Kurtis Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 Well, I've thought about things a bit... I always used to think that I could find someone I liked and eventually date them but, it just never works for me. I've tried asking about 4 girls out to coffee in the last year or two. They just weren't interested. The last was a girl I met a year ago and we've been acquaintances since then, but her friend just told me this morning that she's only interested in being friends. So I guess love is just a big co-incidence then right? Because of all the lurking variables and how people are just so different, I guess all you can do is just keep meeting people. I do notice though that with the 2 girls I dated up until now (I'm 22), both of them were the ones that suggested a relationship, I don't know if I should just accept the fact that I'm more a follower than a leader if you know what I mean, (not that I was unhappy). But still, I would like to be the confident guy that can find somebody. I look alright, I am confident. But how can I find the right balance in order to meet someone? If I pay too much attention to people as I walk by, it seems like I'm staring or stalking... well, honestly, I stare and just drift into space and wish I had someone I could take care of and be best friends etc. On the other hand if I just act happy with myself, then these people might think I don't need anybody. So how the hell do people meet? Unless early 20's is just not a good time... I don't see what's wrong with 20 though. If anyone can share their experiences of trying to find someone, and how many people they dated in order to finally find someone that would be coool.
mixwell Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 I think what you should be doing is going out to clubs and bars with your guy friends.. I am the same age and I have been doing that and meeting alot of girls.. its a numbers game. The more exposure you get and the more girls you talk to then the better your chances are.. Don't waste your time and energy on just one girl. You will find someone but just try to get out there more.. Also just act laid back.. Maybe you are coming off as being desperate? Thats how I was before and I stopped that habit quickly ! There was this girl I met through a friend and we all went out to a club and we danced.. Well I was sort of just sticking by this chick the whole night.. Eventually I found out she liked me but thought I was being too clingy.. So you might want to think about that as well.. I am still fairly new to this whole dating and club scene but as more time goes on I am learning.. Hope this helps you.
Author Kurtis Posted September 11, 2005 Author Posted September 11, 2005 thank you, i'll try to not look desperate... even though i am. I swear, all I need to do is look at one happy couple and then I'm down the rest of the day. Why do nice guys finish last...
animo Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 Nice guys is a stupid buzzterm that was invented by guys who fail to get any. How is it possible? Oh it must be because i'm a nice guy and women don't want nice guys because they are.... ?! I guiss not dude. It's not cause you're a nice guy... it's because you lack a couple of things that make you a masculin type of guy. Masculin guys are not clingy because clingy = wimpy, to just name one thing you might be doing wrong... You stated you've dated 4 girls in the last couple of years... What did you expect? You've tried like what? 0.000000001% of the global population? 0.00001% of your local female population? If you intend to hit it off with 1 out of every 4 women then seriously, you must be a total stud or just gods gift to women cause frankly you should aim more like 1 out of 10 if you are above averagly attracktive....more like 1 out of 20 if you are just an average type of guy... Then bare the following in mind... I'm a guy who according to myself has all the time in the world to find the women i want to spend my life with. Out of every woman that is actually intrested enough to date me... about 1 in 100 women are actually a match i'd want to spend my life with! So yeah there you have it. Going from the assumption you are an averagely attracktive man, you would have to hit on about 2000 women and date about 100 of them just to find your perfect match. Safe to say 4 is a little optimistic... so yeah good luck! I suggest you start hitting on women today rather then tomorow, you got alot of work ahead of you... But yeah, don't let what i said discourage you in any way. Because along the way there might be a few hot and steamy relationships, some flirts, some sex etc...unless ofcourse you are tomuch of a nice guy to take advantage of any of those things, and that being said, taking 'advantage' is actually not a suitable word since noone is actually being taken advantage of.
blue16 Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 thank you, Why do nice guys finish last... I swear if I hear someone say that one more time my head is gonna explode...
fundamental Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 thank you, i'll try to not look desperate... even though i am. I swear, all I need to do is look at one happy couple and then I'm down the rest of the day. Why do nice guys finish last... Desperation is killing your chances. You are letting other couples change your mood??? You say you are confident and you may be...but right now your confidence level is low. You have to work on your confidence and not focus on relationships...especially other couples--yeah they may seem happy in public, but many relationships are in turmoil. The nice guys that finish last are the ones that don't put in the effort to try and win. You can't win a race without preparation, training, confidence, and practice. The problem with a nice guy is that he shows up to the race with just his "niceness" expecting to win. If he does that, he will always finish last.
mixwell Posted September 11, 2005 Posted September 11, 2005 Hey Kurtis, The whole nice guys finish last is based on guys giving into woman too much and kissing arse.. Once you become no challenge to a woman and they can control you then you are no longer a challenge to them, which in turn lowers there interest level. The idea is to be a challenge to a girl and keep her interested in you. Girls like a challenge and believe it or not like to persue, but most guy act like total wuss bags and in turn and don't give the girl a chance to. Yeah in the beginning you can persue but then let her be the one that initiates it... I have a couple of e-books that are very informational about getting girls.. Email me at [email protected] if you are interested..
Recommended Posts