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Breaking up or giving him another/fixing it up with my boyfriend?


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Posted

Hi guys. Hope you’re doing well.

 

So, we have been living together for over a month now.

 

At first he seemed caring, respectful and gave me all his attention. But then two weeks in and he started to change. He doesn’t text, doesn’t pick up my call, doesn’t call me back, doesn’t want to hang out. I asked why he changed because I dated him because of who he was before. He said all guys do like that, just want girls to like them and he’s tired of doing that since now we’re living together so he doesn’t have to be “fake” anymore and he still loves me so… I listened to him and let it go.

 

However, I can’t stop feeling insecure and lonely when I’m with him. ( I know that relationships is all about feeling safe and secured with your partner ). He keeps being on his phone when we hang out, have dinner, when we wake up… He lied to me about other girls:

 

1. There’s 1 girl he knows that she likes him and the other day he went out with her. I found out about this when he “accidentally” sent me an animoji video which had her voice there as well. It broke my heart because I thought he sent that because he knew I loved animoji but my friends told me that it was just an accident from both of them because the girl’s voice was in there. I texted him ask where he was but he just left me on read and answered like 20 mins later.

 

2. There was one time I cried for 2 hours because I felt lonely when he kept coming home late (1-2am). He was there with me for awhile to calm me down but then he said he had to go to work. I let him go and I found out later that he went out with another girl ( this one always stabbing behind my back so I hate her a lot ) while I was crying at home..

 

3. He followed and liked this girl’s instagram photos a lot ( another one from his high school ). Her name is Megan. The other day when we were talking about names, he said to him the hottest name would be Megan??? I don’t know Megan but her photos keep pooping onto my feed so that’s where I found out about this weird situation. I know I shouldn’t be worried about her since she’s living really far away from us but this just eats my self esteem and confidence and I feel so much pain by this. Is this normal for guys to do like this?

 

He doesn’t ask me any questions about my family or my life. He doesn’t care at all. He doesn’t respect me as every time I’m angry or mad or want to talk, he uses a lot of excuses ( I have to wake up early, I have work, I have family problems… ) to run away or just doesn’t want to listen and use instagram instead. Yes, you might think why the **** I haven’t broken up yet…

 

Because every time I want to break up, he starts to act nicely again. He told me how much he loved me, didn’t want to move out or break up at all. I’ve known him for over 1 year now and I’ve been waiting for so long to be with him so I’m lost. I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid I will not know what to do after break up because I’m very emotional and I always want to have people around me. I can’t be alone. Some of my friends say it’s normal because couples always fight, he says he loves me so I should just listen to that. Other friends tell me to move on and kick him out, find another person that care about me more.

 

I know that I’m young so I shouldn’t be having all this drama in my life but living alone with no relatives around so I have to have someone around with me ( that’s just me - I know I’m very weak ).

 

Right now, I don’t know what to do. We had a fight last night because I went out clubbing til 2am and he was mad because he had work tomorrow but my friends had to call him up to pick me up. Another ****ed up selfish action from him but somehow I don’t know what to do. Please share your opinion and help me to clear my mind. You can chat with me if you want. I always love talking to people (:

Posted

Hi Hun, sorry this is happening to you. So, it seems from your post that theres double standards here. He is uncaring but as soon as he thinks he is losing you he fills his finger out. Truth is, he thinks your the best he can get and you're too good for him. You need to show him you are serious about ending it and kick him out and go no contact. His behaviour isn't acceptable and you should not feel lonely or insecure you should feel loved. He doesn't deserve you. I hope you find the strength to do this x

Posted

At first he seemed caring, respectful and gave me all his attention. But then two weeks in and he started to change. He doesn’t text, doesn’t pick up my call, doesn’t call me back, doesn’t want to hang out. I asked why he changed because I dated him because of who he was before. He said all guys do like that, just want girls to like them and he’s tired of doing that since now we’re living together so he doesn’t have to be “fake” anymore and he still loves me so… I listened to him and let it go.

 

 

You do know what to do, you just don't want to do it. I do agree that men will put in more effort at the beginning of the relationship.. but it shouldn't diminish to nothing. And he's not texting? Doesn't pick up your calls? Doesn't call you back? Doesn't want to hang out with you? Lies to you all the time? Sorry.. it's time to leave.

 

If you are staying with him because you're afraid of being alone.. yes you are weak as hell and it's time to make a change and grow from this. There are men out there who will be nice to you even after 1 year, 2 year, or 10 years and beyond. This man you're with right now? He'll probably leave you if he gets some attention from the "Megan".

 

Stay firm and break up with him. Learn to love yourself and be happy by yourself. Make some friends, join groups on meetup.com or something and meet more people (I have friends using this to meet friends). You only get to live once man.. don't waste any of it on someone who lies to you, doesn't make you happy, and makes you feel the way you do right now.

Posted

This guy is barely into you anymore, and he's already checking out other options.

 

It's time to move back out and date better guys.

Posted (edited)

At first he seemed caring, respectful and gave me all his attention. But then two weeks in and he started to change. He doesn’t text, doesn’t pick up my call, doesn’t call me back, doesn’t want to hang out. I asked why he changed because I dated him because of who he was before. He said all guys do like that, just want girls to like them and he’s tired of doing that since now we’re living together so he doesn’t have to be “fake” anymore and he still loves me so… I listened to him and let it go.

This right here is the reason why you should kick him to the curb....for good.

 

 

His attitude is S^&%, and this is how he feels about you and your relationship...it's S%^& to him.

 

 

He just needed a roommate to share the rent. Find a new place to live.

Edited by smackie9
Posted

Please dump this man, please. I see so many women on this site settling for men who make them feel crappy. YOU DESERVE BETTER.

 

He says he loves you and says you should just listen to that and ignore everything else. Please do NOT listen to him. Actions speak louder than words. I hope you find the strength to be by yourself. You have friends so that's a good thing. I would also recommend meetup.com. It helps you meet and socialize with people in real life.

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