dateme Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 Women seem to want a man who is a winner in life. They aren't attracted to men who seem satisfied. Lawyers and doctors get great women all the time while fast food workers get scraps. I wouldn't say it's about money either. Maybe some women can share what they like in ambitious guys.
Logo Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 Of course it's about money, among other things. It's also about socioeconomic status. It's about ambition. It's about power. It's about lifestyle. Women love men who seek powerful positions or are in powerful positions at work. Some women will even tell you that they're financially independent and want to keep it that way; they will tell you that they don't appreciate it if a man were to assume the traditional gender role because that would be sexist, but they will still expect him to be a good provider.
Lorenza Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 For me personally, a man doesn't have to super ambitious - I'd rather have someone who enjoys his position in life and isn't constantly worried and stressed about climbing up the career ladder. That being said, a higher education is definitely a must for me though. And a qualified job. So I wouldn't like to date a bartender, or a cashier at Walmart. But he doesn't have to be a CEO either. 1
Author dateme Posted October 21, 2018 Author Posted October 21, 2018 Of course it's about money, among other things. It's also about socioeconomic status. It's about ambition. It's about power. It's about lifestyle. Women love men who seek powerful positions or are in powerful positions at work. Some women will even tell you that they're financially independent and want to keep it that way; they will tell you that they don't appreciate it if a man were to assume the traditional gender role because that would be sexist, but they will still expect him to be a good provider. Hmmmm. I see the socieconomics as huge.
d0nnivain Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 Some do. Some don't. It also depends on the ambition. The farther one partner goes, the tougher it can be on the relationship. I recently read an article about Heidi Cruz, the wife of Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX). It was eye opening. She's the family breadwinner. He's the public face. She was fairly candid about what his failed bid for President did to their marriage. I'm not asking you about his politics but to understand that his ambition impacted her & their family. Ambition & success have trade offs. I don't think too many people want lazy partners who can't pull their own weight in the relationship but the contributions don't always have to be defined along gender roles. To use your example, doctors & lawyers spend years studying & work long hours. 12-16 hour days 6 days a week & holidays are not uncommon. Some people can't handle their partner being away that long. Other's prefer somebody with a 9 to 5 job, and a 37.5 hour work week who can be on time for the dinner, serve as the Scout Master & coach little league. Many "ambitious" people are you seem to have defined that term do not have the time or the luxury to be that involved parent. It's about goals & preferences, after you earn the basics to cover living expenses: Shelter & food. 1
Author dateme Posted October 21, 2018 Author Posted October 21, 2018 For me personally, a man doesn't have to super ambitious - I'd rather have someone who enjoys his position in life and isn't constantly worried and stressed about climbing up the career ladder. That being said, a higher education is definitely a must for me though. And a qualified job. So I wouldn't like to date a bartender, or a cashier at Walmart. But he doesn't have to be a CEO either. What's wrong with bartenders? They seem to get a lot of women?
basil67 Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 Women seem to want a man who is a winner in life. They aren't attracted to men who seem satisfied. Lawyers and doctors get great women all the time while fast food workers get scraps. I wouldn't say it's about money either. Maybe some women can share what they like in ambitious guys. So the way my life worked out, I'm a carer to our disabled child. I wouldn't have been able to give him nearly the amount of time that I do if my husband hadn't been able to support four of us on one income. The outcome for my family would have been dire had my husband been satisfied flipping burgers. There is also the alternative that I could have been the provider and supported the family. But my husband is a better earner than a carer. And I'm a better carer than an earner. 1
basil67 Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 What's wrong with bartenders? They seem to get a lot of women? How many bartenders do you see who are older than 30? Bartending is what you do to earn money while you study. Or how you supplement your fledgling career as a musician. 1
Gretchen12 Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 But the fast food worker is probably not satisfied. It's not the money. The man can be a financially struggling artist, or a poorly paid ski patrol guy. As long as he likes his job, that's what matters. If a man is unhappy with his job, he's not gonna be fun to be with. It's ambition to try to reach a certain goal such as trying to learn a new language that's unrelated to a job. Although... the ambition to improve his score in a video game is probably not gonna cut it with me. 1
Lorenza Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 What's wrong with bartenders? They seem to get a lot of women? If someone is happy being a bartender - there's nothing wrong with that, but I wouldn't date one. It's just...not a serious career. If you can call it a career at all. Night shifts and messed up sleeping schedule isn't very promising either. 2
carhill Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 Sure, women want men who are ambitious in the way they want them to be. 1
Author dateme Posted October 21, 2018 Author Posted October 21, 2018 How many bartenders do you see who are older than 30? Bartending is what you do to earn money while you study. Or how you supplement your fledgling career as a musician. Good to know this is how women see it. So I guess they'll have fun with these guys but never have a relationship with them. Interesting.
Author dateme Posted October 21, 2018 Author Posted October 21, 2018 If someone is happy being a bartender - there's nothing wrong with that, but I wouldn't date one. It's just...not a serious career. If you can call it a career at all. Night shifts and messed up sleeping schedule isn't very promising either. Hmmm. Sounds like a deadbeat the way you put it.
Author dateme Posted October 21, 2018 Author Posted October 21, 2018 But the fast food worker is probably not satisfied. It's not the money. The man can be a financially struggling artist, or a poorly paid ski patrol guy. As long as he likes his job, that's what matters. If a man is unhappy with his job, he's not gonna be fun to be with. It's ambition to try to reach a certain goal such as trying to learn a new language that's unrelated to a job. Although... the ambition to improve his score in a video game is probably not gonna cut it with me. Cool. I see now.
TheFinalWord Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 Women seem to want a man who is a winner in life. They aren't attracted to men who seem satisfied. Lawyers and doctors get great women all the time while fast food workers get scraps. I wouldn't say it's about money either. Maybe some women can share what they like in ambitious guys. It's like asking does a man want a woman that is physically attractive in a conventional way. Yes, it causes initial attraction. Women see successful men as being able to care for their offspring, in the same way men see physically healthy women as being able to bear children and survive childbirth (not too long ago this was not very certain). You can read tons of evolutionary biology/psychology papers about hyper-gamy. But our evolutionary past hasn't caught up to modern times. While those drivers are still there, there must be more there for a long-term relationship. 1
carhill Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 Also, appearances are key, as is the man's social cred. If he talks a good game that's a bonus. Marketing the steak is as important, or more important, than the quality of the steak. That charisma thing. It affects perception and how ambition is described. It's all feelings. The guys who learn early how to play that game are the masters of their domain, regardless of any real world quantification of their ambition.
TheFinalWord Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 Also, appearances are key, as is the man's social cred. If he talks a good game that's a bonus. Marketing the steak is as important, or more important, than the quality of the steak. That charisma thing. It affects perception and how ambition is described. It's all feelings. The guys who learn early how to play that game are the masters of their domain, regardless of any real world quantification of their ambition. To quote the immortal Kramer, we don't sell the steak, we sell the sizzle
carhill Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 Couldn't remember where I'd heard that but yup that was on my mind. Also, I used to do chiller/cold storage work for a restaurant meat supplier and saw up close and personal the real world meat business. It's all about marketing.
Versacehottie Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 I think like generally attracts like. If you are ambitious, you tend to admire and like the qualities of someone else who is as well. I think it's about having similar goals and a way at looking at life--that's how it is for me. Also the traits that often make up an ambitious guy are what is often attractive to a lot of women in general. There are some careers that are obviously ambitious but I probably would never like a guy from that line of work (see ^^ politicians above lol) because there are a lot of things that are about that lifestyle that don't appeal to me or that I don't respect (apologies to honest politicians reading this). Socioeconomic does play into it as well for similar reasons. People brought up in certain socioeconomic situations more easily relate to one another (scientific fact); however, i think that someone who has joined a socioeconomic group (whether moving up or down) will also relate or be drawn to those in similar or same group for the same reasons they chose to make their life like that. I think some guys choose a less ambitious route because they are very committed to a family lifestyle and want to be there in that way as a priority which a lot of women appreciate and for others it causes problems because it doesn't follow more traditional norms. Not debating what is right or wrong, just saying how a lot of people think. I think sometimes when the woman is the more ambitious or breadwinner it eventually can cause problems or resentment and people can want to avoid that so they look for a guy who on his own, chooses a career that inherently will avoid that situation. Bartenders for example can make a great living but maybe a girl won't see it as a lifelong career or like what the lifestyle is like really if her guy is doing this job (meeting lots of girls on a nightly basis and not being available to be with you during prime dating hours). Or there are other jobs that make great money but are more trade-oriented so some girls won't like that aspect or others won't believe in having a lawyer bf/husband because they don't respect some of that work or a doctor because they don't want to have him get called away on emergencies or whatever. So I'd say it's a multi-layered reasoning for a lot of us. I think it would be a lie to say it doesn't matter at all, which is why guys probably feel pressure about it. I don't know a girl who it doesn't matter to in some way or another. Realistically, guys care too what our careers are--usually much less so though (generalizing here)--probably less about financial part and more about lifestyle stuff. 1
Hopeful30 Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 At least as ambitious as me. If we don't see similarly on that, then we will never move at the same pace, and eventually we will drift apart. The bigger the difference, the quicker we grow apart. I think that both partners need to be similar in ambition levels in order for a relationship to successfully develop. Otherwise one may always feel held back by the other, etc. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 What's wrong with bartenders? They seem to get a lot of women? There is nothing wrong with bartenders & some make good money. I made more money the last year I was a bartender then the 1st year I had a "real" job that required a graduate degree & a license. The problem with dating bartenders is that they work in a party & their hours are horrible. They work when most people are off so unless you also have that crazy schedule you won't see too much of them.
Malin889 Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 How many bartenders do you see who are older than 30? Bartending is what you do to earn money while you study. Or how you supplement your fledgling career as a musician. ??? I know plenty of career bartenders who are much older than 30, and who make a great career and money out of it. It’s not an easy job.
guest569 Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 I'm ambitious. Why would I date some layabout? Also keep in mind that ambition does not equal money and status. Ambition is about determination to achieve goals. And do well at life. What's not to like about it. Maybe the fast food guy wants to flip record number or burger or win employee of the month or open his own shop. I ain't providing for some slack guy that doesn't know what he is doing. 2
David33 Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 I've really only been in LTRs and I'm a "how deep does the rabbit hole go?" kind of person when it comes to my ambitions. They all appreciated it but some didn't want to venture down with me and preferred to wait at the top and hope I come back out. I get it, it can be exhausting for them.
alphamale Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 good looking women especially like successful men. these women go for money/power/status and men go for youth and beauty. they are a match made in heaven
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