BaileyB Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 I doubt it’s that simple. He has refused to give her his phone in the past and it’s password protected. The only way she gets in is by him giving her the password. I’m thinking it’s more deliberate than that. If it’s deliberate then they are having a discussion that should have happened ages ago and if he’s sharing but still hiding, I can only imagine what that means. I sure hope he deleted FTime, iMessage and call logs as well as my contact numbers, pictures etc. because I sure as hell don’t want her having that. The best way for this woman not to read your messages is not to message secretly with her husband. This is a train wreck, and you seriously can’t distance yourself or look away... 1
Author PhoenixRising8 Posted February 7, 2019 Author Posted February 7, 2019 Are they still in Hawaii? Yes, until Sunday when they head back.
elaine567 Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 Are the kids with them? Unless they have had a huge argument or she has had accidental access to his phone, then it seems pretty bad timing to deliberately bring anything up. 4 days left of hell in Hawaii...
Aloha123 Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 Based on everything you've described it is highly unlikely that he is voluntarily telling her (or ever will tell her) about anything between you and him. His incentive is to maintain or get back to the status quo.
Starswillshine Posted February 7, 2019 Posted February 7, 2019 Wait, he tells you not to text him because his phone will be unsafe.... and you automatically assume this means he is telling her? If he was telling her, then why would he need to hide? And if he is so weak that he supposedly needed to spend the money and the time for this wonderful Hawaii trip to prove to her that they cant make it... I doubt very seriously he would have the balls to try to tell her right here and now. And if he is telling her the truth about it and splitting up.... then he would tell her that nope, she doesnt need the phone. 1
Author PhoenixRising8 Posted February 7, 2019 Author Posted February 7, 2019 Wait, he tells you not to text him because his phone will be unsafe.... and you automatically assume this means he is telling her? If he was telling her, then why would he need to hide? And if he is so weak that he supposedly needed to spend the money and the time for this wonderful Hawaii trip to prove to her that they cant make it... I doubt very seriously he would have the balls to try to tell her right here and now. And if he is telling her the truth about it and splitting up.... then he would tell her that nope, she doesnt need the phone. I'm not assuming he's telling her. I am assuming she now has access to his phone for whatever reason. Maybe she found or saw something. I don't know. No, he wouldn't volunteer anything especially with Dick and Jane around. They're devout Catholics and Dick is his boss.
Author PhoenixRising8 Posted February 8, 2019 Author Posted February 8, 2019 Are the kids with them? Unless they have had a huge argument or she has had accidental access to his phone, then it seems pretty bad timing to deliberately bring anything up. 4 days left of hell in Hawaii... No, the adult kids are at home looking after the dogs. And no, they won't even talk about it voluntarily at home. I doubt they would start that conversation in Hawaii. Which is why I wonder if she came across something accidentally.
elaine567 Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 Sounds to me like he deletes everything you send to him so it was only anything new that would be seen by her if she had his phone. Hence the "My phone is not safe" type communication to warn you off from sending anything incriminating. Of course he may be just trying to prove to her that there is nothing going on. "Here's my phone, completely clean... "
Aloha123 Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 LilKat the reason I thought you might be entertaining the idea that he was telling her about you was this statement you made above. "If it’s deliberate then they are having a discussion that should have happened ages ago." Did you mean something else by that?
Author PhoenixRising8 Posted February 8, 2019 Author Posted February 8, 2019 Sounds to me like he deletes everything you send to him so it was only anything new that would be seen by her if she had his phone. Hence the "My phone is not safe" type communication to warn you off from sending anything incriminating. Of course he may be just trying to prove to her that there is nothing going on. "Here's my phone, completely clean... " Here generally doesn't but he may have now that he's surrounded by her 24/7.
Author PhoenixRising8 Posted February 8, 2019 Author Posted February 8, 2019 (edited) LilKat the reason I thought you might be entertaining the idea that he was telling her about you was this statement you made above. "If it’s deliberate then they are having a discussion that should have happened ages ago." Did you mean something else by that? I don't know what she may have seen or heard in which case who knows what they're discussing. It's the not knowing that's nerve wracking. 5.5 hours so far of waiting and wondering... Edited February 8, 2019 by LilKatKat
elaine567 Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 Your blood pressure will be sky high with the stress of it all.
elaine567 Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 5.5 hours so far of waiting and wondering... Send him a text... LOL!
Author PhoenixRising8 Posted February 8, 2019 Author Posted February 8, 2019 Your blood pressure will be sky high with the stress of it all. Good thing I have low blood pressure then. I am tempted to send a text though ... I know I won't but it's tempting. 1
Starswillshine Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 I don't know what she may have seen or heard in which case who knows what they're discussing. It's the not knowing that's nerve wracking. 5.5 hours so far of waiting and wondering... Whatever the reason, doubtful it has anything to do with being caught. And the reason I say that ... no way would he have been able to go hide to send you that text. The way he text that.... maybe they have to be really close? Who knows. But for whatever reason he doesnt want you texting him. Let that sink in...
Author PhoenixRising8 Posted February 8, 2019 Author Posted February 8, 2019 (edited) Well, what a complete price of crap he is!!! Really...? So now you definitely know he’s a liar! His WIFE never knew a thing about you! He’s kept you a secret all along! I agree that a man who goes to Hawaii with his wife isn't leaving despite what he says about it being about showing her there's nothing left. What I don't agree with is that he never told her. I actually heard some of their conversation where that was the subject. And I heard conversations with both his kids that he doesn't want the marriage. At some point he intended to but that changed for whatever reason. He says he still does but guilt and obligation are preventing him. In the end he hasn't left. That's all that matters. Nothing to do now but wait and see how long he is off the radar. How long he keeps out of touch. Just another strike. Another thing to piss me off. I REALLY want to text. Would serve him right but hurt her so I don't. No way someone can't sneak off for two minutes in a 10 hour period (bathroom break anyone?) to send a quick text of explanation but then the other person would have to be important enough. Edited February 8, 2019 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
BaileyB Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 Here generally doesn't but he may have now that he's surrounded by her 24/7. Well, she is his wife. And, they are on holiday together... isn’t that what married people do when on holiday, surround each other 24/7? Isn’t that what you would do if you were on holiday with him, enjoy your time together? If she is providing 24/7 surveillance on this holiday there is likely good reason... is not the fact that he has cheated before reason enough to have a watchful eye on his activities? Although, why she would bother I could not say... the day that I have to surround my husband 24/7 to keep his focus on me is the day that I will be packing my bags to leave... 1
Author PhoenixRising8 Posted February 8, 2019 Author Posted February 8, 2019 It should be way more than enough for YOU to fully understand just what a total jerk you have there. Take charge of your future - be done with him. How much do you plan to allow him to hurt you? Why aren’t you making YOURSELF a priority? Why do YOU have to always be second? Or third.. It pains me that you keep hurting yourself and your future by continuing with just a big jerk! He’s a common liar! He just texted he hopes I had a good day, loves me and misses me. No explanation. Why do I always put myself second or third? I guess it's what I'm used to ... 1
BaileyB Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 He just texted he hopes I had a good day, loves me and misses me. No explanation. Why do I always put myself second or third? I guess it's what I'm used to ... I’m guess. All is right with the world, I guess... He hopes you had a good day, he still loves you and he misses you. Sweet guy. You have spent yet another day waiting, and worrying, and wondering, and hoping... when are you going to get off this rollercoaster?
Author PhoenixRising8 Posted February 8, 2019 Author Posted February 8, 2019 What a cake eater he is! And cruel! No explanation... and now you’ve wasted ten or more hours wondering for NOTHING! He offers you nothing but lies. He needed to offer no explanation. The picture of them on the beach, smiling with his arm around her says it all. There it is. Finally my confirmation. Confirmation of what I already knew but he denied and I tried to deny to myself. Sucks to be me ...
sagamore Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 He needed to offer no explanation. The picture of them on the beach, smiling with his arm around her says it all. There it is. Finally my confirmation. Confirmation of what I already knew but he denied and I tried to deny to myself. Sucks to be me ... This does suck. So does it end here? This guy will cake eat until the end of time. He’ll be back to tell you, “she made me take the picture...I was thinking of you...” LKK, you will need to be the one who ends this and pulls the plug. Yes it is going to hurt like hell but nothing - NOTHING - is worse than what he is putting you through now with your consent. 1
Author PhoenixRising8 Posted February 8, 2019 Author Posted February 8, 2019 This does suck. So does it end here? This guy will cake eat until the end of time. He’ll be back to tell you, “she made me take the picture...I was thinking of you...” LKK, you will need to be the one who ends this and pulls the plug. Yes it is going to hurt like hell but nothing - NOTHING - is worse than what he is putting you through now with your consent. too funny. It wasn’t her, it was Jane. What could he do or say but comply. I mean it’s not like he could have anticipated friends would want to take pictures of them. Jeez, doesn’t everyone go to Hawaii to show the BS there’s nothing left?
Starswillshine Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 What a prick. And dressing it up so nicely. "Darling..." gag! I am really sorry, Kat. You need to get this jerk out of your life for good. Dont let him worm himself back in. Dont give him the opening. Those sweet words and empty promises. He's quite a piece and will continue as long as you let him.
What_Did_I_Do Posted February 8, 2019 Posted February 8, 2019 LKK, mine did that too. Went on vacation with the family to Hawaii, pictures of them arms around each other at the beach. When I questioned him, his comment was "what, was I supposed to push her away for the photo?". Thing is, there was never anything wrong with their M other than the usual disputes (well, and him being a jack***). As far as I know, they are still together to this day. Go figure. So no, it's extremely unlikely he's using this trip to "have the discussion" with her. Quite the opposite. I hope you gather the strength and courage to pull the plug on this. 1
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