AussieGuy2018 Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 Ahhhh dating is hard... Met this girl on Bumble and we chatted for two weeks before catching up for a drink. I wasn’t overly sure if she was interested or not, the drinks went fine and I sent her a thank you text the next day and she replied “I’m looking forward to next time”...which kinda surprised me. Anyways we texted infrequently over the next 3-4 days and I said “let’s catch up next week”, she suggested Wednesday. We didn’t text at all in the days leading up to Wednesday and then she text around lunchtime asking if I was still keen. She offered to pick me up as my place was on the way to the restaurant...date went okay again, had a good chat for 2.5 hours with a little bit of banter and she dropped me home. Didn’t kiss her as I didn’t want the first kiss to be in the car (not sure if that’s silly or not). We continued to text infrequently over the next few days and I was a bit tipsy out one night and text her to see if she wanted to catch up again and mentioned that I find her really hard to read. She said “no, I’m keen to see you again”...so we decided on the following Wednesday. She cancelled on the day because of something happening with her family, but she mentioned that she was free any night next week and for me to pick. So we have loosely organised this coming Thursday, but haven’t really heard from her for 3-4 days. Whenever I text her, she replies and asks questions etc, but she very rarely texts first...I find her really hard to read in person and she hasn’t really given any indication she’s keen in person. She’s mentioned that she’s not shy in general, but there are times when we’ve hung out and I have to carry the conversation and it can kinda be hard work. I don’t know if she’s playing hard to get or just not interested, but I’ve been expecting her to say no, when being asked on a date or her ghosting me when I text her...but she hasn’t. Problem is I actually quite like her, I’m attracred to her, we like the same music and sports and there’s a little banter, more so on text though. I’m thinking I see her Thursday and if I can’t get a read on her, then I’ll just forget it and move on. Probably more so from the girls on here, is she playing hard to get? What do I do? Try and kiss her and see what happens? Or leave the ball in her court post the next date? Cheers!
LoverOfDance Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 Try and kiss her and see what happens. PS. When a guy sits around and waits for me to text first, i usually assume he is not very interested. You are the one wooing her. She's not wooing you. Be confident and just WOO (couldn't find a better word). Reach out if you feel like it. Stop waiting for her to take action first. Have you done some thoughtful things for her like i suggested before? If things don't work out with this girl, please try to be more confident with the next one. You seem a little unsure of yourself. If she is saying yes to dates, then she is interested (at the moment at least). Except if she just wants a free meal. I don't think that's the situation here though.
Author AussieGuy2018 Posted October 22, 2018 Author Posted October 22, 2018 Try and kiss her and see what happens. PS. When a guy sits around and waits for me to text first, i usually assume he is not very interested. You are the one wooing her. She's not wooing you. Be confident and just WOO (couldn't find a better word). Reach out if you feel like it. Stop waiting for her to take action first. Have you done some thoughtful things for her like i suggested before? If things don't work out with this girl, please try to be more confident with the next one. You seem a little unsure of yourself. If she is saying yes to dates, then she is interested (at the moment at least). Except if she just wants a free meal. I don't think that's the situation here though. Thanks LOD! I have no problem texting first and she always replies, but feel after 3-4 weeks that I’d get a little more from her... The restaurant we were going to specialises in wine and cheese and these are her two favourite things, followed by an activity, unfortunately she had to cancel but I hope that showed I listen to her and willing to take her to nice places etc. She paid for our second date and refused when I said I wanted to pay because I paid for everything on the first date. If we still catch up Thursday, we are going to go ice skating and a nice restaurant, so I’m going to make the first move and kiss her and see how she responds.
Grey40 Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 Hard to tell, but it’s definitley not playing hard to get. Playing hard to get would be her just taking a longer time to get back to you and what not. You Definitley have to try and make a physical move. She might be waiting for you to do so. Not all women show physical signs until the guy takes the initiative (they don’t want to get shot down either). Definitely do not admit your feelings or ask her if she’s feeling it or even telling her she’s hard to read. For whatever reason that stuff always turns women off. They like a little bit of a chase in the very beginning stages. Just plan the next date and try to make a move and you’ll find out. 1
damni Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 Well you are the man and meant to be chasing HER. I rarely initiate texts to men I am dating, I want to see their level of interest. The men who wait for my texts are few and far between and usually beta males who I would not be interested in anyway. You are acting like a female, waiting around for her texts, letting her pick you up for the second date and letting her pay. I would have next you by now for the poor communication. 1
MaleIntuition Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 Definitely not playing hard to get. “Let’s do it again some time” was your clue to arrange the second date. And speaking about date arrangement; try to be a bit more assertive. Specific activity, at a specific time. When you ask to hangout or catch up it can be a bit confusing for some girls. Texting inbetween dates is one of these topics without any clear answers. Early on, if you have a date booked, you really don’t need to text much in my opinion, if anything at all. Of course it gets more complex when you add social media, such as snapchat, to the mix. 1
crismero Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 You definitely should cross the longest 2 inches in the world that are between her mouth and yours! It happened about 10yrs ago. I was dating a woman that I fell into friendzone with, and later she confessed that she was put off that I didn't make that little move. And in hindsight I know I was constantly thinking - should I? should I?
RedHead5 Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 I would be concerned after two dates and no kiss. I would think that you weren't interested in me. I always let the man initiate the texts in the beginning. somewhere along the line I will start occasionally initiating texts just to show my level of Interest. If she is replying fairly quickly, like not 12 hours later or something, she is probably interested. If she goes out with you again try to kiss her at the end of the date. if you don't want to kiss her in a car then get out of the car and walk her to her door.
Author AussieGuy2018 Posted October 25, 2018 Author Posted October 25, 2018 Thank you all for your thoughts. Update...we had our next date and we went and did an activity instead of dinner and I thought it went really well, but there was no opportunity for a kiss...it was basically all I could think about the whole date and felt the pressure of it building. I dropped her off and she mentioned she had a great time and speak soon and there was a slight silence and she wasn’t leaving the car, this was my opportunity (I think) and I completely missed it and she leaned over and we kissed on the cheek. I really like this girl and that’s why I’ve kinda gone into my shell and a bit shy and now I’m really worried that I’ve stuffed this up!! Without knowing what she’s thinking post date, how can I salvage this...I was planning on texting her tomorrow saying I had a great time, hope you did too and would love to see you again! Any help here would be greatly appreciated before it’s too late! Thank you!
Author AussieGuy2018 Posted October 25, 2018 Author Posted October 25, 2018 Since I planned the whole date night, picked her up and dropped her off and paid for everything (which I was absolutely more than happy to do), should I wait to see if she sends a follow up text tomorrow and then I’ll know if she’s still interested? Really confused on what do to next...
Author AussieGuy2018 Posted October 25, 2018 Author Posted October 25, 2018 You definitely should cross the longest 2 inches in the world that are between her mouth and yours! It happened about 10yrs ago. I was dating a woman that I fell into friendzone with, and later she confessed that she was put off that I didn't make that little move. And in hindsight I know I was constantly thinking - should I? should I? Update...we had our next date and we went and did an activity instead of dinner and I thought it went really well, but there was no opportunity for a kiss...it was basically all I could think about the whole date and felt the pressure of it building. I dropped her off and she mentioned she had a great time and speak soon and there was a slight silence and she wasn’t leaving the car, this was my opportunity (I think) and I completely missed it and she leaned over and we kissed on the cheek. I really like this girl and that’s why I’ve kinda gone into my shell and a bit shy and now I’m really worried that I’ve stuffed this up!! Without knowing what she’s thinking post date, how can I salvage this...I was planning on texting her tomorrow saying I had a great time, hope you did too and would love to see you again! Any help here would be greatly appreciated before it’s too late! Thank you!
Author AussieGuy2018 Posted October 25, 2018 Author Posted October 25, 2018 You definitely should cross the longest 2 inches in the world that are between her mouth and yours! It happened about 10yrs ago. I was dating a woman that I fell into friendzone with, and later she confessed that she was put off that I didn't make that little move. And in hindsight I know I was constantly thinking - should I? should I? Since I planned the whole date night, picked her up and dropped her off and paid for everything (which I was absolutely more than happy to do), should I wait to see if she sends a follow up text tomorrow and then I’ll know if she’s still interested? Really confused on what do to next...
introverted1 Posted October 25, 2018 Posted October 25, 2018 Urg. She's on here somewhere posting "I went out with this guy three times. I keep telling him I want to see him again and he does ask me out but he never seems to want to kiss me. This last time I deliberately sat in the car to give him a chance to lean in for the kiss and he didn't! Do you think he is attracted me or does he just see me as a friend?" Dude! Contact her. Make a plan. And then KISS Her. You can kiss at the start of the date, too, you know. 1
kendahke Posted October 25, 2018 Posted October 25, 2018 Really confused on what do to next... You need to find the stones to kiss her and until you find some, this is going to devolve into a miscommunicated mess.
LoverOfDance Posted October 25, 2018 Posted October 25, 2018 What Introvert1 said. When i went out on the first date with my boyfriend, after the date, I gave him a hug and then kissed him on the lips right after. It's really not hard. Just hug her and go in for the kiss. If she pulls back then ask her what's wrong? Her reply will tell you if she's into you or not. Hopefully she agrees to another date. You can do this.
Author AussieGuy2018 Posted October 25, 2018 Author Posted October 25, 2018 Urg. She's on here somewhere posting "I went out with this guy three times. I keep telling him I want to see him again and he does ask me out but he never seems to want to kiss me. This last time I deliberately sat in the car to give him a chance to lean in for the kiss and he didn't! Do you think he is attracted me or does he just see me as a friend?" Dude! Contact her. Make a plan. And then KISS Her. You can kiss at the start of the date, too, you know. Cheers! I’ll send her a text today saying something like I had a really great time and would love to see you again etc...hopefully I get the chance and I haven’t completely turned her off! 1
Author AussieGuy2018 Posted October 25, 2018 Author Posted October 25, 2018 What Introvert1 said. When i went out on the first date with my boyfriend, after the date, I gave him a hug and then kissed him on the lips right after. It's really not hard. Just hug her and go in for the kiss. If she pulls back then ask her what's wrong? Her reply will tell you if she's into you or not. Hopefully she agrees to another date. You can do this. It’s the stupid introvert coming out in me!! I know once it happens that side of me goes away. Hopefully I get the chance, I will contact her and see if I get a response. Thank you!
Stopme Posted October 26, 2018 Posted October 26, 2018 Definitely need to kiss, she probably thinks you're not into her and thinks you have put her in the friend zone.
Author AussieGuy2018 Posted October 29, 2018 Author Posted October 29, 2018 Hey everyone...again! So we are catching up again for a 4th date later this week, so it’s now or never for this kiss and see how it goes and where it leads to. She comes across as keen in person and in her replies over text, but I’ve got something that slightly annoys me. It’s been six weeks since we met...only 4 dates because she went away and I was sick for a week and we’ve been sticking to one date a week...but she never initiates contact with text or calling. Whenever I text her, her replies are enthusiastic and she asks questions back and I called her the other night while I was driving and we had a good chat for half an hour. Over the six weeks, she’s initiated contact probably 3 times and I’m always the one to text or call...I’m not sure if that’s just her or she expects that from guys, but I thought by now the initiation of contact might be a little higher? Girls I’ve dated in the past haven’t been like this, so maybe my expectation is different? Look things might be different once we kiss and things get to the next stage, but I’m just not used to it moving this slowly. Should I just accept that this is the frequency she communicates at or just see how this week plays out? Our next date is four days away, so I’m thinking I’m not going to contact her until the day to confirm where we are going? It’s a bit like a roller coaster, I think she’s interested when we chat and see each other and then I think she’s not interested because we’ll go 3-4 days of no contact?
lovelymay Posted October 29, 2018 Posted October 29, 2018 Try harder. If you wait 3-4 days she probably is also waiting for YOU to text her and maybe she doesn't want to leave an impression of her being needy? I also have this with a guy. He sometimes doesn't initiate text until 48-72 hours!! It doesn't mean I'm not interested in him or playing hard to get, but if a guy lets me wait so long then I start to think that he is just not into me...
LoverOfDance Posted October 29, 2018 Posted October 29, 2018 I think you should go ahead and kiss her first and then see if things change. Maybe right now, she's not quite sure what you two are doing. Kissing her should push things forward a bit and show her that you like her romantically. If you haven't, maybe you should both also discuss what you're looking for. If you are both on the same page then i think maybe she'll hopefully start putting in more effort. She might not initiate more but i think she will put in more effort in some way if she likes you and KNOWS that you want the same things as her. I think you should kiss her first though and then have the discussion about what you are both looking for.
Author AussieGuy2018 Posted October 30, 2018 Author Posted October 30, 2018 I think you should go ahead and kiss her first and then see if things change. Maybe right now, she's not quite sure what you two are doing. Kissing her should push things forward a bit and show her that you like her romantically. If you haven't, maybe you should both also discuss what you're looking for. If you are both on the same page then i think maybe she'll hopefully start putting in more effort. She might not initiate more but i think she will put in more effort in some way if she likes you and KNOWS that you want the same things as her. I think you should kiss her first though and then have the discussion about what you are both looking for. I definitely think that kissing will let both of us know either way how to proceed and then make a decision to continue on or not, based on her effort. I don’t mind chasing at all, but six weeks later and I can’t see much change in effort or at least giving me something a little more.
Author AussieGuy2018 Posted October 30, 2018 Author Posted October 30, 2018 This is starting to really get to me, besides my one phone call there’s hasnt been any communication for 4 days...which since we met, communication seems to be getting less and less and I see she has been active on Bumble...I really have no idea what to do?! I had a sports final on tonight, which she knew about and never received a good luck or how’d you go message...if it was the other way around I would’ve sent something. We were supposed to go to a concert together next week and it’s been cancelled, she never mentioned it at all that it was cancelled until I called her and mentioned it...to me, it’s behaviour that is showing no interest or interest wanning.
Malin889 Posted October 30, 2018 Posted October 30, 2018 She’s interested. Kiss her next time - do it at the beginning of the date. Don’t wait until the end - you’ll be too anxious the whole date and she’ll be wondering too.
Author AussieGuy2018 Posted October 30, 2018 Author Posted October 30, 2018 It’s just starting to get very annoying when I seem to be putting in the effort and feel like not much is coming back? She did mention on our first date that she stopped talking to a guy because he was bad on the follow up? So who knows really...I’ve neber dated someone that is so hard to read?
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