Niceguy11 Posted October 27, 2018 Posted October 27, 2018 Hi, I was contacted by this older guy on a dating site on Wednesday evening. We exchanged pics, liked each other, and talked on whatsapp as well. We're both interested in a relationship. He lives a 2-hour flight far me. He invited me to visit him and offered to pay for my flight. He wanted me to fly today, as he was more free for the following 5-6 days. I told him that I was for 2 weeks on a sick leave - which is true - and l couldn't leave work like that. In a month, it'd be easier for me to take some days off, and in the meantime we get to know each other better. He responded that he'd try - though hard for him - to wait this long for the date. We ended our chat the day before yesterday, in order to take things a bit slowly but keep in touch. Somehow he expects me to re-initiate contact..Should I write to him again today or wait for him to do that? Thanks.
d0nnivain Posted October 27, 2018 Posted October 27, 2018 It's too early for you to be already hung up on who's "turn" it is to write / reach out. That said, I'd be very leery of any guy who offered me plane tickets before I met him. Why can't he come to your city & stay in a hotel, especially if you are OOW for medical reasons & he has time on his hands?
Author Niceguy11 Posted October 27, 2018 Author Posted October 27, 2018 It's too early for you to be already hung up on who's "turn" it is to write / reach out. That said, I'd be very leery of any guy who offered me plane tickets before I met him. Why can't he come to your city & stay in a hotel, especially if you are OOW for medical reasons & he has time on his hands? Thanks for the feedback. You're right about it. I will ask him to come to my city, if he has the time (and still the desire ) for us to get to know each other closely.
Author Niceguy11 Posted October 27, 2018 Author Posted October 27, 2018 So why not date locally? Why? Because I live in a country where there is still too much stigma against LGBT community, which makes it really hard to have a relationship. Either way, l feel caught between a rock and a hard place..
d0nnivain Posted October 27, 2018 Posted October 27, 2018 If he cites stigma or safety as a reason for not coming to your country to meet, at least pick a neutral location. Temper your expectations regarding initial sleep overs & make sure you are not pressured into anything. Safety has to be a main concern. Also stigma notwithstanding, what's the game plan with an LDR. Are you willing to relocate? I just don't see the point in starting something you can't finish due to immigration issues.
AngryGromit Posted October 28, 2018 Posted October 28, 2018 I would recommend against getting involved with someone that does not live locally. Long distance relationships rarely work out, a two hour flight is something like 600 miles. If things do work out and you two get together, someone's is going to have to move.
Author Niceguy11 Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 If he cites stigma or safety as a reason for not coming to your country to meet, at least pick a neutral location. Temper your expectations regarding initial sleep overs & make sure you are not pressured into anything. Safety has to be a main concern. Also stigma notwithstanding, what's the game plan with an LDR. Are you willing to relocate? I just don't see the point in starting something you can't finish due to immigration issues. By "stigma" I meant the overall attitude of my society toward people who are not straight. Yes, I told him there should be no pressure involved in any regards. I might consider the idea of relocation only under the right circumstances and in due time.
Author Niceguy11 Posted October 28, 2018 Author Posted October 28, 2018 I would recommend against getting involved with someone that does not live locally. Long distance relationships rarely work out, a two hour flight is something like 600 miles. If things do work out and you two get together, someone's is going to have to move. You're right about that..I'm fully aware of the difficulties entailed..
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