edgygirl Posted October 24, 2018 Posted October 24, 2018 Took a long break from dating so haven't been here this year. Went on a lovely first date with a lawyer in his 40s. Date went great! He said he has tickets for a concert of a band we both love this weekend and invited me. We're texting today back and forth, and he made it very clear he liked me. I liked him too. That's good for a change! He doesn't know yet but I am between jobs and doing a medical treatment and have to be saving right now.In one of the texts, he sent me a pic of the concert tix. Each $100. Do I have to offer to pay mine? He's a partner in a large law firm... and I usually have fancy jobs but am struggling a bit now between jobs. Thoughts?
SunnyWeather Posted October 24, 2018 Posted October 24, 2018 sounds like he's asking you out on another date. relax and enjoy 1
Author edgygirl Posted October 24, 2018 Author Posted October 24, 2018 Thank you SunnyWeather. Isn't it kinda not polite not to offer? sounds like he's asking you out on another date. relax and enjoy
RedHead5 Posted October 24, 2018 Posted October 24, 2018 If he invited you I doubt he expects you to pay him for the ticket. You can offer if it makes you feel better but if you cant pay it may be better to phrase it a little differently just in case.... like I saw how expensive those tickets were and I feel a little guilty or something. Maybe he got them for free anyway, who knows? He had the tickets before he invited you, no?
smackie9 Posted October 24, 2018 Posted October 24, 2018 He doesn't expect you to pay. Not sure why he took a photo...maybe to let you know how serious he is about you...maybe wants to impress you.
preraph Posted October 24, 2018 Posted October 24, 2018 No. Here's what you do. You invite him over to your place for a nice home-cooked meal. It doesn't have to be expensive, just delicious. Have one moderate priced bottle of wine on hand. If you don't know what to buy, go to a wine store and ask a clerk for a great inexpensive wine and tell them what you're cooking to go with it. This is a great way to reciprocate when men spend money on you and they love women who cook. If you don't cook, learn. Anyone can make spaghetti and a salad or put a couple of steaks in an iron skillet and pop two large but not huge potatoes in the oven to bake them 400 degrees for an hour. You could make an easy dessert or pick one up.
Gaeta Posted October 24, 2018 Posted October 24, 2018 No, he invited you. Smile and say Thank you. As a partner in a big firm it's possible he didn't even pay these tickets. All professional firms have concerts and sports tickets purchased by the firm to use or offer. 1
Author edgygirl Posted October 24, 2018 Author Posted October 24, 2018 Thanks everyone! Yeah that's a good idea, and I should learn to cook a proper meal besides my oven salmon & potatoes... cooking is def not my strong suit. I was the small spoiled sibling (unfortunately!), and in the county I was born we had maids, nannies etc who also cooked.
smackie9 Posted October 24, 2018 Posted October 24, 2018 No, he invited you. Smile and say Thank you. As a partner in a big firm it's possible he didn't even pay these tickets. All professional firms have concerts and sports tickets purchased by the firm to use or offer. ya I was thinking the same thing. We get comped Hockey tickets all the time 1
Author edgygirl Posted October 24, 2018 Author Posted October 24, 2018 I don't think these are company tickets although yes I dated lawyers that often got $400 courtesy tickets including a Knicks one where I joined
d0nnivain Posted October 24, 2018 Posted October 24, 2018 If the lawyer wanted you to pay, he would have said so in very clear language. He offered to take you. You accepted. You are not expected to pay. Relax & enjoy. Even though drinks at the concert will be expensive do be prepared to at least pay for 1 round.
Gaeta Posted October 24, 2018 Posted October 24, 2018 Thanks everyone! Yeah that's a good idea, and I should learn to cook a proper meal besides my oven salmon & potatoes... cooking is def not my strong suit. I was the small spoiled sibling (unfortunately!), and in the county I was born we had maids, nannies etc who also cooked. My daughter never wanted me to teach her how to cook so at 30 she panicked when she finally got into a serious relationship. I got her a slow-cooker - you cannot miss a recipe in a slow cooker lol
preraph Posted October 24, 2018 Posted October 24, 2018 Thanks everyone! Yeah that's a good idea, and I should learn to cook a proper meal besides my oven salmon & potatoes... cooking is def not my strong suit. I was the small spoiled sibling (unfortunately!), and in the county I was born we had maids, nannies etc who also cooked. Well, that's fine, and that means you probably appreciate good food. But it's time you learned a few things. Nearly all men like steak and potatoes and sweets or spaghetti and garlic bread and salad.
Artdeco Posted October 24, 2018 Posted October 24, 2018 Relax & enjoy. Even though drinks at the concert will be expensive do be prepared to at least pay for 1 round. This is a very good idea! Just go get drinks and bring him one. Everybody can afford two drinks, and it shows that you appreciate your time together, and that you care and that you’re a considerate person.
olivetree Posted October 25, 2018 Posted October 25, 2018 I guess I'm the odd one out because I would offer to pay.
alphamale Posted October 25, 2018 Posted October 25, 2018 he invited you so you don't have to pay for squat. when you're at the concert offer to buy him a beer or two. or you could pay for parking. or you could give him a bj in the car, whatever you want... 1
Author edgygirl Posted October 29, 2018 Author Posted October 29, 2018 Well alphamale I usually make 6 figures income so I need not yet be on the sex professional category -- but thanks for the suggestion? he invited you so you don't have to pay for squat. when you're at the concert offer to buy him a beer or two. or you could pay for parking. or you could give him a bj in the car, whatever you want...
SunnyWeather Posted October 29, 2018 Posted October 29, 2018 Well alphamale I usually make 6 figures income so I need not yet be on the sex professional category -- but thanks for the suggestion? LOL how'd the date go? 1
Author edgygirl Posted October 29, 2018 Author Posted October 29, 2018 Hey SunnyWeather - I followed your advice and just relaxed and enjoyed! It went super well, so much fun - I really like this guy and I think he likes me Good for a change - I was almost giving up online dating. I offered to get drinks when I went to the washroom just so I didn't look like a cheapstake... I don't even notice prices of things when I'm working, but oh my... at a stadium drinks cost as much as tickets LOL! Again thanks for the good advice - you and everyone! LOL how'd the date go? 1
Purrrfect Posted October 29, 2018 Posted October 29, 2018 He invited you and he’s a lawyer. I don’t think he expects you to pay. I agree either buy a round of drinks or make him dinner. He texted you the tix to invite you not to pay him Have fun
Lotsgoingon Posted October 29, 2018 Posted October 29, 2018 I would say it's fine to offer to pay -- except that you can't afford to ... and it would be misleading and dishonest and self-destructive. Never compromise on your own security ... for a date! I'm a guy who runs into a similar kinda issue when asking women out, because I've been going through expensive dental treatment and an estate case involving my brother who died without a will. I have to be careful to not offer to take people out to places I cannot afford, places that would set me back. And it's insecure, I've learned, to even do this ... and it is misleading as far as telling the other person you're better off than you are or than I am ... So the only way you want to offer to pay ... is to say ... and I'm not recommending this ... but this is the only way to do it that respects your situation ... to say, "I'd like to offer to pay, but I can't pay $100 for a ticket right now." You might find that clumsy, but that's as far as you want to go. Good luck. 1
alphamale Posted October 29, 2018 Posted October 29, 2018 Well alphamale I usually make 6 figures income so I need not yet be on the sex professional category -- but thanks for the suggestion? :lmao:
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