Meet entire family after 1 month

[confused83]

I dont know how to approach the conversation but basically i met her parents and they then invited me to a family event where all her family are there. Weve been dating 5 weeks and its pushing me away. I said id go as her parents asked me at dinner so didnt want to be rude. Now i really dont want to go. Shes just met my parents but i really dont feel ready for this yet as im enjoying dating her. To suddenly be thrown in meeting her entire family... i love that she sees a future with me to want me to go but i am so worried this is all too fast. I kind of dont fully know her yet and i really dont want to go this quickly

 

How do i tell her without 1. Ruining it and 2. Upsetting her entire family when i cancel.

 

My friend suggested going then dont go to future events for a while as they seem to have family gatherings a lot.. but that would surely make it look like i didnt enjoy the 1st time so wont go again. Any advice?

Edited October 19, 2018 by confused83

[Gaeta]

Tell her exactly the way you've just told us.

 

 

 

If she is interested in pursuing with you and has a bit of brain she won't tell her parents the real reason she'll just say something came up and you won't be attending.

[Sunlight72]

Any advice? Well, in my mind you should not think it's such a big deal. It doesn't sound like they think it's a big deal, or they wouldn't have invited you.

 

Just think of them as people, and don't read into it.

 

You said she met your parents - but it doesn't sound like you think that means you're engaged. It's really just people. You're not the center of the world. In this context, basically you're a friend of hers, and it will probably be a large-ish gathering with many other people interacting with each other.

[kendahke]

Why are you two meeting each other's parents this soon?

[d0nnivain]

Stop thinking of it as a pressure situation. You are simply meeting people. Yes those people are her family but it's not an audition to be her spouse or an announcement that you are anything more then just dating. Go. Be pleasant. Have some interesting conversations. Enjoy some good food. Then return home.

 

If you really can't do that, bow out sooner rather than later.

[Art_Critic]

Everybody is different, some people consider meeting the parents/family "The Next Step" and with it comes more commitment and if that's the case and it's the next step kinda thing and you are not ready then you have to say something...

 

However....

 

Some people don't consider it "The Next Step" and it's no biggie...

 

I'm like that.. if I dated a girl she normally met my family very quickly..I work with my family so they are in my face each day...

So meeting my family is nothing.... it's isn't the next step kinda thing with me.. it's just meeting my friends...

 

I have dated girls before that sooner or later they wind up seeing my company, it is who I am and if a relationship takes off it's all part of the getting to know someone, and then they meet my family.. or at least the ones who I work with.

 

Figure out why it's a big deal to you, do you consider it a commitment and you are not ready to commit yet to the relationship ?

[basil67]

Meeting someone's parents and family doesn't necessarily mean anything other than they are social and want to include you. It's quite likely your girlfriend always has the option of a plus 1 if she wants to bring someone. And even if her taking you does mean that she's really into you, so what? It doesn't mean you have to be more serious than you are.

 

Go. Be social. Have fun. Eat well.