betterwife Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 While I was seperated from my husband last month he slept with two of his clients. The thing is he want tell me how he met them. I think I have the right to know where he meet these girls. Eventhough he know who and where with my sexual partner. He said, "that he had the right to know because i left him. But still I'm back now and I want to know because he is dealing with his ex-whores. Tell me if i'm right or wrong.
Tiggerlove Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 Personally, if I were you, I'd only prefer to know if he did sleep with anyone..and if so, then for him to go and get tested for every kind of std test possible. I think he should have the right to ask you to do the same if you both are going to be intimate now that you're back. Otherwise, I wouldnt' want to know who or where he met these women from. I've done that with my boyfriend when we were on breaks, and I ended up hearing too much. I have this natural obsession to hear about things he might have done with women...then I end up regretting asking because then I have an image- him with her.
Outcast Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 Betterwife, you've posted this umpteen times. Nobody can tell you for sure. Confront him and have it out with him.
RecordProducer Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 He was honest with you. He could have not told you and everything would have been fine, right? The STD idea is good. You were separated so technically it's not cheating. You have a right to ask whatever you want, but he has the right to not answer your questions. The more you demand answers the more you humiliate yourself and the more he resents you. He told you - they are his clients. Where do you think he met them?
Guest Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 Just because he selpt with a couple of women that does not make them whores as you put it. Seek some individual counseling.
mopar crazy Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 He was honest with you. He could have not told you and everything would have been fine, right? The STD idea is good. You were separated so technically it's not cheating. You have a right to ask whatever you want, but he has the right to not answer your questions. The more you demand answers the more you humiliate yourself and the more he resents you. He told you - they are his clients. Where do you think he met them? RP, I usually agree w/ you but I'm afraid I have to disagree w/ you about it not cheating b/c they were seperated. They were still M, not D, so it is cheating. My H and I were seperated when he had an A and he was still seperated and we were going to go through a D. However, I feel he did cheat on me b/c he was having second doubts about the D and had thoughts of reconciling but all along he was still banging the exOW. She has every right to ask any question until she is blue in the face and it's his responsibilty, as her H, to tell her the truth. If he isn't willing to tell her what she needs to know to start healing then he is basically lying to her. If he isn't willing to get it out on the table and work on his M then he isn't worth it. He f@cked around on her, she has a right to know. Whether it helps or not. She has to make the choice what she wants/needs to know to start healing. I know I asked a lot of ? about the exOW, things I shouldn't have asked but when you go through something so traumatic in your life it's hard not to ask ?. If betterwife and her H had no agreements about sleeping w/ other ppl during their separation then it is cheating. Obviously she is really hurt by all this and I don't blame her. betterwife, what do you hope to accomplish knowing who these OW are? I knew the OW my H had an A w/, but if I hadn't, I would probably want to know who she was myself. It doens't make it any easier to know who the OW is, believe me. I would get tested for STD's and make sure your H gets tested also. I am sorry you are going through this pain.
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