pumpkinjen Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 (edited) hello everyone, i recently went to the clinic where i do therapy and sat in the waiting room waiting for my therapist to call me into his office, when a guy walked into the room. he was really good looking, i immediately thought he is exactly my type. i didn't really know what to do, because i never ever thought about running into a cute guy at the clinic's waiting room. so we sit there and i look over and he smiles at me. then he asks all of a sudden 'hey how long have you been waiting?' and i say 'ten minutes' and we both smile. i realized he was flirting because who asks 'how long have you been waiting?' at the psych clinic? it's just odd, usually people keep to themselves. he then says 'well, at least they have complimentary tea and coffee' and i say 'oh i haven't made use of that' and smile. then my and his therapists came out, greeted each other and left into my therapist's office for several minutes. cute guy and i looked at each other again and smiled... i made some witty comment, don't remember what it was... maybe then i should have asked if he ever wants to get a coffee sometime, but of course i didn't, i was just shy. he looked over a few more times in the next few minutes but then my therapist called me into his room. when my appt was over, of course the hot guy was not there, probably still in his appointment. although i waited downstairs for a while, i eventually went home defeated. it would have been super weird to ask someone out straight after they come out of a therapy session, right? after all i do not know what he is in therapy for. but at the same time i rarely ever like someone and i felt something there, some weird chemistry and energy, i dont know how to describe it. something that is very rare to me. i am thinking of this encounter for two days now ever since and i just want to see him again and ask him out. any clue what i can do? i feel i blew all my chances. Edited October 20, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Paragraphs
smackie9 Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 Just me but don't s^&% where you eat. He's there for a reason, and what that reason could be a whole bowl of issues for you. But that's just my take on it. Next time(with him or any guy) start up a convo with him, ask if he's married or has any kids, what does he do for a living etc. Normal stuff...get a feel for him first. In my book of rules, never assume they are single, ask if they are, but casually in a conversation. Ya I get the privacy thing these days, but if it's just a simple chat, and they are engaging in it, that's an open door to do so. 1
JuneL Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 (edited) Don’t people usually have weekly therapy on the same day and at the same time each week? Try to go earlier next time. i recently went to the clinic where i do therapy and sat in the waiting room waiting for my therapist to call me into his office, when a guy walked into the room. he was really good looking, i immediately thought he is exactly my type. i didn't really know what to do, because i never ever thought about running into a cute guy at the clinic's waiting room. so we sit there and i look over and he smiles at me. then he asks all of a sudden 'hey how long have you been waiting?' and i say 'ten minutes' and we both smile. <snip> i eventually went home defeated. it would have been super weird to ask someone out straight after they come out of a therapy session, right? after all i do not know what he is in therapy for. but at the same time i rarely ever like someone and i felt something there, some weird chemistry and energy, i dont know how to describe it. something that is very rare to me. i am thinking of this encounter for two days now ever since and i just want to see him again and ask him out. any clue what i can do? i feel i blew all my chances. Edited October 20, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Truncate quote
Saracena Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 This reminds me of the episode in SITC when Carrie meets that very cute guy in the therapist's waiting room. I can't remember exactly what happened after they both ended up chatting but I *think* they ended up having a relationship! Sorry not much use OP but unless you bump into him again not a lot you can do. However, I'd proceed with caution, nonetheless.
Author pumpkinjen Posted October 20, 2018 Author Posted October 20, 2018 Don’t people usually have weekly therapy on the same day and at the same time each week? Try to go earlier next time. i have different time and day each week. i don't know about how other people do it. maybe i go and check same time next week (although i do not have an appointment that day).
Author pumpkinjen Posted October 20, 2018 Author Posted October 20, 2018 Just me but don't s^&% where you eat. He's there for a reason, and what that reason could be a whole bowl of issues for you. But that's just my take on it. Next time(with him or any guy) start up a convo with him, ask if he's married or has any kids, what does he do for a living etc. Normal stuff...get a feel for him first. In my book of rules, never assume they are single, ask if they are, but casually in a conversation. Ya I get the privacy thing these days, but if it's just a simple chat, and they are engaging in it, that's an open door to do so. that is what i thought also at first but then again, so many people have issues and DONT do anything about it, i sometimes find it much more pleasant to talk to people who are aware of their issues and are working through them than people who just brush stuff under the rug.
smackie9 Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 i have different time and day each week. i don't know about how other people do it. maybe i go and check same time next week (although i do not have an appointment that day). That's a little desperate. It's better to let things happen organically. If it's meant to be it's meant to be.
preraph Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 I just talked to a woman at a clothing store who had a fun story. She was at the vet with her dog and there was a guy there with his puppy, so they were talking and hitting it off. She lives in a small town but very near a big huge town and she rarely ventures out of her small community, even though you'd think she would, but no. So she was really liking this guy who lives where she does. So she was called in by the vet first and then when she came out, she didn't know if he was in a room or gone, but she wrote out a note and left it and asked the receptionist to give it to him next time she saw him, and it simply asked about how his puppy was and said she hoped his pup was okay. So he read the note and then left a note with the receptionist for her, with his phone number and thanking her for her concern and telling her his pup was okay. So anyway, they're dating now and she just loves him because her last longterm boyfriend didn't like her dogs, and this guy loves them. I don't imagine the therapist (unless it's physical therapy) would want to get involved and do this for you, or her receptionist. But maybe you'll run into him again. And like Smackie said above, you need to find out if he's married. Married guys talk and flirt with women all the time. You can never ever assume some man is not already attached.
Author pumpkinjen Posted October 20, 2018 Author Posted October 20, 2018 I just talked to a woman at a clothing store who had a fun story. She was at the vet with her dog and there was a guy there with his puppy, so they were talking and hitting it off. She lives in a small town but very near a big huge town and she rarely ventures out of her small community, even though you'd think she would, but no. So she was really liking this guy who lives where she does. So she was called in by the vet first and then when she came out, she didn't know if he was in a room or gone, but she wrote out a note and left it and asked the receptionist to give it to him next time she saw him, and it simply asked about how his puppy was and said she hoped his pup was okay. So he read the note and then left a note with the receptionist for her, with his phone number and thanking her for her concern and telling her his pup was okay. So anyway, they're dating now and she just loves him because her last longterm boyfriend didn't like her dogs, and this guy loves them. I don't imagine the therapist (unless it's physical therapy) would want to get involved and do this for you, or her receptionist. But maybe you'll run into him again. And like Smackie said above, you need to find out if he's married. Married guys talk and flirt with women all the time. You can never ever assume some man is not already attached. i had a feeling he would not be married, he looked like he would be younger than me, probably between 26-29 years old, and he was reading on a kindle... haha!!! i dont know, he just seemed single to me, i had a feeling. i really hope i see him again. the story witht he notes is cute, i wish i would have done something like that, or i would have just asked him out, i feel like a complete fool that i did not do it because i keep thinking about him ever since. i never like anyone, that's why it is so special to me that i felt something in the moment that i talked with him. 1
SunnyWeather Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 (edited) This reminds me of the episode in SITC when Carrie meets that very cute guy in the therapist's waiting room. I can't remember exactly what happened after they both ended up chatting but I *think* they ended up having a relationship! Sorry not much use OP but unless you bump into him again not a lot you can do. However, I'd proceed with caution, nonetheless. I thought of that too. It ended up going something like this: After they hook up in post-coital bliss, their conversation starts making fun of the doc they are seeing. Then: Carrie: so, why are you seeing dr. so and so? Dude: I sleep with women one time and never want to see them again. You? Carrie: I keep choosing guys with intimacy issues Edited October 20, 2018 by SunnyWeather 1
preraph Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 (edited) i had a feeling he would not be married, he looked like he would be younger than me, probably between 26-29 years old, and he was reading on a kindle... haha!!! i dont know, he just seemed single to me, i had a feeling. i really hope i see him again. the story witht he notes is cute, i wish i would have done something like that, or i would have just asked him out, i feel like a complete fool that i did not do it because i keep thinking about him ever since. i never like anyone, that's why it is so special to me that i felt something in the moment that i talked with him. Don't trust your gut when it's comes to assuming a guy is single! I knew as a friend a guy and his brother for three years and never knew he was married until after we were in bed for the first time. I mean, I knew all his friends and everything. Saw him and his brother out together all the time, never once saw him with a woman. Visited his small retail store often and never once saw a woman. He didn't take her anywhere! Guys can be very sneaky. Another guy I knew, not even his best friends who were in his band and known him for years knew if he was married or not, but I did know he had a girlfriend because she did go out with him. I would ask his best friends if they were married or not because I know he saw other women and was flirty, and the answer was "He says no. She says yes." To this day, I still don't know if they were married, but I don't think so only because I never heard about the divorce. Edited October 20, 2018 by preraph
SunnyWeather Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 Don't trust your gut when it's comes to assuming a guy is single! I knew as a friend a guy and his brother for three years and never knew he was married until after we were in bed for the first time. I mean, I knew all his friends and everything. Saw him and his brother out together all the time, never once saw him with a woman. Visited his small retail store often and never once saw a woman. He didn't take her anywhere! Guys can be very sneaky. yup, i've seen this too (both in the US and abroad) where grown men (40s +) out every weekend prowling the bars and going to parties (where the average age of girls is 20-something) like they were still frat boys while the good wife dutifully stays home taking care of the the babies and the home. meh
Author pumpkinjen Posted October 20, 2018 Author Posted October 20, 2018 yup, i've seen this too (both in the US and abroad) where grown men (40s +) out every weekend prowling the bars and going to parties (where the average age of girls is 20-something) like they were still frat boys while the good wife dutifully stays home taking care of the the babies and the home. meh yeah but he is not 40+ he was in his mid to late 20s at most. he looked like he was a grad student or something. with backpack and cheap phone. i dont know, he jsut gave off a single vibe. i usually am good at telling these things. either way, there is no way i will ever see him again. if anyone else has an idea how i could run into him again, let me know.
basil67 Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 so we sit there and i look over and he smiles at me. then he asks all of a sudden 'hey how long have you been waiting?' and i say 'ten minutes' and we both smile. i realized he was flirting because who asks 'how long have you been waiting?' at the psych clinic? it's just odd... He may have been flirting. Or he may have just been a friendly guy. To me, this sounds like a regular, friendly conversation. And it's exactly the kind of thing I'd do and totally not flirting. If you see him again, and he seems to have interest, that could be great. But don't make assumptions that a friendly chat indicates interest.
Author pumpkinjen Posted October 21, 2018 Author Posted October 21, 2018 He may have been flirting. Or he may have just been a friendly guy. To me, this sounds like a regular, friendly conversation. And it's exactly the kind of thing I'd do and totally not flirting. If you see him again, and he seems to have interest, that could be great. But don't make assumptions that a friendly chat indicates interest. basil you were not there but i was, and i think i lived enough to be able to read if someone is flirting or just being friendly... there was another girl in the room and he barely even looked at her.
Vesna Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 Personally, I wouldn't pursue it. He was being friendly, small-talk, chit-chat. He might be good-looking and approachable but the fact is he is in therapy for a reason. I've lost count of the number of men who have engaged me in conversation in the waiting room as soon as I inadvertently make eye-contact with them. We are there because we are seriously messed up and it is not a place for potential dating prospects. Never get your meat from where you get your bread. Protect yourself.
Author pumpkinjen Posted October 21, 2018 Author Posted October 21, 2018 Personally, I wouldn't pursue it. He was being friendly, small-talk, chit-chat. He might be good-looking and approachable but the fact is he is in therapy for a reason. I've lost count of the number of men who have engaged me in conversation in the waiting room as soon as I inadvertently make eye-contact with them. We are there because we are seriously messed up and it is not a place for potential dating prospects. Never get your meat from where you get your bread. Protect yourself. i thought that too but i dated so many guys who were 'seriously messed up' and never confronted their issues. i feel maybe it is even healthier to date someone who at least confronts their issues. i am not 'seriously messed up', i am just dealing with some stuff and am proud if it.
basil67 Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 basil you were not there but i was, and i think i lived enough to be able to read if someone is flirting or just being friendly... there was another girl in the room and he barely even looked at her. I was responding to your first post where you said that you knew he was flirting because who does that kind of conversation in a waiting room. I'm saying that I do that type of conversation all the time and it's not flirting. And so what if he took no notice of another person in the waiting room? It doesn't mean anything. Again, if I strike up conversation while waiting for something, I may talk to the person next to me and not all and sundry waiting around. Had you said that he'd been asking personal questions and wanted your number, I would then agree that he was interested. 1
Author pumpkinjen Posted October 21, 2018 Author Posted October 21, 2018 I was responding to your first post where you said that you knew he was flirting because who does that kind of conversation in a waiting room. I'm saying that I do that type of conversation all the time and it's not flirting. And so what if he took no notice of another person in the waiting room? It doesn't mean anything. Again, if I strike up conversation while waiting for something, I may talk to the person next to me and not all and sundry waiting around. Had you said that he'd been asking personal questions and wanted your number, I would then agree that he was interested. huh well ok, i dont know, i just felt like he was flirting, that's all. i like to think i can tell when a guy is into me or not.
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