Sketis Posted October 26, 2018 Posted October 26, 2018 Hello all, So not really sure how to categorize this. I guess kind of a questioning/venting thread on this girl. We had been seeing each other for about 3 months. Not real long but long enough for us to discover how much alike we are,which might have ended up being part of the problem (purely speculation). About 3 months in she gave me the dreaded "I need space to recharge" Literally the day before she needed space she was texting about how much she liked me and how different I was. We went out that same day and had a great night. She kissed me good night and literally the next day she flipped the switch. So that's what I did. I gave her space. I let all communication come from her,which even during her need of space, she would still text me several times a day and I would only respond to the texts she sent. During this time,I kept myself occupied doing other things. About 2 weeks ago,we set a date to go out again. When we went out, she said she appreciated me giving her space and told me that she had been really confused on our connection. I told her I understood. She kissed me good night and we parted. Next day,she told me that she felt like I was more of a brother. I almost blurted out "I don't think normal families do what we did" Instead,I simply said "I don't want to invalidate her feeling but I disagree" We talked for a bit and it was left at that. A few days go by (we are friends on social media) and a post pops up about someone being her harbor and she feels peaceful on even the darkest of days. Of course I asked her about it. At which time she admitted that during the time she was needing space,a friend she hadn't talked to in a long time emerged and she started feeling a connection with him which further confused her as to the one she felt with me. She posted it on social media so she obviously wasn't trying to hide it and possibly wanted to see how I would react. Obviously,a bit heartbroken about this I had no choice but to accept and simply left the conversation. No good bye. No begging. No nothing. I just left. Same day she is texting me wanting to know if I'm ok. I don't bother to reply. That was 3 days ago. A couple days ago she posted on social media that "I may be lonely but I'm not desperate or easy. I deserve someone who will fight with me,not against me" During the night,she apparently text me saying she's been beating herself up ever since she started talking to the other guy because of how bad she felt. I don't know if she's wanting forgiveness or having regrets or what's going on there. I have no idea what to make of all this. Obviously,she's confused,as am I.
Chilli Posted October 26, 2018 Posted October 26, 2018 Don't think it's about forgiveness or whatever , think she just wants you to know that she does feel bad. But yeah , tbh l don't think there's much you can do. lt's so early in for you guys yet already she's having troubles and confused about someone else, not a real good sign sorry to say. Even if you get back together it's probably just gonna reoccur again before long , there's just something missing for her. For those reasons if it was me l wouldn't even attempt holding onto this tbh , you'll never know when this or something else is gonna strike next. All the best.
Lotsgoingon Posted October 26, 2018 Posted October 26, 2018 So ... sorry for your pain .... But you can from this experience. Key: asking for "space" doesn't exist. Asking for space means I want to get away from another person. Means I don't really feel it for the other person. So time to learn that ... Someone asks for space, I'm sorry: things are in trouble. So you felt burned in being noble in giving space and then finding that she didn't "return" to you ... What asking for space means is I'm bored with the relationship, tired of the relationship, not feeling good about the relationship. And I'm not quite ready to face this ... or give up.
smackie9 Posted October 26, 2018 Posted October 26, 2018 What she did was shady and selfish. IMO she isn't that into you if she was checking out another option. You don't want to be with someone that passively sends you messages over social media...so immature! Write her off. 1
ChatroomHero Posted October 26, 2018 Posted October 26, 2018 So she wants someone to fight for her when she puts up roadblocks and puts no effort into fighting for them? Basically she wants to pit you against the other guy and see who does the most for her to win her affection. You handled it correctly. She isn't worth 'fighting for' and like someone else said, it will happen again. She will judge you on how much you fight for her whenever she puts up different obstacles. It's a **** test and not worth dealing with.
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