LoneWolfWanderer Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 This girl I met just split with a guy she was seeing for a month. I want to ask her out... Should I wait, or go for it? She told me outright she was single again.
sabaton Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 This girl I met just split with a guy she was seeing for a month. I want to ask her out... Should I wait, or go for it? She told me outright she was single again. if she told you outright that's she's single without you asking about it - she wants you to ask her out.
d0nnivain Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 You have no idea if she was emotionally done long before the official break up. The longer you wait to ask her out, the more likely you will lose the chance because another guy will come along. Don't discount the possibility that she's not over the EX, but ask anyway & gage her emotional availability while on the date. Don't get friend-zoned.
Author LoneWolfWanderer Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 You have no idea if she was emotionally done long before the official break up. The longer you wait to ask her out, the more likely you will lose the chance because another guy will come along. Don't discount the possibility that she's not over the EX, but ask anyway & gage her emotional availability while on the date. Don't get friend-zoned. Oh, i won't. I refuse to fall into that trap. If she friendzones me, I'm out. I asked her, seems likely. She's asking where we'll go and stuff, and i simply told her that's for me to know and her to find out. Still not getting definite plans though.
sabaton Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 I asked her, seems likely. She's asking where we'll go and stuff, and i simply told her that's for me to know and her to find out. Bro, if I was a woman and you said that to me I'd be bailing out 3
elaine567 Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 Oh, i won't. I refuse to fall into that trap. If she friendzones me, I'm out. I asked her, seems likely. She's asking where we'll go and stuff, and i simply told her that's for me to know and her to find out. Still not getting definite plans though. Well unless you state clearly what your plans are, then how can she decide yes or no. Stop hedging your bets and playing silly games, make a proper date, time and place. She says yes - great, she says no - move on. Whilst you are messing about some other guy may jump right in there. 1
sabaton Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 Well unless you state clearly what your plans are, then how can she decide yes or no. Stop hedging your bets and playing silly games, make a proper date, time and place. She says yes - great, she says no - move on. Whilst you are messing about some other guy may jump right in there. Yeah, listen OP. Don't play teenagerish mind games, even if you are a teenager or close to it. Tell this girl what you are planning to do, and schedule that date as fast as possible. You gotta hit that iron while it's hot, because if you don't some other guy will. She's probably talking to several other guys at the same time, and I got the feeling they aren't telling her, ''that's for me to know.'' 1
Cersei Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 Oh, i won't. I refuse to fall into that trap. If she friendzones me, I'm out. I asked her, seems likely. She's asking where we'll go and stuff, and i simply told her that's for me to know and her to find out. . Oh bad thing to say. If that was your attempt at humour try again!
Author LoneWolfWanderer Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 Bro, if I was a woman and you said that to me I'd be bailing out She knows I want to take her to dinner. I told her straight up: "How about dinner next week, when are you free?" that sorta thing. None of this: "Let's go out sometime, and where we go is for you to find out" nonsense. Well unless you state clearly what your plans are, then how can she decide yes or no. Stop hedging your bets and playing silly games, make a proper date, time and place. She says yes - great, she says no - move on. Whilst you are messing about some other guy may jump right in there. I asked her to dinner. I'm just waiting for her to tell me when she is available, see if it matches my schedule, and if so, make the plans. Other than knowing the time and what the general theme of the evening is, I'll be deflating the mystery if I told her every detail of the date. I'm not going to go "Thursday 7pm, dinner at so and so, and this and thats going to happen, be there or be squared" so to speak. We need to negotiate a time and day that works for both of us. She doesn't need to know where we're going, because I'll pick her up and let the evening unfold on it's own. All she needs to know is what time i'm picking her up, and probably what kind of clothes she needs to wear (casual, semi-formal, formal, that kind of thing) and that we'll be having dinner together.
Author LoneWolfWanderer Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 Yeah, listen OP. Don't play teenagerish mind games, even if you are a teenager or close to it. Tell this girl what you are planning to do, and schedule that date as fast as possible. You gotta hit that iron while it's hot, because if you don't some other guy will. She's probably talking to several other guys at the same time, and I got the feeling they aren't telling her, ''that's for me to know.'' I'm not playing games, at least not intentionally. I'm following what I learnt from reading Coach Corey Wayne's book several times about building mystery, anticipation and wonder. Plus, I don't want to be like all the other guys she's talking to, because I'm not like them. If she likes me, great, if not, great. Maybe I'm misinterpreting it, but telling a girl every detail of the date prior, diminishes the whole "sense of discovery" vibe.
sabaton Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 I'm not playing games, at least not intentionally. I'm following what I learnt from reading Coach Corey Wayne's book several times about building mystery, anticipation and wonder. What's with this loveshack male fixation with Coach Corey Wanye??? Men have been pursuing women for thousands of years just fine without some online Coach that thinks he knows everything about women and men. Guys, give it a rest iwth Coach Corey and start being yourself, because girls aren't interested in guys pretending to play a part. Mystery and anticipation and wonder will do you guys any good when the girl instead of going out with you because you're PLAYING GAMES goes out with a dude who makes his intentions and sexual and romantic interest in her plain to see, because he doesn't read no coach corey and let's his natural-born instincts take the driving seat. I don't want to be like all the other guys she's talking to, because I'm not like them. Yeah, that's what I also say. ''Girl, I'm not like the other men that are hitting on you. I don't want to have sex with you the very first second you give me the go-ahead for it. I want to build a strong, genuine, emotional connection so ya see that you are special to me and that I am interested in something a lot more than just sex.'' Hell, no. I hit on that like I'm competing for the #1 prize of who's the best blacksmith in the world. I'm not going to give the girl any doubt that I just see her as a friend. I'll flirt. I'll be crude about it, what I want to do to her if she ever lets me get my hands on her. let your testosterone take the front row seat, man. Girls want sex as much as we do, and they want to have sex with men who desire them so much that we're willing to be called pervs or slapped for it. Take a chance. The Gods favor the bold!
d0nnivain Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 Coach Corey or any other PUA guru is NOT to be taken literally. The basic advice is about having self confidence & not being a doormat. The rest of the advice is drivel. When these guys tell you to build mystery, the do not mean withhold the location of the date. They mean don't spill every deep dark secret of your life and your biggest fears within minutes of meeting.
Author LoneWolfWanderer Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 What's with this loveshack male fixation with Coach Corey Wanye??? Men have been pursuing women for thousands of years just fine without some online Coach that thinks he knows everything about women and men. Guys, give it a rest iwth Coach Corey and start being yourself, because girls aren't interested in guys pretending to play a part. IMO he doesn't teach men to play games. He teaches men to adopt a mentality where they aren't beta male orbiters hoping for scraps. He teaches men that don't have a clue, how to own who they are, not shy away from their attraction, and to go for what they want. Sure, he speaks of several tactics, but ultimately it's about adopting the mentality that you don't care whether one woman likes you or not. Mystery and anticipation and wonder will do you guys any good when the girl instead of going out with you because you're PLAYING GAMES goes out with a dude who makes his intentions and sexual and romantic interest in her plain to see, because he doesn't read no coach corey and let's his natural-born instincts take the driving seat. That's what he teaches. Sadly and with myself included, not all of us have been taught this stuff from our father's, instead been brainwashed by silly romcom's developed by beta's who live in a fantasy. He teaches men, who want to develop and learn this stuff, how to adopt the mentality where you're not hung up on just one woman, you can go up to a woman and state your intentions with confidence, and so forth. Yeah, that's what I also say. ''Girl, I'm not like the other men that are hitting on you. I don't want to have sex with you the very first second you give me the go-ahead for it. I want to build a strong, genuine, emotional connection so ya see that you are special to me and that I am interested in something a lot more than just sex.'' Hell, no. I hit on that like I'm competing for the #1 prize of who's the best blacksmith in the world. I'm not going to give the girl any doubt that I just see her as a friend. I'll flirt. I'll be crude about it, what I want to do to her if she ever lets me get my hands on her. let your testosterone take the front row seat, man. Girls want sex as much as we do, and they want to have sex with men who desire them so much that we're willing to be called pervs or slapped for it. Take a chance. The Gods favor the bold! What i meant by that, I'm not like every other guy that is trying to lick up the crumbs she's leaving them, at least I working hard not to be another one of those guys. I don't want to be playing games, I want to outright tell a woman how appealing she is to me, guage her interest in me and move forward from there, and do it with the confidence that says "He knows what he wants and isn't afraid to go get it". know what i mean? Besides, i'm not entirely certain why it's such a bad thing to add mystery etc into an experience. I mean, wouldn't you be bored if you were told what your birthday present was before you got the chance to open it? I know I would be, it literally sucks the excitement out of opening it, or being told the ending to your favourite TV show? Anyway, please enlighten me on A) where i went wrong, B) how much to tell her so i'm not spoiling the ending for her whilst still speaking my desire for her, and C) if necessary, how can I recover from this?
elaine567 Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 If you know this girl from other sources then it may be OK, but many women are not going to go on a magical mystery tour with some guy they hardly know... it is not safe to do so. 2
Author LoneWolfWanderer Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 Coach Corey or any other PUA guru is NOT to be taken literally. The basic advice is about having self confidence & not being a doormat. The rest of the advice is drivel. When these guys tell you to build mystery, the do not mean withhold the location of the date. They mean don't spill every deep dark secret of your life and your biggest fears within minutes of meeting. So you're telling me that it's okay to tell her where we are going, well at least the first place, and that this won't ruin her attraction towards me due to me revealing this to her? I'm not wanting her attraction to go down, I want to build it up as much as possible, which sadly I haven't been very good at until I started reading Corey Wayne, Robert A Glover, Dale Carnegie and Tony Robbins, among others. Here's another question. I've already told her she's going to find out on the day. How do i tell her where we are going without coming across as though i'm not standing my ground/or communicating to her that "hey, i'm actually push over that can't seem to make up his mind"
FMW Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 Yes - you are playing games and it's painfully obvious. Don't be surprised if she opts out for a guy who treats her like a fellow human being, not a toy to boost his feelings of being "the man". 1
Cersei Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 Where you went wrong: Your comment came off as arrogant and cocky. Perhaps next time say "It's a surprise. I hope you like it." Or something like that. Plus not every girl likes surprises. I certainly don't. Some of us are planners. 1
sabaton Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 IMO he doesn't teach men to play games. He teaches men to adopt a mentality where they aren't beta male orbiters hoping for scraps. Beta male orbiters? What the heck is that? Listen, women for the most part have to deal with players, fucbois, cads, and lots of other guys who are not good relationship material for one reason or another. Playing games, and you can call Monopoly ice fishing, it still ends up being a board game, will land you in that category of men women create where they put the undeatable men for whatever motive they have to consider the guy to be undeatable. He teaches men that don't have a clue, how to own who they are, not shy away from their attraction, and to go for what they want. Sure, he speaks of several tactics, but ultimately it's about adopting the mentality that you don't care whether one woman likes you or not. Tou don't need a dating coach to know that. Just realize that most people get rejected anyway, and that if one woman isn't attracted to you there will always be another that will. That's what he teaches. Sadly and with myself included, not all of us have been taught this stuff from our father's, My father didn't teach me anything. I've put myself in the position of being approached by girls since I was 13. The girls that were into me, approached me, the ones that weren't into me didn't approach me. There were probably girls that would've said yes if I had approached them but in the end it doesn't matter to me, because I feel that the attraction they harborered for me was low, or they'd have approached me. instead been brainwashed by silly romcom's developed by beta's who live in a fantasy. Yeah, man I don't know what romcoms you're watching because they're usually populated by very attractive people and they're made with the dramatic intent of having people spend money to watch them. They have nothing to do with relationships. Besides, i'm not entirely certain why it's such a bad thing to add mystery etc into an experience. I mean, wouldn't you be bored if you were told what your birthday present was before you got the chance to open it? I know I would be, it literally sucks the excitement out of opening it, or being told the ending to your favourite TV show? Listen, you there's flirting and then there's games. Flirting would be like how I met this girl online and we had no clue about what each other looked like because we met on a website dedicated to pictures of landscaping, and she asked me the colour of my eyes, and I told her to guess it. Then I sent her a picture of my eyes, just my eyes. Anyway, please enlighten me on A) where i went wrong, B) how much to tell her so i'm not spoiling the ending for her whilst still speaking my desire for her, and C) if necessary, how can I recover from this? Just ask her out, tell her where you two are going, pick her up, take her there, be chill about it, flirt with her, gauge her interest by the way she reacts to you, and then if you want to see her again ask her out. Don't wait until the date is over. Ask her out in person. Much more personal than texting ''hey, wanna go out with me again?''
elaine567 Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 She will be looking for a guy she gets along with not some "man of mystery", who treats her like a child. "i simply told her that's for me to know and her to find out." At that point my diary would suddenly be unexpectedly and decidedly full. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 I'm telling you that not telling her where you are going is making you look childish & is ruining her opinion of you. You have already started this dumb game so now on some level you have to follow through but the decision to not tell her was a bad one. Pick a day & time that work for you. Present it to her as a fait accompli. Your refusal to say Thursday at 7 is your downfall. Waiting for her to tell you her schedule is beta. She gets to dictate that way. Call her back. Tell her you made a reservation & see what she says next in response to the specifics. Your failure to make concrete plans here is your downfall. You can keep the exact name of the restaurant under wraps but do give her a dress code. Don't ever play games like that initially again. After you have an established relationship that type of secret is fine. As your initial interaction it's unattractive game playing. 1
sabaton Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 She will be looking for a guy she gets along with not some "man of mystery", who treats her like a child. "i simply told her that's for me to know and her to find out." At that point my diary would suddenly be unexpectedly and decidedly full. I don't understand why young men are listening to online dating gurus that are nothing more than charlatans trying to steal an easy buck from these guys??? A man of mystery. What the heck does that even mean in the first place???
Author LoneWolfWanderer Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 Beta male orbiters? What the heck is that? Listen, women for the most part have to deal with players, fucbois, cads, and lots of other guys who are not good relationship material for one reason or another. Beta orbiters are guys that just hang around women as friends, in the hopes they'll later fall in love with them, and eventually sleep with them. They're the one's who tend to get friendzoned. Playing games, and you can call Monopoly ice fishing, it still ends up being a board game, will land you in that category of men women create where they put the undeatable men for whatever motive they have to consider the guy to be undeatable. Tou don't need a dating coach to know that. Just realize that most people get rejected anyway, and that if one woman isn't attracted to you there will always be another that will. Well, I am a 30 year old virgin, so something i've been doing hasn't been working, and I want to break that pattern. My father didn't teach me anything. I've put myself in the position of being approached by girls since I was 13. The girls that were into me, approached me, the ones that weren't into me didn't approach me. There were probably girls that would've said yes if I had approached them but in the end it doesn't matter to me, because I feel that the attraction they harborered for me was low, or they'd have approached me. Yeah, man I don't know what romcoms you're watching because they're usually populated by very attractive people and they're made with the dramatic intent of having people spend money to watch them. They have nothing to do with relationships. Listen, you there's flirting and then there's games. Flirting would be like how I met this girl online and we had no clue about what each other looked like because we met on a website dedicated to pictures of landscaping, and she asked me the colour of my eyes, and I told her to guess it. Then I sent her a picture of my eyes, just my eyes. Just ask her out, tell her where you two are going, pick her up, take her there, be chill about it, flirt with her, gauge her interest by the way she reacts to you, and then if you want to see her again ask her out. Don't wait until the date is over. Ask her out in person. Much more personal than texting ''hey, wanna go out with me again?'' Okay, I think i really need to learn the difference between playing games and flirting/building attraction. I'm not a player, and I don't want to be, but I ain't pushover either. So any insight as to how I can be aware of when i'm playing games, or when I'm actually doing something to build sexual anticipation, attraction and eventually get this girl to fall for me (which i'm well aware is beyond my control, I just mean be the best I can be for her) or even standing up for myself if necessary?
Author LoneWolfWanderer Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 I'm telling you that not telling her where you are going is making you look childish & is ruining her opinion of you. You have already started this dumb game so now on some level you have to follow through but the decision to not tell her was a bad one. Pick a day & time that work for you. Present it to her as a fait accompli. Your refusal to say Thursday at 7 is your downfall. Waiting for her to tell you her schedule is beta. She gets to dictate that way. Call her back. Tell her you made a reservation & see what she says next in response to the specifics. Your failure to make concrete plans here is your downfall. You can keep the exact name of the restaurant under wraps but do give her a dress code. Don't ever play games like that initially again. After you have an established relationship that type of secret is fine. As your initial interaction it's unattractive game playing. Well, if i made a mistake, i'm happy to own up to it. She even said she doesn't mind going to dinner with me. Is texting fine? I hate phone calls, I can never hear what they are saying on the other end lol. and what, do that now? even after i've royally f-ed up? Can I recover from this, or is it now a lost cause?
alphamale Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 A man of mystery. What the heck does that even mean in the first place??? catch one of the Austin Powers movies
snowcones Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 This girl I met just split with a guy she was seeing for a month. I want to ask her out... Should I wait, or go for it? She told me outright she was single again. Is this really a question? Of course ask her out now.
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