markedsoldier Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 I love her with all my heart. I've never loved anyone this much. She loves me too, but I think she only loves part of me. The thing is, she will get upset with me for seemingly (to me and everyone else around) no reason at all, and say that she's hurt because I've been 'snapping at her all day'. But the thing is, I can't remember anything like that. I have no idea what she's talking about. It seems that certain things I say she takes as snapping at her, when I don't mean them offensively at all, and she says she tells me about them when they happen but I can't remember any of them by the time she gets mad. I think it might be that when I'm in a good mood I am overly sweet to her because I love her so much, but when I am doing something else or trying to think, I say things to her like I would say them to any other person on the planet and she sees another person in my words than the person she knows. It's like I'm two different people and I didn't even know it. Before you guys go all 'well shes a psycho bitch whos just trying to cause drama', just know that there is something in this about me that I just don't trust. I have constant memory loss about all kinds of events in my life to the point where I just remember the feelings I had at that time, and little things about what went on (enough to get me by normally) but I don't really remember the sequence of events that actually happened or what I said or did. I know I'm not schizophrenic, because I don't completely black out, but I'm starting to think this is really my fault. I think she is a little too sensitive sometimes, but maybe she's not. Maybe I'm just an a**h*** and I don't even know it. I don't want this post to be too long considering I'm not even registered on here and none of you know me, but I really need help with this. I don't want to lose her and I want to make sure she loves me and not just the me she sees when I'm with her. Please help me.
bluechocolate Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 ...and she says she tells me about them when they happen but I can't remember any of them by the time she gets mad. .....but I'm starting to think this is really my fault. This sounds very strange to me. Have you had this problem with other relationships? I have constant memory loss about all kinds of events in my life to the point where I just remember the feelings I had at that time, and little things about what went on (enough to get me by normally) but I don't really remember the sequence of events that actually happened or what I said or did. This should also manifest in other areas of your life, not just your dealings with her. If that is the case then I don't think anybody here can help you. It is something which will require professional analysis & guidance to find out what's going on - from why it's happening to how to deal with it.
Merin Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 My take is your GF is overly sensitive/emotional... regardless... why not have a conversation with her about this when she ISN'T upset and you can give her all your focus... explain to her that you would never intentionally snap out at her and if in her mind you have done so that you're sorry... however ask that when she is feeling that way that she tell you about it when it's happening so that you can recognize what it is in her mind she's seeing.... Hang in there
d'Arthez Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 The thing is, she will get upset with me for seemingly (to me and everyone else around) no reason at all, and say that she's hurt because I've been 'snapping at her all day'. If she lays the blame for something on you, it in no way implies that you are the one who is at fault. She seems to be very sensitive, and very demanding of your attention. Well, newsflash: the world does not revolve around her. It's like I'm two different people and I didn't even know it. Before you guys go all 'well shes a psycho bitch whos just trying to cause drama', just know that there is something in this about me that I just don't trust. I have constant memory loss about all kinds of events in my life to the point where I just remember the feelings I had at that time, and little things about what went on (enough to get me by normally) but I don't really remember the sequence of events that actually happened or what I said or did. I know I'm not schizophrenic, because I don't completely black out, but I'm starting to think this is really my fault. I don't think it is the memory loss issue, that is giving rise to the problems, although it cannot be excluded. If I want to remember when this or that event took place, I need to make a few associations, with things that are related to the particular thing. Some people seem to do that by the emotional charge, others by factual nature. Either way, there is nothing wrong with either method. And you can't constantly remember everything. Do you remember exactly which sock you put on first this morning? And not out of habit, but consciously recall? I doubt it. I think she is a little too sensitive sometimes, but maybe she's not. Maybe I'm just an a**h*** and I don't even know it. I don't want this post to be too long considering I'm not even registered on here and none of you know me, but I really need help with this. I don't want to lose her and I want to make sure she loves me and not just the me she sees when I'm with her. Please help me. The sensitivity issue she hasis definitely there. It may be that she demands all the attention she can get. The problem seems, that she only wants the you she sees, when you are with her. But of course, you have a life too. You need to study, work, and fulfill your obligations too. That will give rise to numerous conflicts, unless the two of you start to address the issues. I am not too certain about the memory issue. You cannot remember all. The fact that you are putting a lot of blame on yourself should be a worrying sign - did you do the same thing in your other relationships? The fact that you are so distressed about this, proves that you are not an a**h***. Talk with her, about the issues, when she is not upset. Be calm, and explain just as Merin adviced. If that does not work, you might want to look at other options. It is not (just) you, but her as well. And of course, the whole dynamic of the relationship plays an important part in creating the situation, and keeping it in existence.
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