Jones19 Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 Some members may remember my posts from the past but anyhow. I got back with the ex Girlfriend after she finished me for good reasons with things going on in her life i learned to cope with it all and moved on and by luck i found someone else and started dating her who i really liked aswell and got on well with. When this started i got text after text and email's from my ex saying we should be together i love you. In the end i had a good think about it and decided that i still loved my ex and got back with her. Everything was great i went on holiday at the start of August and i made sure i kept in touch with her and everything like that. When i got back we was bearly apart we was happy and she said i love you all the time and all of that and we talked about the future. But over the past two weeks she as been acting in her funny ways again she hardly talks about us and when where together she is always distant and getting a kiss is like asking for the world i say whats wrong with you and she gets wound up and says nothing stop asking and been paranoid. I think to myself well the last time you acted like this we broke up. I never get phone calls anymore and its always me going out of my way to see her and plus all next week my parents are away and so are hers. But she said the other night my mate is stopping all next week,so it left me thinking I'm right she doesn't want to be with me. I'm fed up i gave everything up just to give us another chance and she starts acting all moody and cold round me again. Sometimes i think its me been paranoid i know it ain't but she as me thinking that. What should i do shall i talk to her (even tho she won't talk) or just finish it i love her to bits and it would break my heart yet again just to end it all but i don't know how to take it all is she just been moody is it because she is a bit poorly with cold or doesn't she want to be with me. Or should i just give it a week and see if things improve! Please help!! Cheers mind the spelling
bluechocolate Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 What should i do shall i talk to her (even tho she won't talk) Talking doesn't seem to be an option then. It's obvious she is not ready to have a relationship with you again. This is not the behaviour of somebody who wants to give it a second chance & work through the problems in order to strengthen your relationship. You're a convenient emotional crutch to her right now. Nothing more. I think to myself well the last time you acted like this we broke up. Spot on. You are not being paranoid. I wouldn't go so far as to say that you're flogging a dead horse, but I do think you should just finish it for the foreseeable future.
betterwife Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 Yep I agree that you should end the relationship by email or text message since she doesn't want to talk to you. If she really loves you, she wouldn't be acting this way. She's using you like an object. It seems that she could place anywhere she wants to. It's time for you to take control and end the relationship before you hurt yourself emotional, physically, or spiritually. When you do break up with her, she will most likely blow up your phone and email again. People always want something that they can't have. Plus she be afraid of another woman being with you because you are a good man. For some reasons she doesn't want a good guy in her life right now. Whenever you do don't repeat the cycle MOVE ON! It seems like you are a good guy, but you have to toughen up a little. Put your foot down. It might take time to get over her. But, there's alot of women that are waiting for you that can treat you better than she can.
Merin Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 My take is the Moody/Cold deal is WHO she is... you said her behaviour is what had broke the two of you up before (along with other things) but I'm saying if this is WHO she was when the relationship ended the first time, IMO this is STILL who she is and because you made that okay for her to behave in this manner before and still stayed there she cannot see that she needs to change. Unless you can live with who she is ie; being cold and distant or often moody then honestly it probably is the best thing at this point to end the relationship on YOUR TERMS... it doesn't mean you have to be a jerk about ending it but let her know that what she is giving you isn't enough and you cannot live with things as they are. Hang in there
fundamental Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 My take is the Moody/Cold deal is WHO she is... you said her behaviour is what had broke the two of you up before (along with other things) but I'm saying if this is WHO she was when the relationship ended the first time, IMO this is STILL who she is and because you made that okay for her to behave in this manner before and still stayed there she cannot see that she needs to change. Unless you can live with who she is ie; being cold and distant or often moody then honestly it probably is the best thing at this point to end the relationship on YOUR TERMS... it doesn't mean you have to be a jerk about ending it but let her know that what she is giving you isn't enough and you cannot live with things as they are. Hang in there I agree with Merin. This also sounds like my x. She also seems to be testing her seduction skills on you!
Author Jones19 Posted September 13, 2005 Author Posted September 13, 2005 Well i didn't finish her i decided to leave her alone for a few days. We went out to watch my local football team play on Saturday with her but she wouldn't hold my hand or anything at the game. After this i left her alone and i didn't hear from her so Yesterday i sent her a text saying look we need to talk so she said yes we do. I said why you doing this to us again you wnated all of this now your pulling out again just as we gte close. She sent a message back saying look ive been thinking over the past couple of weeks and ive decided im moving down London which is about 300 miles away from Leeds and i don't want to commit to you because of this. So i was so pissed off i gave up someone else for her who i dated and i went on Holiday with my mates and didn't do anything because i loved her that much it ruined it in a way. So i sent a text back saying we could at least talk just because you moving away doesn't mean the end of us can't we at least talk about it. So she agreed im going to see her in a few hours im going to ask her loads of questions on why she hurts me all the time after all she wanted this relationship again. I love her and i wouldn't even speak to her again if i didn't but if she says it won't work her been so far away. Im just going to say if your in love anything can work but clearly you aint and im gonna walk away and never speak to her or contact her again. I just don't get it one week she is all over me then the next she makes herself busy to forget about me and doesn't wanna know me. Its like when we was on holiday i spoke to her on the phone and she was crying saying i miss you and don't like been apart from you then we go out for her birthday a really special night we plan out future the day after she goes all quiet around me. I often think why as she messed with my head so much i just don't get her anymore sorry for going on just needed to say it.
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