Meddle Posted October 27, 2018 Posted October 27, 2018 Hello, 3 months ago I met a guy with whom we started to get a long very well from the beginning. A lot in common, similar sense of humour, I felt very good and comfortable with him. I thought we are dating and it goes somewhere, he bought me a rose, he always was suggesting to meet up. However, there was no physical contact between us (he was even sitting far away from me), he was writing only once a week/two weeks to set up a meeting. I was trying to carry on the conversation but it failed. He never complimented me, he never called me, walk me home, invite on facebook even. Our meetings were casual, mostly just going for a walk (once we went out of the town for one day) and except of one time I was always paying for myself. Once we planned to go to the cinema (he suggested) and to discuss the details he wrote me 1 hour before the start of the date.. After the first month I decided that we were just friends as we did not proceed and he said he may come back to his hometown in the future. I started to back off and distance myself a bit becasue felt a little hurt. Recently he wrote me that I am not involved enough and this way out relationship will not develop. I said that from my perspective we were just friends. He replied that he was not very good at writing and that I was an special person and did not make a move becasue he was shy (we are 26). I told him that apparently he did was not that into me. Did he toy with me? Keeping me on a backburner? I started to blame myself for all of that...
Lotsgoingon Posted October 27, 2018 Posted October 27, 2018 Wow, this guy is deeply confused ... and/or socially inept. Yes, you are right to pay attention to feelings ... and another way of putting that in this case is to say pay attention to his actions. Putting those two together: How you feel (really DON'T feel) + How he acts (no romantic energy or warmth or touch) = not a good partner and that's being generous. He doesn't have the skills or maturity apparently to date ... and saying he's shy is way too insufficient. He would have to share that with you early on ... and still find a way to be present to you. Frankly, I don't think you were ever dating. Leave him alone. First rule of dating: you feel the other person's interest ... and you're interested ... and second rule, you feel fantastic with the person.
smackie9 Posted October 27, 2018 Posted October 27, 2018 Whatever the guy's deal was, he's not the one for you. You obviously want a man to take the lead and show you his desire for you...compliments, holding your hand, being intrigued with you in conversation, expressing his desire, interest in you. This guy is a dud...this is all on him, not you. I doubt there was anything you could have done to have him do any of that. He has bad anxiety, and if he can't get help for that, what makes him think that dating someone will? His loss.
I'veseenbetterlol Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 Always go by actions, not words. I've made the mistake of trusting words over action and ended up getting hurt. If a man cares for you, it shows and you will feel his interest/love. Do not make excuses for him or think you are asking too much. Just ignore him and date other guys/
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