ZachCap Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 Hi guys, I am posting here to get you guys’ opinions on whether this was a G.I.G.S. breakup or not, as well as if you can foresee any possibility of her ever coming back. It’s kind of a long story but I’ll try to keep it concise. We both met the end of our Junior year of high school, and became official that summer. Times were great, we were always on the phone together 24/7 and we loved every second of it. We had nearly everything in common, and we loved spending as much time as we could with each other. Her family loved me and thought I was a great boyfriend, and her father and I became best friends. We talked about all the typical LTR stuff such as children, marriage, what kind of house we’d live in, etc. and we talked about it fairly often. I treated her like a princess and she and her family loved me for it. She ended up going to college in Maine, we both live in Massachusetts and I am going to college around Boston. Throughout the relationship and leading up to before she moved in, we were always set on going long distance in college, and since the distance wasn’t too far we could meet halfway or visit the other every couple of weeks. She moves in and everything is fine the first week. In this time she was getting settled, making new friends, enjoying it, and she was still herself, but the second week she started to change. She started dressing trashy, which is INCREDIBLY unlike her, and going to parties, coming back to her dorm room drunk. When I asked her why she started dressing like that, she blew it off as no big deal and acted as if it wasn’t even happening. I’m assuming she was either trying to fit in with her friends or she liked the attention it got her from other guys. About 4 weeks of her being into college, she mentions a guy she met who she became friends with. She told me he had just gotten out of an LTR. Surprise, three days later she tells me there’s no spark in the relationship anymore and that she’s no longer sexually attracted to me, and she’s felt that way for the past three weeks (The time she was secretly talking to the new guy). She was initially unsure about whether or not she wanted to break up, and she called her family for advice. The family at the time knew the full story and I did not, and I ended up learning that they told her it was the most humane to end things ASAP. She ended up breaking up with me that night, not giving me solid answers, saying that she didn’t know why, that I deserve better, that I’m a wonderful guy and I’ll meet the one, and directly denying a question that it was that other guy. The truth was that she had been meeting up with and texting the other guy in secret, had developed feelings, and left me for him. This was at the end of September. I know it really doesn’t matter, but I’m positive that the guy is a player, as he was making moves on her when he knew she was not single. Furthermore, since he was recently out of an LTR, he’s either using her as a rebound or he purposely dumped his ex to sleep around in college. All of the G.I.G.S. symptoms such as nothing being wrong with the relationship/sudden change in lifestyle and dress/rebound relationship with completely different people seem to be there. What are your thoughts? Is it G.I.G.S? Do you think they’ll last and if so how long? Do you think she’ll eventually come back if so? Thank you in advance for your time.
Marc878 Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 This happens all the time. You were an item in HS. She's moved on in college. LTR's for the most part end. She's found another world out there and she's exploring. You need to go your own way like she has. Cut off all contact. If you don't you'll just hold yourself in limbo. Do not cry, beg, plead or pester her with phone calls, texts, etc. You are to young to waste time on this. The best thing you can do is let her go which will in turn free you.
Guildford Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 I don't know what "G.I.G.S." stands for but here is my advice. You are both young and in different colleges and you will both be forming new relationships. Your old relationship is over, walk away from it. Start dating on your college campus and have a good time. If she decides that she made a mistake and wants to come back to you, say no way. You would never get the old innocent passion back and there will always be resentment. You are young, move forward and no backtracking. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted October 29, 2018 Posted October 29, 2018 I'm sorry you're hurting, OP. It's not GIGS. It's her growing up and exploring and moving on. It hurts, but it's a natural path many young people take when they finish high school and experience college life and the independence that comes with it. She will probably stumble and make mistakes along the way, as will you. People want to say it's this artificial construct known as "GIGS" because it somehow hurts less to label it, but really, it's just youngsters growing up and experimenting and discovering themselves. That usually includes discovering new people too. You two started dating very young, and the vast majority of highschool relationships don't survive into college and beyond. Both parties are generally far too young and inexperienced to settle down, and want to see who else is out there. She outgrew your relationship before you did. She and her new guy might not last a long time, but she likely isn't going to come back to you and stay back. I don't say that to be harsh, but the odds of you and she riding off into the sunset together forever are extraordinarily slim. That would be true even if this new guy hadn't caught her eye. You two will both grow and change so much in the coming years you will likely not even recognize yourselves or each other by the time college is finished and your lives start naturally moving in different directions. High school relationships tend to be more like training wheels for the more mature and deeper relationships we engage in when we enter adulthood. It hurts a lot now, but the best is yet to come for you.
MichaelD Posted October 29, 2018 Posted October 29, 2018 It gets better after some months, im at my 4th after brake up and 1 month of no contact, i had it worse in sacrifices i did for her in the period of 6 years, she is just immature, got no idea what love is about and saw a better deal in her eyes. She might come back, but most likely you wouldnt want her back, as guildford said, the innocence is gone man and nothing would bring it back, it even changed me, i stopped being a nice guy and now my attraction has skyrocket and having a blast. Also she might come back in 10 years when she had her fun and found no one better, do you really want to waste your time for someone who gave up on you and all the memories, for a guy she barely know? Also dont beg for her, i wish i turned back in time and never did that, made me look so stupid. If she is to come again its up to you if you take her back, but dont do anything more for her and just focus on yourself, find new hobbies and so on and maybe a new girl.
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