ProfessorOptics Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 Okay, so I've decided over the next 12 months, I want to turn myself into my own version of "James Bond". I want to place myself into an abundance mindset, and start being a better man in every way possible. So here, I want to know some tips from everyone here, on how I can improve my social game, get dates... and well, eventually end up with someone great. I follow videos, and guides from folks such as Corey Wayne, and Coach Red Pill. I'm posting specifically here, because this thread is aimed at the meeting, talking and attracting women, effectively. From Cold approach, to letting them approach you. Online Dating, to offline dating, and if anyone has the time, help with tips on how I can improve my online dating profiles on a set of websites, so I can maximize my chances at attracting someone. If, of course, this is not the place, then mods, by all means delete the thread so I do not waste anybodies time. Bare in mind, to those who decide they want to help, that I have autism, Asperger's and Pathological Demand Avoidance, to be specific, of which I'm still in the process of learning how to manage. So any tips, tricks, suggestions and advice, please keep it simple and direct, and see if you can add a scenario in which it could play out. Any help would be appreciated and I'll buy you a drink in future, should we ever meet in the street lol or at the very least, use this thread as a means to hold myself accountable, as a written journey as I learn the process of becoming an omega male. If that is allowed of course. Mods, please tell me if it's not plausible
smackie9 Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 Delete those videos, and learn to just simply have confidence, a relaxed demeanor, and be optimistic. There's no magic words and crap.....women can smell "pickup" a mile away and it's icky. 2
carhill Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 So you're looking for self-improvement experience and advice from members to reshape yourself for the dating marketplace to gain more success in it than in the past. Admirable goal. I'll share one tip that worked wonders for myself. Back in my late 20's, just short of 30, I took about five years off from any sort of dating pursuits and worked on myself. Got involved in the community, tried my hand at public speaking, something that scared me to death prior, grew my business, traveled to other countries and experienced other cultures, all while solo and celibate. The man who emerged was more attractive to women. It wasn't purposefully done via some formula, rather a personal journey that ended up with wider attractiveness as one result. Perfect? Nah, just an average guy expanding his horizons. IMO, there's no magic formula, rather just life. We make plans and life happens. Enjoy the ride. It's over all too soon. 1
Author ProfessorOptics Posted October 20, 2018 Author Posted October 20, 2018 Delete those videos, and learn to just simply have confidence, a relaxed demeanor, and be optimistic. There's no magic words and crap.....women can smell "pickup" a mile away and it's icky. Hmm, yea. I'm not necessarily meaning PUA stuff. Although, they do have some things a person can learn. I mean, developing the confidence to walk up to a woman I'm attracted to, and remain calm during the conversation. Like what to say, and how to stop myself from overthinking prior to the conversation. Because i do that a lot, I look at a girl, and i start thinking about all the angles: what if she isn't interested and rejects me, what if she doesn't and takes an interest in me. What do i say, how do i act, how do i behave. When do i flirt, when do i touch, and all that stuff. and before i know it, she's left lol
Author ProfessorOptics Posted October 20, 2018 Author Posted October 20, 2018 So you're looking for self-improvement experience and advice from members to reshape yourself for the dating marketplace to gain more success in it than in the past. Admirable goal. I'll share one tip that worked wonders for myself. Back in my late 20's, just short of 30, I took about five years off from any sort of dating pursuits and worked on myself. Got involved in the community, tried my hand at public speaking, something that scared me to death prior, grew my business, traveled to other countries and experienced other cultures, all while solo and celibate. The man who emerged was more attractive to women. It wasn't purposefully done via some formula, rather a personal journey that ended up with wider attractiveness as one result. Perfect? Nah, just an average guy expanding his horizons. IMO, there's no magic formula, rather just life. We make plans and life happens. Enjoy the ride. It's over all too soon. I've tried Public Speaking. I don't have a problem with it. On the out set, I don't lack confidence. I lack the ability to stop myself from overthinking about how to approach, talk and attract women. I also fail to see vital cues and signs necessary to let a man know when a woman is interested. How to keep a conversation flowing, when to leave, when to ask for her number, how to suggest leaving, how to set a date. And it sucks, because I know I have the confidence, I just lack the know how lol I don't even get matches on Tinder, lol. and I have no idea why. That's what i'm here to find out about. How to turn myself from this clueless male, to someone who has the capacity to meet a different woman everyday, attract and seduce her and see where things go.
JuneL Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 I've tried Public Speaking. I don't have a problem with it. On the out set, I don't lack confidence. I lack the ability to stop myself from overthinking about how to approach, talk and attract women. I also fail to see vital cues and signs necessary to let a man know when a woman is interested. How to keep a conversation flowing, when to leave, when to ask for her number, how to suggest leaving, how to set a date. And it sucks, because I know I have the confidence, I just lack the know how lol I don't even get matches on Tinder, lol. and I have no idea why. That's what i'm here to find out about. How to turn myself from this clueless male, to someone who has the capacity to meet a different woman everyday, attract and seduce her and see where things go. The entry ticket for getting matches on Tinder is to have presentable pictures.
Author ProfessorOptics Posted October 20, 2018 Author Posted October 20, 2018 What works? practice. I know. Practice is the mother of all skill. I don't know where to start though lol
Gretchen12 Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 I have a lot of random advice for you. But I must say first of all, there is a process of coming into your own, that occurs after you reach adulthood, but for some it doesn't occur until late twenties or sometimes even later. What happens is you develop a strong sense of self. And then how you act is simply who you are, not a character you're playing. For someone who has achieved that, the PUA stuff feels like scamming someone because the true self is already fixed. Now, for talking to women that you see, do it immediately. Don't think. Start talking even before you get a good look at her. You may not even like what you see after you get a close look :-) But that doesn't matter. It also doesn't matter if she's not interested. Depending on where you are, some societies frown upon talking to strangers. Some people actually consider it a rude interruption when a stranger talks to them. So don't take it too hard. For meeting women online, it's almost entirely the photo that's important. You should have none of the following: blurred picture, face too close, shirtless, making faces, part of face cut off, pictures without you in it, looking sad, angry, confused, lonely. Even if you have good pictures posted, the addition of bad ones will ruin it. Better to have few good ones. Hair and clothing matters. Here you have to decide if you want to appeal to general taste and attract the average woman (there are more of them), or you want to stay true to a perhaps quirky style and attract fewer women that like your style. This depends on how much you're set in your ways. In all cases, ask yourself if you were a magazine editor, would you publish that photo. Essentially you are publishing it online, so take time to think about it.
Author ProfessorOptics Posted October 20, 2018 Author Posted October 20, 2018 (edited) I have a lot of random advice for you. But I must say first of all, there is a process of coming into your own, that occurs after you reach adulthood, but for some it doesn't occur until late twenties or sometimes even later. What happens is you develop a strong sense of self. And then how you act is simply who you are, not a character you're playing. For someone who has achieved that, the PUA stuff feels like scamming someone because the true self is already fixed. I feel as though I'm starting to get to that point. I just need to put it into practice, and actually attract women. Now, for talking to women that you see, do it immediately. Don't think. Start talking even before you get a good look at her. You may not even like what you see after you get a close look :-) But that doesn't matter. It also doesn't matter if she's not interested. Depending on where you are, some societies frown upon talking to strangers. Some people actually consider it a rude interruption when a stranger talks to them. So don't take it too hard. My brain works so quickly lol. Just by glancing over, it's already thinking over everything. Then I worry, and then I regret, because I ended up not doing anything. Plus, I can't help feel that there is some goal everytime I go up to a woman and talk to her. For meeting women online, it's almost entirely the photo that's important. You should have none of the following: blurred picture, face too close, shirtless, making faces, part of face cut off, pictures without you in it, looking sad, angry, confused, lonely. Even if you have good pictures posted, the addition of bad ones will ruin it. Better to have few good ones. It's a lot to do with the photo, i know. I just don't know if i'm just not photogenic or something. Plus I used to have a massive beard until last week. Hair and clothing matters. Here you have to decide if you want to appeal to general taste and attract the average woman (there are more of them), or you want to stay true to a perhaps quirky style and attract fewer women that like your style. This depends on how much you're set in your ways. My general style is a shirt, waistcoat, chinos and some nice shoes. However, right now, it's more about practice and being able to attract the average woman, so i can build up the confidence to go for the above average woman. You know, start small and grow with time. My profile pic was taken just today. Edited October 20, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Formatting repaired
Rotn'roses Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 I like that you state what tribulations you are experiencing in your life at the moment. If a man just came up to me and wanted to date me and told me straight out what his problems were in life, I would applaude his forwardness and appreciate his honest assessments. I have autism too though, so I only know how to be frank and direct. Why must we carry pretenses around with us everywhere? These times are freaking stressful. Just cut the crap and tell me like it is, because we all know your fine as* isnt perfect is what I feel like telling people sometimes! Alas, my only advice is to be yourself, and good luck on your journey to a better you! May all the desires of your heart transform your life!
rightondude Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 If I were you I'd do something different with that hair (hey at least you have hair, that's a big plus) and ditch the vest. Also don't use a mugshot as your profile pic. Use a site like photofeeler.com (no I don't have anything to do with them) to get evals on your potential profile photos. As far as personality, just become the ultimate you. Work on what you love, get really good at something, and try to be successful. Women love some confidence, in whatever it is. Good luck brother.
guest569 Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 Also don't use a mugshot as your profile pic. I read recently that the front-on shot of your face has a better success rate than a tilted/slight angle - something about people being able to assess the symmetry of your face. Losing the beard is a good move. I agree the hair could do with a tidy. Need better lighting. Being unemployed will hinder your success at getting matches. Optics, I was wondering how old are you? Have you been on any dates before? Do you go to many social gatherings in general? Have you been on Tinder long? No matches at all?
Author ProfessorOptics Posted October 21, 2018 Author Posted October 21, 2018 I read recently that the front-on shot of your face has a better success rate than a tilted/slight angle - something about people being able to assess the symmetry of your face. Losing the beard is a good move. I agree the hair could do with a tidy. Need better lighting. Being unemployed will hinder your success at getting matches. Optics, I was wondering how old are you? Have you been on any dates before? Do you go to many social gatherings in general? Have you been on Tinder long? No matches at all? yea, not sure what to do with the hair. I don't want a style that "everyone else" has. I'm still looking for my own style. a beard doesn't really matter, it's how you wear it that does. and I wasn't wearing it in a way that was effective. I'm 28. been on a few dates, but not many. usually a few years in between. still very much a virgin. I do go out, but I avoid overly noisy places like clubs unless I'm really feeling up for it. My ears take it for long and my energy is drained very quickly. Tinder, I've been on for a few months now. most of the choices I get are big mama's (which here is so far off my list, it's not even an option). And yea, no matches at all. I don't even know if Tinder is effective to meeting women, at this point. oh and be being unemployed. I'm working on stuff I enjoy, rather than getting a job for the sake of getting a job. GameDev, writing books and music.
Author ProfessorOptics Posted October 21, 2018 Author Posted October 21, 2018 If I were you I'd do something different with that hair (hey at least you have hair, that's a big plus) and ditch the vest. Also don't use a mugshot as your profile pic. Use a site like photofeeler.com (no I don't have anything to do with them) to get evals on your potential profile photos. As far as personality, just become the ultimate you. Work on what you love, get really good at something, and try to be successful. Women love some confidence, in whatever it is. Good luck brother. What would you suggest for the hair? I usually do it myself to save expenses lol
elaine567 Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 Forget about the PUA stuff and sort out your life first. You may be able to "attract" her for about 5 minutes but unless there is more substance to you then she will quickly bail. No job - big deal - at 28 you need to have your act together. Few women want to "subsidise" a man whilst he is "playing" at life. Also forget the "own style" mentality, it will do you few favours. 1
Author ProfessorOptics Posted October 21, 2018 Author Posted October 21, 2018 Forget about the PUA stuff and sort out your life first. You may be able to "attract" her for about 5 minutes but unless there is more substance to you then she will quickly bail. No job - big deal - at 28 you need to have your act together. Few women want to "subsidise" a man whilst he is "playing" at life. Also forget the "own style" mentality, it will do you few favours. Yea i'm in the process of it. And thus, i'm not out to find anything long term. Not until the end of this next 12 months. Between now and then however, I need to practice and want to have a bit of fun in between sorting my **** out.
Author ProfessorOptics Posted October 21, 2018 Author Posted October 21, 2018 (edited) Also, I think part of the issue with me failing with women, is the fact that i tend to go on and on about things. I often tend to be like a lecturer. Watching some stuff, I picked up a tip that states that women want to have emotional complicity. Laughter, admiration, awe, fear, whatever the case may be, and to share that with someone. She not want someone who will lecture her about whatever is on my mind at the time. So that comes to my next issue. Humour. I want to try at humour, but I see humour as jokes, but jokes, from my experience, very rarely works. So how do you be humorous with a woman, particular on the initial meeting. Could someone please play out a scenario if you have the time? What is considered generally funny vs something that is generally weird and creepy? Edited October 21, 2018 by ProfessorOptics
Author ProfessorOptics Posted October 21, 2018 Author Posted October 21, 2018 And regards to style. looking at my profile pic, what I can do to make myself more appealing? I don't want to necessarily conform to trends, but I am willing to compromise if it gets me to my goal in 12 months. any tips?
JuneL Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 Forget about the PUA stuff and sort out your life first. You may be able to "attract" her for about 5 minutes but unless there is more substance to you then she will quickly bail. No job - big deal - at 28 you need to have your act together. Few women want to "subsidise" a man whilst he is "playing" at life. Also forget the "own style" mentality, it will do you few favours. A million times this!
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