dream of me Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 If he loves his job and works hard, that does it for me. And that he's not resentful of other people's success. I'm with a very hard worker at the moment, and I admire him very much.
dispatch3d Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 I'm ambitious and it never really got me anywhere. Although everyone says they're ambitious, I don't see a whole lot of follow through.
alphamale Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 I'm ambitious and it never really got me anywhere. Although everyone says they're ambitious, I don't see a whole lot of follow through. I see tons of 'ambitious' people everywhere...doesn't mean they are successful. Actually I see some people who are not ambitious at all and they are living high on the hog. 1
MountainGirl111 Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 (edited) I've known of all sorts of ambitious men who were not all that happy, nor were their GF's or wives. It just depends. If two people are happy keeping company with one another in a simple format, that's a better barometer than traditional ambition. By "ambition", what do you mean, OP? I know people who are ambitious in some areas of life, but not in others. Same with men. A man could make a huge salary in life, but as far as mental / physical health are not very ambitious at all. Sure, many women go for the money, but if his health takes a nosedive because he isn't ambitious about his health, that can suck the money down the drain very quickly. So, really, us women need to fend for ourselves and not expect a man to do that for us. In other words: don't just depend on a man. However, IF you are with a man that is also ambitious and you're happy with one another, isn't that what really counts? The bottom line is: Would you, could you really be happy with them? Edited October 22, 2018 by MountainGirl111
losangelena Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 Regarding bartenders, there's a guy at Musso & Frank's in Hollywood who's been behind the bar since 1967, so ... As far as ambitious guys are concerned, I don't equate ambition with earning potential. Not only can doctors and lawyers work long hours, I feel like sometimes a very earnings-driven man (hello, Wall Street bankers) can have questionable morals. Does a guy enjoy his life's work? Does he seek to continue to grow his competencies and keep learning? That's attractive. 1
MountainGirl111 Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 I see tons of 'ambitious' people everywhere...doesn't mean they are successful. Actually I see some people who are not ambitious at all and they are living high on the hog. this^^^^ "High on the hog" is something my parents would mention from time to time....meaning, they were AGAINST it *sigh*. Boy did I get a lecture or two. Well, anyways: I think it all depends on what/how a person is ambitious with or for....right? Like, I know many wonderfully talented musicians out there who pretty much eat, live and sleep in their music...it's their life's ambition...they really couldn't care less about the money....all they care about it the music and the QUALITY of the music....they might even be a "starving artist", right? But as long as they can stay in their art doing what they love, they're happy folks. Then we have the folks who consider numbers of dollars who can't pick a lick on anything who WISH they could....why? Because they see how happy the musicians really are....and they wish they were like that too. But, they chose a different path...a path of numbers and bottom lines and calculation....if they only knew how closely music is to math.... So, here's the deal. You can't do it all. You simply can't. You've got to find out what areas in life you want to be ambitious in and go for it.
ElKay Posted October 23, 2018 Posted October 23, 2018 I've been with two guys that had no careers, nor success. While I had cared about them nonetheless, they felt bad that I was so successful while they were struggling. After them, I am now dating someone with a stable successful career and am very happy. He has no self-esteem issues because of his place in life, so this isn't causing strain on the relationship. So yes, women might prefer ambitious men because the non-ambitious one have a tendency of being self-conscious or depressed because of it. Not all of them, of course, but I've seen a pretty consistent trend. 1
dispatch3d Posted October 23, 2018 Posted October 23, 2018 A musician is on the opposite spectrum from my point of view as someone with an engineering degree. I was off learning about reactors while they played band in their garage - not really comparable in my mind...
lavenderandvelvet Posted October 23, 2018 Posted October 23, 2018 Women seem to want a man who is a winner in life. They aren't attracted to men who seem satisfied. Lawyers and doctors get great women all the time while fast food workers get scraps. I wouldn't say it's about money either. Maybe some women can share what they like in ambitious guys. People want partners that make enough money to support themselves, and live a comfortable life. But most importantly, it’s about having goals and a passion. If you have a job you don’t like to support yourself, but put your heart into something and give that your energy. I don’t care about work ambition but you need life ambition. 1
lavenderandvelvet Posted October 23, 2018 Posted October 23, 2018 A musician is on the opposite spectrum from my point of view as someone with an engineering degree. I was off learning about reactors while they played band in their garage - not really comparable in my mind... That’s dismissive. Where do you get the idea that being a musician is not work or effort? And someone is a working musician? That is not an easy gig to get. 3
LauraXX Posted October 23, 2018 Posted October 23, 2018 Ambition is important for me, a succesful career is not. Yes, I do want a partner who can support himself financially. However, he doesn't have to supprt ME financially and if it's a "simple" job like the previously mentioned barkeeper I wouldn't have a problem with that at all. He should have the ambition of living his best life though. But that could translate to anything (the ambition to explore the world, be a great friend, learn as many languages as possible etc.). My ex (father of my kid) still went to university while I worked a 40h/week so we could pay our rent. He was unemployed for almost a year after that. That was a tough time, but it also felt good to be the breadwinner for the family and it didn't make him less of a man in my eyes (also...his career really took off later and he's now making a lot more than me ). Also, he was never unambitious, always had goals and dreams. I would have been very unhappy with the situation had he just been sitting at home, complaining about his life. But that was never the case.
guest569 Posted October 23, 2018 Posted October 23, 2018 That’s dismissive. Where do you get the idea that being a musician is not work or effort? And someone is a working musician? That is not an easy gig to get. One ex was an accomplished musician, performer and teacher and I really admired that. It takes a lot of intelligence, skill, determination and patience to get to a certain level and depending on the musician, soul, passion and creativity. That is very attractive! I don't think I could be with someone who doesn't appreciate this or thinks that anything that doesn't work towards engineering is a waste of time. 1
EthanBlack Posted October 23, 2018 Posted October 23, 2018 No, women don't want ambitious men. I wrote a whole topic related to this. I had to learn the lesson the hard way. See https://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/667617-guys-stop-prioritizing-your-careers-so-much-hear-me-out
missjewelz Posted October 23, 2018 Posted October 23, 2018 (edited) It just depends on the woman. Some women have higher standards than others, and the same goes for men. I know for me, I have been dating my bf who is a blue collar worker, for some years, but once I entered into the legal field and found myself around lawyers I started to find them attractive because of how smart and successful they were. Blue collar workers can be just as successful and make good money, they just don't work in that corporate type environment. I have a lot going for myself as well, and noticed that I am outgrowing my bf in many ways, we have different ideas about things, that were getting to the point of clashing over everything. I started dating him when I was 21 and he was 27, and now I'm 32, and I am in a more successful position and situation than he is. Since he has treated me well for the most part, we haven't broken up even though he can be very controlling over me. But for me, I like men that are ambitious and that are successful. Women usually are more attracted to men that are financially stable, successful, and that can provide for them. Usually to attract a great woman, a man has to be stable, or at least have a good job, a car, educated, and it helps if hes good looking and fit as well. Most of the time, these type of men expect the same from the women they are attracted too. I noticed most of the successful men I have worked around such as lawyers, executives, or real estate brokers, all of their gf's or wives are educated and successful as well. Edited October 23, 2018 by missjewelz
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