Sammygirl Posted October 25, 2018 Posted October 25, 2018 Help I've been seeing this guy for about 2 months. It's about time we have the talk of what are we becaude we act like bf and gf and stated that's what we both want but Havnt made it official. I don't see him often which isn't a problem. We both have busy lives. I also Havnt had sex with him yet until I know he wants to be serious with me. I've noticed his texting has been pretty low lately. And honestly he's just been busy and I kinda had enough and decided to tell him I want more. Keep in mind he will send 1 msg a day or every 2 days right now which doesnt cut it when we don't see each other daily. We see each other once a week. Anyways when we are together he's very lovey dovey. Talks about our future dates and shows PDA and takes me on dates. Last weekend.. So like 5 days ago I left his house after being there Friday and Saturday and he almost came. Over Saturday night because he wanted to be with me more. Anwyays... Today I sent him a jokey msg saying I require more attention lol. He responded with... If you Havnt noticed yet but I'm kind of bad at that. I thought that msg was kind of sassy but I ignored it because I thought maybe I was reading into it too much. Anyways I responded with... Sorry I'm not trying to be abrasive or anything lol... I just don't want to be the kind of girl you only text when you want me to come over and just got confused by our communication. No response. Deleted his PoF. Got my friend to text him as a random number and he responded to her... Granted it sounded like a work related msg and those are more important at the time. Anybody wanna tell me what's going on. Any time. We've had a conflict he does avpid confrontation but is usually very understanding. So he either 1. Is ghosting for some reason this was enough to start that. 2. In a bad mood and will respond later. 3. Decided he can't handle a relationship now so he deleted everything... Still think he would be honest with me tho. 4. Some. Other thing.. Dont know what to do now
Kellens Posted October 25, 2018 Posted October 25, 2018 I'm sorry but it doesn't seem like he's interested. He didn't respond to your text but responded to someone else. Don't make excuses, if he's not giving you what you want, move on.
LoverOfDance Posted October 25, 2018 Posted October 25, 2018 Man, you have no idea how many threads on this site are similar to yours. When you meet the right guy, you won't have to make threads like these and there will be NO mixed signals. PS. Male users on this site will come on this thread soon and tell you that it's your fault for dating him for two months and refusing to put out. Some will defend the guy and say if they were him, they would have dumped you by now for not putting out. Brace yourself for these people. My advice for you is this - there is a man out there that will treat you much better. You won't find him if you keep dealing with this man. 1
DanielCain Posted October 25, 2018 Posted October 25, 2018 Help I've been seeing this guy for about 2 months. It's about time we have the talk of what are we becaude we act like bf and gf and stated that's what we both want but Havnt made it official. I don't see him often which isn't a problem. We both have busy lives. I also Havnt had sex with him yet until I know he wants to be serious with me. I've noticed his texting has been pretty low lately. And honestly he's just been busy and I kinda had enough and decided to tell him I want more. Keep in mind he will send 1 msg a day or every 2 days right now which doesnt cut it when we don't see each other daily. We see each other once a week. Anyways when we are together he's very lovey dovey. Talks about our future dates and shows PDA and takes me on dates. Last weekend.. So like 5 days ago I left his house after being there Friday and Saturday and he almost came. Over Saturday night because he wanted to be with me more. Anwyays... Today I sent him a jokey msg saying I require more attention lol. He responded with... If you Havnt noticed yet but I'm kind of bad at that. I thought that msg was kind of sassy but I ignored it because I thought maybe I was reading into it too much. Anyways I responded with... Sorry I'm not trying to be abrasive or anything lol... I just don't want to be the kind of girl you only text when you want me to come over and just got confused by our communication. No response. Deleted his PoF. Got my friend to text him as a random number and he responded to her... Granted it sounded like a work related msg and those are more important at the time. Anybody wanna tell me what's going on. Any time. We've had a conflict he does avpid confrontation but is usually very understanding. So he either 1. Is ghosting for some reason this was enough to start that. 2. In a bad mood and will respond later. 3. Decided he can't handle a relationship now so he deleted everything... Still think he would be honest with me tho. 4. Some. Other thing.. Dont know what to do now 1. you're more into him than he is into you 2. that, plus you won't have sex with him yet pressuring him to commit to you. 3. he has to be loveydovey, anything else and you'll leave. To be honest, there's no way I'd date a woman for two months without sex, so he is quite the gentleman. Having a friend text him is very dishonest and manipulative. Of both of you. This guy dodged a bullet.
DanielCain Posted October 25, 2018 Posted October 25, 2018 (edited) Man, you have no idea how many threads on this site are similar to yours. When you meet the right guy, you won't have to make threads like these and there will be NO mixed signals. PS. Male users on this site will come on this thread soon and tell you that it's your fault for dating him for two months and refusing to put out. Some will defend the guy and say if they were him, they would have dumped you by now for not putting out. Brace yourself for these people. My advice for you is this - there is a man out there that will treat you much better. You won't find him if you keep dealing with this man. He's not giving mixed signals. He's consistently polite and considerate. To a fault, actually. How long is a realistic timeline before sex? If it's the amish or fundamentalist christian college, perhaps indefinitely. Aside from specific religious communities there is an informal understanding that boyfriends and girlfriends have regular sex. Otherwise, they are just friends. She led him on never telling him she was unwilling to have sex without an exclusive relationship. In this day and age the only way to enforce this norm is for a woman to marry and bear his children. In those cases, infidelity carries an overwhelming financial penalty. She was leading him on as if she were interested in a typical or "normal" relationship when in fact she wanted something far more different, something closer to traditional, religiously bound relationship. She can't have it both ways. If she is operating under the assumption that sex is not possible without absolute commitment she should say so ahead of time. She strung him along. There are no 'mixed signals.' 'Mixed signals' in this context is simply cover for the fact that that she led him on and now that he won't commit without sex she'll just do an about face and conveniently label him as the bad guy. Edited October 25, 2018 by DanielCain 1
smackie9 Posted October 25, 2018 Posted October 25, 2018 He's been practically standing on his head to meet your expectations, and was respectful of your wish to hold off on sex. Then you start in on him about wanting more. I bet he's just flabbergasted, and wondered what the hell. He's just lost for words.....like all that he has done just to be with you, and he gets this. It's no wonder he didn't have anymore to say. Note: sex is not a currency where it is used to buy you a relationship. 1
I'veseenbetterlol Posted October 25, 2018 Posted October 25, 2018 He doesn't sound interested. There's nothing wrong w/wanting more attention and he liked you he would give you more. One text a day doesn't indicate any type of interest. I would say don't pursue him, I spent too much time chasing guys who wasted my time. The temporary lovey dovey will not be enough for you, trust me. I did a long distance where he was all nice when we were together, but I was pretty much ignored the rest of the time. People will make time for the ones they care about, doesn't matter what is going on in their life.
DanielCain Posted October 25, 2018 Posted October 25, 2018 (edited) He doesn't sound interested. There's nothing wrong w/wanting more attention and he liked you he would give you more. One text a day doesn't indicate any type of interest. I would say don't pursue him' date=' I spent too much time chasing guys who wasted my time. The temporary lovey dovey will not be enough for you, trust me. I did a long distance where he was all nice when we were together, but I was pretty much ignored the rest of the time. People will make time for the ones they care about, doesn't matter what is going on in their life.[/quote'] I would say he's interested but interested in being more than friends. Two months in the friendzone plus a demand for more time, attention, dates, weekends blocked off exclusively is basically prison. He sees she is trying to turn him into her servant and pet and was insulted and let her know gently. The fact that he was only slightly prickly after her attempt to smother him is saying a lot. He invested a lot of money and time in her even with her withholding the assumption that there was no end in sight. Terrible behavior on her part. Edited October 25, 2018 by DanielCain
Logo Posted October 25, 2018 Posted October 25, 2018 Havnt had sex with him yet until I know he wants to be serious with me. What's your understanding of "serious"? I mean, how can he show you that he's serious, by doing what?
LoverOfDance Posted October 25, 2018 Posted October 25, 2018 I think this society is a strange one. I would NEVER date a man who refuses to date me properly until i sleep with him. Why do men even think this is ok??? And why do some women accept this behaviour? While dating a man, i will sleep with him when i am ready, and if he doesn't value, like and respect me enough to stick around, he needs to go the other way. Why would you claim to LIKE a girl but then treat her as an option because she's not ready to have sex yet?? This is pretty much indirectly pressuring someone to do something they are not ready to do yet. Men, if you can't wait, please go the other way and don't waste a woman's precious and valuable time.
DanielCain Posted October 25, 2018 Posted October 25, 2018 I think this society is a strange one. I would NEVER date a man who refuses to date me properly until i sleep with him. Why do men even think this is ok??? And why do some women accept this behaviour? While dating a man, i will sleep with him when i am ready, and if he doesn't value, like and respect me enough to stick around, he needs to go the other way. Why would you claim to LIKE a girl but then treat her as an option because she's not ready to have sex yet?? This is pretty much indirectly pressuring someone to do something they are not ready to do yet. Men, if you can't wait, please go the other way and don't waste a woman's precious and valuable time. It seems like you are arguing with yourself. No one told you to do anything. 1
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