Sexy and tough - how does this work??

[Fearless Motivation]

Guten tag.

 

I hope this is the right thread.

 

When it comes to "tough" what I imagine is a guy who can withstand physical pain. A fighter could be a good example. Girls say they like em...

 

Uhm...broken bones(minor fractures), bruises, terribly aching muscles, pain and exhaustion. Constant hunger. Face wrinkled from painful frown. Broken body and sometimes mind too. This is pretty much me every evening, when I am supposed to be "tough". Rest of the day I walk in pain like some old senior.

 

 

Anybody can explain me what is supposed to be sexy on this?? I am really missing the point.

 

Or is "tough" simply leather jacket, sunglasses and motorbike?

 

Thanks

[Fearless Motivation]

It is not a rant. It is a question.

[basil67]

Hi, I saw your question but didn't know how to respond.

 

Thing is, I've never heard the term 'sexy and tough'. Perhaps there's a slightly different translation which may be more familiar to me? Could the word 'masculine' be a reasonable translation instead of 'tough'?

[LauraXX]

I don't really get the question either. But I do agree that the word "tough" has a positive connotation for me. The opposite of a tough personality would probably be a "fragile" personality, and I'd definitely find that less attractive in a guy.

 

 

For me personally, tough doesn't necessarily mean withstanding physical pain though It just means that somebody is strong and stable (physically and mentally).

 

 

 

However, I don't mind if a man is in touch with his sensitive side. Guy I'm currently dating is the (sorry for the clichee) toughest guy I've ever been with (he's into extreme sports and able to do the craziest things), but I've seen him cry several times already (when he told me personal things about his past).

[Fearless Motivation]

Hallo,

 

Thank you for response, allow me to clarify a bit:

 

Tough in physical sense, talking about sheer physique, body language: muscles, cheeck bones , sharp frown... Google some competitive fighter for better idea.

 

When I said tough I had purely personal image in my mind. But maybe you can picture it better.

 

This is my question

 

To give you full disclosure, I am asking because I have an impression this is how I appear to women, before they get to know me. So I ask what is going on here. I do not feel sexy nor impressive.

 

I really don't know.

 

Thanks.

[Fearless Motivation]

I hope I do not sound douchy. I just had cruppy mood so the question bursted out of me.

[ExpatInItaly]

Funny, but "tough" has a very different connotation to me than what you describe, OP.

 

When I think of a tough man, I think of a man who has physical strength, sure, but also composure and a confidence. He isn't someone who would show off his musculature, for example. For me, it has nothing to do with the ability to withstand physical pain or a weathered or punched-up face. Outside the ring, I would probably not recognize a competitive fighter if I saw one. Someone with a massive frown just looks angry to me, not "tough." That just sounds rough, or like Ronnie from Jersey Shore.

 

In my mind, a tough man has physical power but doesn't throw that power around and doesn't lead with his size. He leads with a strong mind, and can handle life's challenges well.

[Fearless Motivation]

Yes, yes, yeees,I know... What you said I agree with but I explained my question. Not gonna repeat it.

[Fearless Motivation]

...I am simply looking forward for upcomming posts saying like show of manliness is ability to cry or confessing gay (we already had cry baby )

 

Gosh I am glad I am Slovak!

[thefooloftheyear]

I think most women just like guys who don't complain about things like being sick, or some other physical/mental setbacks..Although things have changed, most of the women who would be my contemporaries would lose respect for a guy fast if he's the type that is a hypochondriac...I can't say what is considered acceptable for the younger folks, but id imagine those women aren't as judgemental. but I really don't know..

 

TFY

[ExpatInItaly]

Yes, yes, yeees,I know... What you said I agree with but I explained my question. Not gonna repeat it.

 

So - what you are really trying to ask if we women would perceive your "toughness" as attractive, right?

[d0nnivain]

When it comes to "tough" what I imagine is a guy who can withstand physical pain. A fighter could be a good example. Girls say they like em...

 

Uhm...broken bones(minor fractures), bruises, terribly aching muscles, pain and exhaustion. Constant hunger. Face wrinkled from painful frown. Broken body and sometimes mind too. This is pretty much me every evening, when I am supposed to be "tough". Rest of the day I walk in pain like some old senior.

 

 

Anybody can explain me what is supposed to be sexy on this?? I am really missing the point.

 

Or is "tough" simply leather jacket, sunglasses and motorbike?

 

 

Tough has multiple meanings. I can mean somebody who can withstand physical pain. It can me somebody who can emotionally endure. I can be a look, like the leather jacket & sunglasses you describe.

 

 

Not all girls like any given look. Some women may like MMA fighters. Others may prefer more emo guys. Some women like a softer bloke.

 

 

Confidence & being comfortable in your own skin is kind of a universal but no one look will work for all women.

 

 

The key for you will be to find a woman who thinks you are sexy. If you are physically imposing smile more to give a softer more approachable less intimidating initial appearance; show that you are "a gentle giant" .