Author Newheregirl Posted October 29, 2018 Author Posted October 29, 2018 (edited) There are women who indeed get emotionally attached to a guy when having sex, but lets be frank. How many guys are good in bed? How many guys bother making their girlfriends orgasm? Just check the thread on the sexual and reproductive sub about women complaining that the men they got with - including loving boyfriends -just didn't care about their sexual pleasure. Sorry, I ain't seeing women developing romantic feelings over a guy who is as bad at sex as I am at painting the Mona Lisa, and most men aren't good in bed, so.. From what I know, women release oxytocin when having sex, which leads to feelings of attachment. But... this happens more often when sex is reallllyyyyy good. The last guy I had casual sex with the sex was good. It wasn't realllyyyyy good, just good. I did feel the oxytocin for about a week afterwards, but I was VERY aware of what was it and I put my logical brain to work and making me see him for who he really is, and that I would never want him for a relationship. Also, he lied to me afterwards saying he wanted a date and then giving hundreds of excuses, so that made it easier for me too. I also remember another guy I had a ONS after I broke up my ex-boyfriend, and the sex was soooo bad, I didn't have ANY ocytoxin rush, I felt nothing. So, it is true that women can feel attachment afterwards, but many don't even know this about ocytoxin - I only found out about this on my late 20's! This should be taught to young girls so they know how their bodies work! So many women tend to confuse this oxytoxin rush with love (especially when the sex is good). But if they are aware and conscious of what it is, is just a question of waiting a few days until is flushed out of the body, pretty much like lactic acid after exercising. Edited October 29, 2018 by Newheregirl
snowcones Posted October 29, 2018 Posted October 29, 2018 When I've done casual arrangements it works exactly like she's looking for. And you know what happens? Absolutely 100% of the time the girl ends up wanting more. You don't get ass left and right. You upset people left and right, even going in with good intentions and 100% honesty. Now I rarely even look for casual, because dealing with dashing someone's hopes just isn't worth it. Well you're a good guy then. I know a couple of guys who do it the way she's looking for and they don't care.
Author Newheregirl Posted October 29, 2018 Author Posted October 29, 2018 Well you're a good guy then. I know a couple of guys who do it the way she's looking for and they don't care. From my experience(s), and I'm not a therapist, but I can tell that these guys that just want sex and treat women poorly, are one (or more) of this: - Heartbroken from a past girlfriend/wife and hating women - Heartbroken from a past girlfriend/wife and still wanting to get back to her - With deep wounds and traumas from childhood - Completely emotional unavailable - Completely lost in life not knowing what they want - Completely judgemental about women due to religious and education limiting beliefs And why do I think this? Because I am in my late 30's, and I am talking about guys in their late 30's too and early 40's, not 20's boys. I would understand a 20 something f**boy who just wants to "pull" and have fun and not giving a s***. He's immature and exploring life. But a grown-up man with a lot more age? That still isn't self aware of how he treats others? That's why in most cases these guys do what they do because of deep core wounds and traumas, not just because they are "having fun". They just give sex a bad name.
snowcones Posted October 30, 2018 Posted October 30, 2018 From my experience(s), and I'm not a therapist, but I can tell that these guys that just want sex and treat women poorly, are one (or more) of this: - Heartbroken from a past girlfriend/wife and hating women - Heartbroken from a past girlfriend/wife and still wanting to get back to her - With deep wounds and traumas from childhood - Completely emotional unavailable - Completely lost in life not knowing what they want - Completely judgemental about women due to religious and education limiting beliefs And why do I think this? Because I am in my late 30's, and I am talking about guys in their late 30's too and early 40's, not 20's boys. I would understand a 20 something f**boy who just wants to "pull" and have fun and not giving a s***. He's immature and exploring life. But a grown-up man with a lot more age? That still isn't self aware of how he treats others? That's why in most cases these guys do what they do because of deep core wounds and traumas, not just because they are "having fun". They just give sex a bad name. It's not going to benefit you at all to feel sorry for them or play therapist. In fact, it will harm you. 1
Author Newheregirl Posted October 30, 2018 Author Posted October 30, 2018 It's not going to benefit you at all to feel sorry for them or play therapist. In fact, it will harm you. I don't recall saying I feel sorry for them or I play therapist!? I was saying I get it why they are the way they are. I don't feel sorry at all or want to help anyone, I want distance from this s***. 1
Lisa_Lisa Posted October 30, 2018 Posted October 30, 2018 I can see both sides of the coin. I had a f*ck buddy whose house I used to drive over, he'd pleasure me, and then I'd leave. I got no oxytocin rush and never wondered what he was doing afterwards, if he was going to text me or call me or wonder when he might see me again. He just wasn't my type or the kind of man I could see myself with, so in that case I was able to have continuous sex with me and not feel attached. But when I meet someone I like and I feel like he might be right up my alley, well, it's different. And if he's good in bed then I attach myself like bee to honey and I can't get him out of my mind. I wonder when I'll see him, I will him to text or call and if he doesn't then I do and I end up looking desperate. My logic goes out the window when I feel those feelings. I get really high when we're intimate and then I get really low when we part ways. I feel like it might be easier to get a man who is respectful, kind, emotionally available and who will put your sexual pleasure first. It's just a matter of searching for him until you find him.
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