Can't sleep next to anyone

[artnoveau]

I'm note sure where to put it, but it kind of relates to dating, so I'm posting it here.

 

I haven't been in a relationship for three years, but in the last one I just couldn't sleep next to my boyfriend. I'd just doze a bit, but was nowhere near deep and restful sleep. The relationship lasted for six months and we shared a bed for two/three nights a week. So its wasn't just the excitement of a new relationship. (I don't even think I was in love either).

 

And now I like someone again, but have trouble sleeping next to them as well.

I also find it hard when I am just sharing a room, not a bed. (Though it was fine in a ten bed hostel room when I was traveling). Falling asleep is always hard for me, even when I'm alone. But usually I sleep pretty deep once I do.

 

I'm wondering if anybody else has that problem and that maybe someone has some advice.

[Chilli]

Yep , even when l was married we had a 9ft wide bed just for me and even separate doona's , still had trouble sleeping next to w.

And now l have trouble sleeping next to gf.

 

Wish l had an answer . But it's like oh well , looks like l never sleep then , or l go and be single forever and sleep.

[Simple Logic]

Try an over the counter sleep aid such as Tylenol PM, reduce the dosage half. The medications active sleep ingredient is Benadryl.

[smackie9]

Buy one of those sleep masks (a soft cotton one, synthetic material will make yer eyes sweat), and a white noise machine. Have your better half let you go to bed first.

[Gaeta]

I went through the exact same thing when I started dating after years of being single. When I got my first serious boyfriend I could not sleep at all and got exhausted pretty quickly. I bought an over the counter sleep-ezz (something like this) and only this helped me fall in a deep sleep.

[Lotsgoingon]

Basically tell your partner to leave at 3 a.m. or 4 a.m. or whatever.

 

You know hang a little bit after sex ... then let that person go to a different place ... like the sofa ...

 

But own this ... no shame here ... just a quirk of yours.

[David33]

Slept next to a snorer with restless leg syndrome and would jump at the smallest sound or movement which would then wake me up. So, yeah. Been there. Just talk to them about it. If they like you, they'll sleep in another room or just leave. Someone who cares about you wants you to be happy. Happy girlfriend, happy life...or something like that. GL

[snowcones]

I can’t sleep next to anyone either. I have no advice

[smackie9]

I'm one too, insomniac all my life. My husband snores soooooooo bad! lol Now I'm tormented with menopause. I'll be lucky to get 3 hours sleep.

[Chilli]

l nod off into bliss for a few hours, but then as soon as she starts wriggling around , or jumping, that's it l'm pretty well awake for the rest of the night.

 

We have holidays a few nights a week l go sleep in the spare to catch up on sleep.

Only solution l've ever came up with, same with ex w.

Might try some of that over counter stuff.

[carhill]

IMO, do what you need to do to get restful sleep. Lack of that can be a killer.

 

Forex, when I was married, I did fine, even having slept alone for decades, except when my wife snored. Solution? Inserted the earplugs I was used to using in the shop, so were comfortable, and slept fine. Blocked out everything but the smoke alarm.

 

I saw my mom and dad split bedrooms due to his snoring and promised myself I'd never do that when married. My wife tried all the fixes, including nose surgery, but still snored.

 

If you have a hard time falling asleep even when alone, as suggested, get some medical help for that. Sleep is a natural part of human life. It shouldn't be difficult.

[Lorenza]

Same. I hate having less space, hate the sounds other people make when sleeping (snoring is the absolute worst, but I am even bothered by deep breathing) and get nearly murderous thoughts if they wake me up by trying to hug me, pushing me into a corner or doing anything else basically. Without my sleep I'm irritable, angry and tired the next day, so when I get a boyfriend (single right now) I'll make sure to sleep in separate rooms, which is what I'd recommend you as well.

Also, i want to be able to fart as much as I like :D

Sometimes life isn't as cute as movies, where people fall asleep in eavh others arms.

[snowcones]

I tend to think that couples who live together but have mutually agreed to sleep in different rooms have a lacking sex life.

[d0nnivain]

Over time I got more comfortable with DH, in part because we don't try to sleep all curled up together. There is a bit of snuggling, then we separate. For contact, one of us will place a foot on the other's calf but the few inches of space in our queen bed helps. Over the years we have ironically found that a king bed, when we are in a hotel is too much separation.

 

Tell yourself that having your SO there is a good thing rather than a source of stress.

 

Learn about mindfulness & meditation. There are techniques about concentrating on individual body parts from your toes up & releasing all the tension that can help you fall asleep. I'd try those before you resorted to drugs like Tylenol PM.

[stillafool]

I was reading something last week that more couples are choosing to sleep in separate beds (twins) or separate rooms because of sleeping problems. I can fall asleep anywhere but my husband has sleeping problems. I feel so sorry for him.

[Chilli]

Yeah , wouldn't surprise me and believe me we have more fun than ever. Not only do ya get to miss each other a bit but there's lots of middle of the night or good morning surprises and visits and other goodies l can't talk about. :bunny: