LoverOfDance Posted October 31, 2018 Posted October 31, 2018 (edited) Lord Jesus, why are you dating a girl and you haven't reached out to her in 4 days?? Like i said before SHE IS NOT WOOING YOU. Also, to be honest, it is possible that her interest is not very strong. If you like her a lot, just carry a little more of the weight for now. It is only the beginning. If you treat her right, her feelings can grow and catch up to yours. I am giving you this advice because you're a guy. Society usually approves and encourages you to chase. If you were a woman, i would tell you to move on. This is because i think many men would not respond well to a woman chasing and wooing them. It might work sometimes and the man's feelings might grow over time but i think that most times this does not happen. When a man is lukewarm, it is usually best to move on, but when a woman is lukewarm, all you need to do is treat her right and make her laugh and smile as much as possible. Over time, she will very likely start to like you more and more. Like i said before, stop worrying and just date her. If this whole situation is bothering you too much, then just move on and find a woman who is easier to date. Edited October 31, 2018 by LoverOfDance
WeaveOne Posted October 31, 2018 Posted October 31, 2018 Dude, she is not going to chase you yet. You haven’t kissed her, which means she hasn’t invested emotionally. Sack up and chase, set up dates with her. Kiss her. Even if the moment isn’t perfect, go for the kiss when you want to. If she is in your company - that’s usually all the sign you need. If for some reason she reacts badly to the kiss, stand your ground. Just say something playful like “I really wanted to kiss you, and I just can’t apologise for that.” Trust me, confidence in your abilities is all you need. Don’t worry about it being perfect, she just needs to feel you wanted to do it.
Zahara Posted October 31, 2018 Posted October 31, 2018 She’s probably not communicating much because she’s thinking you’re not really that interested in her. Plus, she’s not going to invest much emotionally/mentally when things have been moving slowly. Kiss her on your next date. Do it when you see her and don’t wait till the end because your nerves will do you in. I wanted to kiss my boyfriend on the first date but I held off. On the second date, we hugged and greeted each other and I planted one on him. I didn’t want to wait. Apparently, he wanted to kiss me on that first date as well but was stressing too much about how and when to kiss me. It’ll take you to the next phase or not — either way it’ll help you move forward.
Author AussieGuy2018 Posted October 31, 2018 Author Posted October 31, 2018 Lord Jesus, why are you dating a girl and you haven't reached out to her in 4 days?? Like i said before SHE IS NOT WOOING YOU. Also, to be honest, it is possible that her interest is not very strong. If you like her a lot, just carry a little more of the weight for now. It is only the beginning. If you treat her right, her feelings can grow and catch up to yours. I am giving you this advice because you're a guy. Society usually approves and encourages you to chase. If you were a woman, i would tell you to move on. This is because i think many men would not respond well to a woman chasing and wooing them. It might work sometimes and the man's feelings might grow over time but i think that most times this does not happen. When a man is lukewarm, it is usually best to move on, but when a woman is lukewarm, all you need to do is treat her right and make her laugh and smile as much as possible. Over time, she will very likely start to like you more and more. Like i said before, stop worrying and just date her. If this whole situation is bothering you too much, then just move on and find a woman who is easier to date. Thanks for the advice, we spoke on the phone two nights ago...but now I’m just going to text and communicate a bit more and see what the response is like. Definitely need to step up the game and kiss her, will be able to get a better idea following that.
Author AussieGuy2018 Posted October 31, 2018 Author Posted October 31, 2018 Dude, she is not going to chase you yet. You haven’t kissed her, which means she hasn’t invested emotionally. Sack up and chase, set up dates with her. Kiss her. Even if the moment isn’t perfect, go for the kiss when you want to. If she is in your company - that’s usually all the sign you need. If for some reason she reacts badly to the kiss, stand your ground. Just say something playful like “I really wanted to kiss you, and I just can’t apologise for that.” Trust me, confidence in your abilities is all you need. Don’t worry about it being perfect, she just needs to feel you wanted to do it. Thank you! This is exactly what I’m going to do, seeing her tomorrow and will see how it goes. Will get a better idea about all of this after tomorrow night.
Author AussieGuy2018 Posted October 31, 2018 Author Posted October 31, 2018 She’s probably not communicating much because she’s thinking you’re not really that interested in her. Plus, she’s not going to invest much emotionally/mentally when things have been moving slowly. Kiss her on your next date. Do it when you see her and don’t wait till the end because your nerves will do you in. I wanted to kiss my boyfriend on the first date but I held off. On the second date, we hugged and greeted each other and I planted one on him. I didn’t want to wait. Apparently, he wanted to kiss me on that first date as well but was stressing too much about how and when to kiss me. It’ll take you to the next phase or not — either way it’ll help you move forward. Great advice thanks! I had my chance last date and let it slide, so can’t make the same mistake again...the communication has been a little different since that night, but hoping I can turn it around
Author AussieGuy2018 Posted October 31, 2018 Author Posted October 31, 2018 Update...she cancelled tomorrow’s date saying “although You’re really nice and it’s been good getting to know, I don’t think it’s moving forward in that way and I don’t want to waste your time etc etc” I clearly stuffed it up...lesson learned
LoverOfDance Posted October 31, 2018 Posted October 31, 2018 Sorry to hear. Definitely most important to take and learn something from the experience.
sabaton Posted October 31, 2018 Posted October 31, 2018 If a girl is playing hard to get, it's because she's not all that attracted to you. She's ''easy'' for the guy she really wants. So, move on from this girl and go meet girls that don't play games, that don't make you wait, and that aren't lukewarm about their interest in you. EDIT: See? She wasn't interested at all. When a girl wants you she is not going to let other girls get you by making herself hard to get.
Author AussieGuy2018 Posted October 31, 2018 Author Posted October 31, 2018 I think she was interested at one point based on our dates and convos, but I probably didn’t show enough from my side in advancing it and she obviously didn’t see it going anywhere? Or she simply wasn’t interested at all, pretty confused
WeaveOne Posted October 31, 2018 Posted October 31, 2018 Sorry this happened man. I would say she was never playing hard to get, some girls just enjoy guys leading in the beginning. Courting her, setting up dates etc. what you interpreted as hard to get was just her waiting for you to make some moves regarding dates/ contact and that kiss. I know it’s not feminist to say, but women do like being wooed. Next time, maybe go for a woman who is more assertive, who is more likely to be obvious. If you don’t like the chase and setting up dates etc. also next time if a girl hangs around in your car, kiss her lol. She’s waiting for it. Remember, if she has agreed to be in your company you’re more than likely already in.
sabaton Posted October 31, 2018 Posted October 31, 2018 I think she was interested at one point based on our dates and convos, but I probably didn’t show enough from my side in advancing it and she obviously didn’t see it going anywhere? Or she simply wasn’t interested at all, pretty confused Nah. There's lots of girls that lead a guy on because they are interested in the attention they're getting from him. Lots of girls out there who need a fix, more validation that they are attractive to men. If she was attracted to you she would have made a move.
LoverOfDance Posted November 1, 2018 Posted November 1, 2018 Sabaton, you sound JADED. I don't think your advice applies here. Op, it doesn't matter what her thoughts about you were. This is in the past now. Don't focus on the wrong things. You are now aware of your weaknesses. Focus on growing from this and hopefully turning your weaknesses into strengths. Focus on having more confidence in yourself and going for what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you. You can grow from this or you can just take the super easy way out and look for a woman who wants to chase and woo while you sit back and watch her work. There is also a chance that you could find a woman who right off the bat likes you just as much as you like her so she might put in just as much effort as you in the beginning. The thing is, sometimes even if you find this woman who has just as much interest as you, she might still sit back and observe you because a lot of women want to be wooed. My advice is - just work on yourself and learn how to really date a woman properly. When you like a woman and she seems to like you back (no matter how little her interest maybe), just go for it. Women LOVE confident men. Even if you don't know what you're doing, act like you do.
Author AussieGuy2018 Posted November 1, 2018 Author Posted November 1, 2018 Sorry this happened man. I would say she was never playing hard to get, some girls just enjoy guys leading in the beginning. Courting her, setting up dates etc. what you interpreted as hard to get was just her waiting for you to make some moves regarding dates/ contact and that kiss. I know it’s not feminist to say, but women do like being wooed. Next time, maybe go for a woman who is more assertive, who is more likely to be obvious. If you don’t like the chase and setting up dates etc. also next time if a girl hangs around in your car, kiss her lol. She’s waiting for it. Remember, if she has agreed to be in your company you’re more than likely already in. Thanks!! I’m a little relieved to be honest, I always found her hard to read and stressed about it and now I don’t have to. She just text me again saying “I just want you to know you didn’t do anything wrong, I just wasn’t feeling it”...her words and in person would suggest the opposite, but her interest waned pretty quickly in the end I think.
Author AussieGuy2018 Posted November 1, 2018 Author Posted November 1, 2018 Sabaton, you sound JADED. I don't think your advice applies here. Op, it doesn't matter what her thoughts about you were. This is in the past now. Don't focus on the wrong things. You are now aware of your weaknesses. Focus on growing from this and hopefully turning your weaknesses into strengths. Focus on having more confidence in yourself and going for what you want instead of waiting for it to come to you. You can grow from this or you can just take the super easy way out and look for a woman who wants to chase and woo while you sit back and watch her work. There is also a chance that you could find a woman who right off the bat likes you just as much as you like her so she might put in just as much effort as you in the beginning. The thing is, sometimes even if you find this woman who has just as much interest as you, she might still sit back and observe you because a lot of women want to be wooed. My advice is - just work on yourself and learn how to really date a woman properly. When you like a woman and she seems to like you back (no matter how little her interest maybe), just go for it. Women LOVE confident men. Even if you don't know what you're doing, act like you do. Thanks LOD...I’ve learnt a bit after this experience. I came out of a long term relationship last year, so dating has been difficult. It’s the third time this year I’ve gotten to the 5-6 week mark with someone and they’ve walked away for similar reasons around then being unsure how I felt and wasn’t forward enough. Learn from this and take it into the next one.
sabaton Posted November 1, 2018 Posted November 1, 2018 Sabaton, you sound JADED. I don't think your advice applies here.I sound jaded? How come? I said that many women, not most women lead men on because they enjoy the attention the get from those men. The validation that they're attractive, because no matter how attractive many women are - they still feel that they are unattractive. Personal examples how there are many women who lead men on for the sake of getting validation: Girl 1) Met her in college. Same undergraduate degree. She sees me, checks me out, and smiles at me. A couple days later, I enter the campus coffee shop and she's there with classmates of ours, she sees me and calls me to go up to her and to sit next to her, which I do. She starts pulling her dress up to scratch her leg, not wearing any leggings, and the dress is getting higher and higher, allowing me a full view of her leg + thong waistband string. As she's doing that, she's smiling at me. Another day, I'm waiting in line for the elevator to arrive to my floor, and she gets behind me and even though there was a lot of free, ample space, she gets behind me and rubs her boobs against my back. And there were many other episodes like this one between us. Now, would most people assume that she wanted to sleep with me? Yeah, one day she asks me to go somewhere with her, asks me if I like her and then she tells me that she had a boyfriend. 1) She wasn't interested in having sex with me. 2)She had a boyfriend. So why all of this? Because she enjoyed the attention and the validation of being desired. Even though she was considered to be convetionally very attractive, she was still leading guys on with the clear intent to feed her ego and self-esteem. 2) Second girl. This girl was absolutely gorgeous and she had an amazing body. I grew up with her, childhood friend that I tended to mostly avoid being near because everytime she'd see me she'd start teasing me sexually, and visually. Twerking with her mother while looking at me. Calling me to come to her room after I had left it while she was changing clothes so she and I and her brother could go out to party, and when I was entering the room she was waiting for me with her butt in my direction, her pants pulled down and her butt exposed with a G-string on. Or, another day her brother asked me to help carry some of the furniture out of her room, and while she's tidying up her 8 inch long dildo makes an apperance on her bed, probably from being used the night before, she sees me looking at it and asks me how big my own penis is with a smug smile on her lips. Now try being 18 and having an absolutely stunning girl teasing you and provoking you every time you visit her brother. Which is why I would always tell the guy to meet me at the coffee shop instead lol. That was 11 years ago, and I still get blue balls thinking about it. There LOTS of teases out there. Most are not as extreme as these 2 girls are, but many, many women are going out on dates with men they have absolutely no interest in having sex with, but they feel lonely, or they have self-esteem issues, or they just want the pleasure of having guys attracted to them and interested in them. Which is why, and for other reasons, men shouldn't pay for dates.
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