babybear Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 Bf and I had a fight that escalated far higher than it should have...so I think an outside perspective will help. I am meeting him tomorrow, so any input would help! BACKGROUND from 1 month ago: Bf and I made plans to have dinner. We live an hour apart, and at this time I had responsibilities and rarely had a night to go out. To make a long story short, he called me, told me he wasnt hungry and if we could reschedule. I was disappointed - said okay, and told him to drive safe, I'd talk to him later. I call at midnite to say gnite, and he is out with his best friend! I ask him what the hell happened. He admitted to being an idiot, but felt like going out instead of a quiet nite, lied to me, and went out. I was VERY hurt by this, and angry as hell. Like, at least tell me your in the mood to go out, I'll understand. Don't lie to me! TUESDAY: We were both stressed with work, etc. for the past few weeks and had been snapping at each other lately. I call and tell him lets make up. We make up and make plans to spend the weekend. There's a pub/restaurant we both wanted to try forever, and agreed to go to a bday party together Friday, and this place Sat. He even said, lets have a special date there, it'll be OUR place. On Wed., he goes to hang out with his best friend. I call at midnite to say good nite. He is like, baby...actually I'm at (name of bar WE were supposed to go to!) with (best friend.) Again, I'm like WTF? We had plans! He hangs up on me. I call back, and ask why he did that. He hangs up. By this time, my blood pressure is up! I call back FIVE times. I was sooo mad. He answers on the 5th time, and informs me that he turned his phone off, and I better stop, or he will again. I said, look - I'm just trying to understand how you wound up there with HIM, when we made plans. He tells me to 'get over it' and hangs up. I go to my sis and tell her this, so she calls him up (they're friends too), and is like, why are you two fighting? This is 2 hrs later, about 2 am now. He is like, I'm sorry...I blew it. Tells her a total sob story. He calls me, begs my forgivenss. I was like, well....you were awfully rude. Hanging up is SO unacceptable. I tell him we'll talk again when I am ready. So, the next day I don't answer my phone, and I cancelled weekend plans. We finally talk around 7pm today. He is nice at first, but turns into a monster again soon. His excuse about why he went to that pub was that he 'forgot' we had plans. And I brought up the previous incident and said, look - you lied to me about that - I think you remembered, but you wanted to go there and went and disregarded that we had plans. I thought this b/c his friend lives in that area, and is a jackass anyway who always gets in my way. I figured that his buddy was like, hey...lets go there. And my bf probably didnt feel like saying, well - my gf and I have a special date on Sat, there. Anyway, I don't really think he forgot. And he won't admit that he didn;t. And we can't agree on this. Plus, I am mad he hangs up, but he says that I have a problem where I can't hang up. I tell him it's because I like to resolve things - and he hangs up when he can't take it any longer. We both speak English, but I swear we don't understand a word the other says. It wasn't always like this...we ALWAYS got along. If anyone made it reading down this far...and if this made any sense...am I overreacting? Or is he overreacting? Or is there some clarity in here I don't see? Babybear
Kitteney Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 strike one: he lied to cancel plans with you and go out with his friend strike two: he "forgot" about your special plans strike three/four: he hangs up when he can't take listening to you any more(at least he answers the phone, I gotta give him some credit for that) and he goes from nice to mean while you are trying to get some clarity on a situation. i would say, take a break, if you two are stressed at work and are taking it out on each other, you're going to do some damage. especially if you can't resolve things in a cool, rational manner if he comes back, he comes back, if not, oh well, that's life. Good luck with that.
Merin Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 Your BF is behaving like an a**h***! The first time of blowing you off so he could go out with his buddy is bullsh*t, if he wanted to hang out with his Boy then he should've been honest about that so you could've made other plans as well to do something enjoyable... The second time... IMO he didn't really blow you off... the 2 of you were suppose to go there on a different day, while I can understand your being upset that the 2 of you had made plans to try this place together and he was there with his buddy.... but IMO where he messed up was in hanging up on you... OMFG I hate when someone does that! It only added insult to injury when he talked to you like you were 5 years old saying if you continue to call he would turn his phone off again.... OMG no he didn't! at that point I probably would've said no need to turn it off because I won't be calling you again! Telling you he forgot later that he had a date with you there is also bullsh*t... he didn't forget he just didn't want to tell his Dude that he had a date planned there with you and even if he did tell his buddy that I can almost gaurantee his friend was like yeah and? IMO most Guys wouldn't see anything wrong with going there with one of thier Guy friends and reason that it wasn't like he (your bf) was taking another girl there.... Last thing here Girl.... I notice that it is always YOU calling HIM to tell him good night.... I have been guilty of this myself... YOU need to make his silly butt work harder than this.... let him call YOU to tell you good night, let him be the one going out of his way to make a date with you... make him work a little harder. Hang in there sista
betterwife Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 Leave him alone. You are not important to him.
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