OMG what happened! I'm too old for dating and need a translator.

[ChatroomHero]

Wow. 11 times. That says so much more about her than it does about you. Why would she have wasted her time doing that though? I'm obviously far too straight up and open about things, I'd never dream of doing that to somebody. I'm glad you got closure and found out the truth, otherwise you'd have been questioning yourself for a long time.

 

 

After your story and after the way this guy behaved post 3rd date and blaming me for some things, I think I've dodged a bigger bullet than I realised, and I don't think good things will come from a relationship with him for anybody. I prefer life to remain less complicated for sure.

 

 

I'm the same way. I couldn't figure out the point for her. I knew after the 2nd time and suspected after the first time, she was a time waster. I just

 

 

The last time, I was making a decent dinner just to make it and she invited herself over for dinner the same day and asked me to wait until 7:30 to eat so she could get to my place from work. I just kind of laughed and said sure, and lo and behold, at 7:45 she had not showed up, called or cancelled. Good thing I ate at 6:30 anyway. lol. I texted her a little later and she gave an excuse about her suddenly having to take her kid to practice because her ex had to work late.

 

 

I expect you are straight forward like me and the only other people that are compatible are the people that come through, do what they say and treat you honestly. The other ones might work for a while but the older I get the less interested I am in entertaining someone like that. The ones that make it tough to see them are always running a game on you.

[bathtub-row]

There are a LOT - and I mean a LOT - of pure, indisputable jerks on the online dating sites and I’d suggest you either wise up quickly or get off the sites. Personally, I can’t stand them. My view of the world would become completely jaded if I continued. If I can’t meet a guy the usual way, then so be it. I don’t need the headache.

 

My guess is, pretty much everything this guy said to you was a lie, including all the travel. When he made that statement about not chasing you, he was using reverse psychology on you, trying to get you to feel anxious and start chasing him. Learn to cut these kinds of people out of your life as quickly as they can spew that rhetoric out of their mouths. Most of the guys on those sites are there because they’re abusive and/or because it’s a jerk’s playground.

 

Being naive and gullible will not serve you in that venue. I promise. You need to sit back and let the guy show you what his real character is before getting involved with him.

[thefooloftheyear]

There are a LOT - and I mean a LOT - of pure, indisputable jerks on the online dating sites and I’d suggest you either wise up quickly or get off the sites. Personally, I can’t stand them. My view of the world would become completely jaded if I continued. If I can’t meet a guy the usual way, then so be it. I don’t need the headache.

 

.

 

I know nothing of OLD, but from what a few of the guys I know(all 40's through early 60's) who did it, they started with good intentions only to find easy and willing(dare I say desperate?) women that are basically handing themselves to these guys on a silver platter, with zero effort...Some of these guys are nothing special and probably struggled in their early days...So now they feel like a kid in a candy store...It winds up making legit players out of average Joe's..

 

Most of these same guys I know all eventually settled down, but certainly took advantage of the easy time while they were looking for the ideal mate...Maybe its not nice, but no one twisted anyone's arm...

 

TFY

[bathtub-row]

I know nothing of OLD, but from what a few of the guys I know(all 40's through early 60's) who did it, they started with good intentions only to find easy and willing(dare I say desperate?) women that are basically handing themselves to these guys on a silver platter, with zero effort...Some of these guys are nothing special and probably struggled in their early days...So now they feel like a kid in a candy store...It winds up making legit players out of average Joe's..

 

Most of these same guys I know all eventually settled down, but certainly took advantage of the easy time while they were looking for the ideal mate...Maybe its not nice, but no one twisted anyone's arm...

 

TFY

 

I never got past one or two conversations with any of the men. I completely ignored the obviously too young ones, the ones that hinted at anything sexual in their usernames, etc. After filtering those clowns, then there were the others. My particular pet peeve is instant messaging. I mean, how invasive can these things get? One guy actually got angry with me when I politely stated that I wasn’t a fan of it. One guy said “I miss you” after one conversation. Me being me, I asked how could he possibly miss me when we had barely spoken. Those are the nice ones. One guy went completely ballistic over me not being able to meet with him right away. I bowed out of that stuff a long time ago. I like men and but those sites were making me jaded.

[weeble78]

I'm the same way. I couldn't figure out the point for her. I knew after the 2nd time and suspected after the first time, she was a time waster. I just

 

 

The last time, I was making a decent dinner just to make it and she invited herself over for dinner the same day and asked me to wait until 7:30 to eat so she could get to my place from work. I just kind of laughed and said sure, and lo and behold, at 7:45 she had not showed up, called or cancelled. Good thing I ate at 6:30 anyway. lol. I texted her a little later and she gave an excuse about her suddenly having to take her kid to practice because her ex had to work late.

 

 

I expect you are straight forward like me and the only other people that are compatible are the people that come through, do what they say and treat you honestly. The other ones might work for a while but the older I get the less interested I am in entertaining someone like that. The ones that make it tough to see them are always running a game on you.

 

Yeah it's funny how most people aren't straight forward. I have actually met 3 lovely guys and stayed friends with them. And they are very straight forward like me. It's hard not to give up completely though.

[weeble78]

There are a LOT - and I mean a LOT - of pure, indisputable jerks on the online dating sites and I’d suggest you either wise up quickly or get off the sites. Personally, I can’t stand them. My view of the world would become completely jaded if I continued. If I can’t meet a guy the usual way, then so be it. I don’t need the headache.

 

My guess is, pretty much everything this guy said to you was a lie, including all the travel. When he made that statement about not chasing you, he was using reverse psychology on you, trying to get you to feel anxious and start chasing him. Learn to cut these kinds of people out of your life as quickly as they can spew that rhetoric out of their mouths. Most of the guys on those sites are there because they’re abusive and/or because it’s a jerk’s playground.

 

Being naive and gullible will not serve you in that venue. I promise. You need to sit back and let the guy show you what his real character is before getting involved with him.

 

I like to think I have some d!ckhead alert available to me. I've met a few lovely people who I've stayed friends with but a LOT of idiotic guys who want to attempt to sleep with me. It's fairly easy to spot these, but you get the few headaches who I find very hard to spot. Im very upfront about what I expect and I've got to say I feel there is a small group of people who find that to be a challenge.

 

You're right though. It's hard not to become jaded. I've given up quite a few times and am happier on my own, but I would still love to be part of a family again. I'm trying not to be too hard nosed but am obviously too naïve for this sort of thing.

 

It was funny, I felt weird when he said that about chasing but I didn't know why. And using reverse psychology I just mirrored his behaviour back to him. Except he didn't like it when I said it Honestly? I don't understand why sleeping with someone is that worth all the hassle.

 

Thanks for your input

[weeble78]

I know nothing of OLD, but from what a few of the guys I know(all 40's through early 60's) who did it, they started with good intentions only to find easy and willing(dare I say desperate?) women that are basically handing themselves to these guys on a silver platter, with zero effort...Some of these guys are nothing special and probably struggled in their early days...So now they feel like a kid in a candy store...It winds up making legit players out of average Joe's..

 

Most of these same guys I know all eventually settled down, but certainly took advantage of the easy time while they were looking for the ideal mate...Maybe its not nice, but no one twisted anyone's arm...

 

TFY

 

But there are just as many guys on there in the same position. Who want to believe they'll meet their one and only and make themselves vulnerable. It would be easy to take advantage if you want to. I guess the trick is to be vulnerable but strong enough to deal with whatever the outcome. There will always be desperate people in this world whether it be online or otherwise. Maybe people just need to wise up more when using these sites, that you'll be exposed to people you may not have been otherwise in the real world.

[bathtub-row]

Women get bamboozled quite often because they can’t fathom the lengths that a lot of men will go to to have sex. But whether we choose to comprehend that fact or not, it is alive and well.

[bathtub-row]

The trick is actually this - develop a thick skin, be yourself when talking or when on a date, but always be wary and don’t trust anyone who hasn’t earned your trust. Don’t go to a stranger’s house and don’t invite them to yours. Don’t add them to your social media - do nothing until you have decided he’s the real deal. It’s not about not being yourself. It’s about keeping your boundaries tight until you know the person better.

[weeble78]

The trick is actually this - develop a thick skin, be yourself when talking or when on a date, but always be wary and don’t trust anyone who hasn’t earned your trust. Don’t go to a stranger’s house and don’t invite them to yours. Don’t add them to your social media - do nothing until you have decided he’s the real deal. It’s not about not being yourself. It’s about keeping your boundaries tight until you know the person better.

 

I guess it never hurts to stay semi-closed. I firmly believe you never really know anybody truly, but am starting to realise I need to meet someone who is just as happy to do things for me as I am to push things along. I'm so fed up of being disappointed by people and yes the sex thing. I mean really. There are loads of ways of getting easy sex without having to create a whole fake persona and go on rubbish dates!

 

Guys - what's with that?!

 

With the social media though, I do tend to try and add people quickly to assess what they're like, their social circle and how genuine they are about things they've told me about their life. For example, this guy said he didn't have any social media and withheld his surname and address until the last minute. After getting his surname I found him on several social media sites but with all privacy settings in place so everything is hidden.

[weeble78]

Actually someone earlier made me think.

 

His ex was from France. She apparently moved back there and left him for good and he's never seen her again. When I googled him for social media sites he told me he refuses to use them ( I do that after checking one guy to find out he'd been done for assault), I found him on one site with 3 friends, one the name of a French girl. Only joined 4 months ago, nothing else on there. He'd told me she blocked him 6 months ago and wouldn't respond to him. When I was over at his house he had loads of photos up on the mantelpiece and there was one with his son and this dark haired woman who looks very similar to the friend on the social site. I hadn't noticed when I was perusing them and he said 'oh don't worry about that woman in the picture'. But tbh I thought it could be anyone so didn't ask.

 

He's just come up with a new contract for work starting in Belgium, close to France.

 

If I decided to do some suspicious adding up I'd say he's still trying to be in touch with her, or maybe even still together.

 

Anyway, if I hear from him again I'll be sure to share as you've all given me the time to talk about it thank you.

[thefooloftheyear]

Women get bamboozled quite often because they can’t fathom the lengths that a lot of men will go to to have sex. But whether we choose to comprehend that fact or not, it is alive and well.

 

 

 

I wish I could show you some of the text logs these guys showed me...The women weren't "innocent victims" getting bamboozled....They were the aggressors, they did the initiating, they started with the sexual talk, they sent pics(without being asked, btw)...

 

The way I saw it, they were using whatever bait they thought would give them the best chance to catch fish...I dunno..

 

Not saying what you are posting isn't true, because I am sure it is.. but let's not just assume all guys getting sex easily on OLD are out there playing tricks on poor innocent women...Because its not always the case...

 

The funniest part is that these same women would also get pissed off at these guys for dropping off the map...

 

TFY

[bathtub-row]

I wish I could show you some of the text logs these guys showed me...The women weren't "innocent victims" getting bamboozled....They were the aggressors, they did the initiating, they started with the sexual talk, they sent pics(without being asked, btw)...

 

The way I saw it, they were using whatever bait they thought would give them the best chance to catch fish...I dunno..

 

Not saying what you are posting isn't true, because I am sure it is.. but let's not just assume all guys getting sex easily on OLD are out there playing tricks on poor innocent women...Because its not always the case...

 

The funniest part is that these same women would also get pissed off at these guys for dropping off the map...

 

TFY

 

Oh, yeah, I totally believe you. I was making reference to OP who seems a little gullible.

[Redhead14]

Hello!

 

Second post of the day.

 

So I think I need some help. I've been in 2 LT relationships and not dated around much as I don't have the patience.

 

Met a guy online 4 months back. Went on a date. Chatted a little previously. He drove 90 miles to come on the date and go back the next day. Went for drinks at my local, amazing fun. Gave me a ride home, kissed, it was off the scale (ok so I haven't kissed anyone in a looooong time ) He arranges 2nd date off the bat. Cancels due to an unforeseen tax return that needed doing (reeeeeally?). Reschedules straight away. I can't make next one so try to rearrange then he vanishes. There's never that much text chat inbetween either, although he's more than happy to pick up the phone to chat which makes a nice change.

 

So fast forward 3 months later. I messaged him on WhatsApp. I know I know, I'd been dating around then saw he'd changed his profile pic. It looked good so I messaged him ha. After 1 text he apologised profusely and asked me out again. Tbh I assumed he'd been talking to someone else besides me and got sidetracked. He said he'd been busy with work (he travels all over the world) and felt he'd left things too long.

 

He organised 2nd date. Then day before he cancelled saying his flight was delayed so booked again the next day. Then morning of he cancelled again. So I said that's fine but no more dates. He said he was determined to see me so I said he could turn up at my house and take me out for coffee but I wouldn't arrange anything, he'd just have to catch me at home. So he did. Great. Another great time and again he asked for a proper date. I said I'd let him know and he said he wasn't going to chase me (which tbh I think guys should, particularly if they've let you down). I let him wait for a few days then confirmed.

 

He invited me to dinner at his house as he had his little boy and couldn't get a sitter. Great dinner, lovely time etc. He basically spent the date grilling me about my past and my attitude to relationships and about my family and history. I actually felt a little interrogated. We kissed and at the end of the date he said he'd had a great time and to message when Id got back.

 

So I did. Except he'd switched off his phone. He read my message the next morning and didn't reply. I messaged in the evening to say Id had a great evening and had been thinking about him. Nothing til the next day then he reciprocated, saying he wanted to see me again.

 

So we tried to organise a day (he's only home on weekends) but I've been away on holiday for a week. Didn't get to see him before, and didn't really hear from him that much before I left. Didn't hear on holiday either so I sent him a hey message teasing him that I wasn't going to chase him either. No reply. Later on in the week still no reply so I messaged to say I was having a great time but surprised not to hear from him. He apologised then said my comment about not chasing him had put him off but he wanted to know when I was back. I asked him to elaborate and he blanked me again! I got annoyed then and said I'd take it all as a not interested (yeah probably shouldn't have said that but really we're all adults) but said it had been fun. He messaged back annoyed saying he hadn't replied as I was on holiday but that he'd call me the next day.

 

Next day surprisingly he didn't call just changed his profile pic a few times. Which I thought was rude but shot him a message asking him to call if he wanted as I was falling asleep. He didn't call, just replied later saying he'd been having a drama with his card. I was then really annoyed he didn't phone (he's done it before) so just said good night. It pi**ed him off and he said 'nice, goodnight. In fact. Goodbye.' So I said sorry he felt that way, hope he got it sorted out and ciao.

 

Er I guess I'm trying to work out if this is my fault for hassling him. I could probably have been cooler and not responded to him being online and not calling me etc etc but it just seemed childish when we had chance to chat quickly before bed.

 

anyway. I'm rubbish at gauging how I should respond so I'd really appreciate if I could get some feedback on whether it was my behaviour has been pushy and demanding and annoyed him, or whether he was messing me about/not interested anyway and I've saved myself some time.

 

I hate dating!

 

Thank you!

 

He drove 90 miles to come on the date and go back the next day.

 

Frankly, I think the distance thing would be difficult to manage anyway. I'm not so sure he'd drive 90 miles for a date if he didn't hope to get laid at least.

 

I'm thinking you just kinda set yourself up as a back burner girl. You're 90 miles away, he has dates with women who are closer and if they aren't available, you'll do. He cancels numerous times, you continue contact so he gives just enough to make it seem like there's still interest so that you're 'still there' when needed.

 

Let the man lead for the first few dates. Keep light contact, but let him initiate. After the 3rd date, then you should do a little bit more initiating. Let his interest be demonstrated more clearly. Sit back and relax. For the first few dates, you are in receptive mode for the most part.

 

If they disappear for a while, especially 3 months, it's a no go. Don't reach out after so long. This guy ghosted you. Treat him like one - invisible.

 

This guy didn't really want to drive 90 miles or even half way probably on a regular basis. He made dates with you, but when it got down to actually going, he got lazy or found another closer date.

[weeble78]

He drove 90 miles to come on the date and go back the next day.

 

Frankly, I think the distance thing would be difficult to manage anyway. I'm not so sure he'd drive 90 miles for a date if he didn't hope to get laid at least.

 

I'm thinking you just kinda set yourself up as a back burner girl. You're 90 miles away, he has dates with women who are closer and if they aren't available, you'll do. He cancels numerous times, you continue contact so he gives just enough to make it seem like there's still interest so that you're 'still there' when needed.

 

Let the man lead for the first few dates. Keep light contact, but let him initiate. After the 3rd date, then you should do a little bit more initiating. Let his interest be demonstrated more clearly. Sit back and relax. For the first few dates, you are in receptive mode for the most part.

 

If they disappear for a while, especially 3 months, it's a no go. Don't reach out after so long. This guy ghosted you. Treat him like one - invisible.

 

This guy didn't really want to drive 90 miles or even half way probably on a regular basis. He made dates with you, but when it got down to actually going, he got lazy or found another closer date.

 

Maybe he'd hoped to get laid, but that was never on the table from my point of view and I'd already laid that out to him. But, some guys maybe like to be optimistic I guess. I'm pretty straight with the sex thing, as it clears out a lot of expectation straight off the bat. The way he behaved since leads me to believe maybe he didn't even drive that far. he was trying to impress me when he told me. We hadn't even spoken that much and I found it strange someone would go that far for someone they didn't know that well.

 

Also the 90 miles is where his HQ is which he rarely visits. He's away in the week then home at weekends, which is about 15 mins from me. I thought that seemed pretty reasonable. Also he's planning to give up the travelling for his son and concentrate on his second business which is based in town here. All seemed pretty promising to me.

 

I do agree with the back burner thing though and think that's exactly what he was doing, although he knew that I was still dating and had plans to meet up with other people so it wasn't an issue. I let him ask for and plan the dates, but I did initiate contact once or twice. I didn't realise that's something you should never really do and haven't played that game before as I'm not used to leaving all decisions up to someone else. I'll definitely do it next time though.

 

I'm pretty happy I didn't get mixed up with him but was baffled by the way he behaved. It makes more sense now, thanks.

[Redhead14]

Maybe he'd hoped to get laid, but that was never on the table from my point of view and I'd already laid that out to him. But, some guys maybe like to be optimistic I guess. I'm pretty straight with the sex thing, as it clears out a lot of expectation straight off the bat. The way he behaved since leads me to believe maybe he didn't even drive that far. he was trying to impress me when he told me. We hadn't even spoken that much and I found it strange someone would go that far for someone they didn't know that well.

 

Also the 90 miles is where his HQ is which he rarely visits. He's away in the week then home at weekends, which is about 15 mins from me. I thought that seemed pretty reasonable. Also he's planning to give up the travelling for his son and concentrate on his second business which is based in town here. All seemed pretty promising to me.

 

I do agree with the back burner thing though and think that's exactly what he was doing, although he knew that I was still dating and had plans to meet up with other people so it wasn't an issue. I let him ask for and plan the dates, but I did initiate contact once or twice. I didn't realise that's something you should never really do and haven't played that game before as I'm not used to leaving all decisions up to someone else. I'll definitely do it next time though.

 

I'm pretty happy I didn't get mixed up with him but was baffled by the way he behaved. It makes more sense now, thanks.

 

I didn't realise that's something you should never really do

-- It's not so much a 'never do' thing as much as something you should be prepared to do if the guy isn't demonstrating his interest very well say after the second date. If he's seems really into you and is initiating a lot of quality contact in between, etc., I'd say, go ahead and initiate a little bit in terms of communication at least. But when you do it, you sit back and give back the "reins" so to speak. Try not to be over-eager. Try to keep it balanced.

 

Even if say after the 3rd date, you initiate the 4th, leave it there. Let him initiate the next one or even a couple but start pointing things to being more more reciprocal. And then, step back a bit here and there and observe. You don't have to be on this approach forever, just until things seem to be stabilized and consistent with him. If that isn't happening, then you're probably not a match anyway.

Edited October 20, 2018 by Redhead14

[Chilli]

Yeah , probably not good l'd say sorry.

And much to everyones disbelief l'd say but there's a lot of other reasons guys might keep someone around too.

loneliness , some female company , unsure, lots of things.

But you could always talk to him , ask him about all this and what he's doing , just to be sure.

Yeah sure he might not be honest about it but you also might hear something else.

[Logo]

Welcome to dating in 2018.

 

Arbitrary dating rituals and rules are only going to get worse.

 

 

Here are a couple to get you started:

 

 

If a man asks you to go out on a date later that same day, he’s only interested in sex. That covers the world’s entire 4 billion male population.

 

 

If a man calls you before the 72 hour (3day) cutoff time, ghost him or make up an excuse not to go out with him.

 

 

Do not be natural or be yourself. Adhere to these strict arbitrary rules and you’ll find someone mature and relationship worthy.

[elaine567]

To be fair I forgot to mention that I am also talking to and potentially dating others and was open about it with him. This may have made a difference. He asked if I was so I told him and this was where the chasing comment came in. Still though, I didn't expect him to say this. I assumed that most people online dating are talking to multiple people at a time as it seems hard not to be. I did feel like I annoyed him a little so will hold up my hands, but still think he should have been more into me than that after several dates and weeks.

 

Yes, multi-dating is common but not everyone agrees with it.

There is the ewww factor for some.

He is the father of a little boy, maybe he would prefer if anyone he dates is a tad more monogamous.

Some men prefer not to compete for the attention of women who are talking to other men too.

 

BTW you did hassle him, he cancels, he vanishes, he doesn't call, and you persist and persist, until he finally has to tell you "Good bye".

[weeble78]

Yes, multi-dating is common but not everyone agrees with it.

There is the ewww factor for some.

He is the father of a little boy, maybe he would prefer if anyone he dates is a tad more monogamous.

Some men prefer not to compete for the attention of women who are talking to other men too.

 

BTW you did hassle him, he cancels, he vanishes, he doesn't call, and you persist and persist, until he finally has to tell you "Good bye".

 

So what was happening was I wasn't actively multi-dating. I'd been speaking to someone (B)for months and we'd finally arranged a meet, I told this guy J about it and felt I owed 2nd guy the time as we'd been talking for so long. J was upfront and said he didn't want me to go on the date but he wasn't going to compete. In the end the date didn't happen (B turned into a flake), and I told J I wasn't interested in dating any other guys.

 

This is where I think things are difficult as J made it clear he didn't like me dating or talking to other girls. He said several times he wasn't talking to anyone else and I just told him the truth. I made sure he knew I was interested in dating and he said the same to me.

 

He told me goodbye because he got annoyed that I didn't want to text chat instead of a quick call he'd promised, as I was on my way to bed. I currently have flu. I said goodnight to him and he got irritated and said it back, then said 'in fact, goodbye'. I think he was being snippy with me.

 

These things are where I get confused. Should I have ignored B and told J so, telling him I wanted to date only him and wouldn't look at other guys any more? It was only our 3rd date and with everything else that had happened I didn't have much faith in him.

 

If anyone thinks this could be my fault I would absolutely contact him and ask for a chat.

[weeble78]

I didn't realise that's something you should never really do

-- It's not so much a 'never do' thing as much as something you should be prepared to do if the guy isn't demonstrating his interest very well say after the second date. If he's seems really into you and is initiating a lot of quality contact in between, etc., I'd say, go ahead and initiate a little bit in terms of communication at least. But when you do it, you sit back and give back the "reins" so to speak. Try not to be over-eager. Try to keep it balanced.

 

Even if say after the 3rd date, you initiate the 4th, leave it there. Let him initiate the next one or even a couple but start pointing things to being more more reciprocal. And then, step back a bit here and there and observe. You don't have to be on this approach forever, just until things seem to be stabilized and consistent with him. If that isn't happening, then you're probably not a match anyway.

 

Interest demonstrated was nice in terms of how much he said he wanted to see me again but not much other communication inbetween. Usually guys tend to keep up the messaging. Noted you say until stabilised and consistent I shall add this to my dating rules list thank you

[weeble78]

I know a LOT of really busy men.

 

When they want to date a woman - they MAKE time!

 

This guy was evasive and manipulative.

 

Yet you kept asking for more of the same.

 

He seriously made almost NO effort. And you told him to make even less effort by just stopping by.

 

 

He never intended to make effort.

 

He was active on his dating profile - changing the picture often... that should tell you he was making effort to date lots of gals.

 

We don't know if he really travels for work, really had a tax appt - and all the other excuses he came up with - we don't know what is real and what isn't.

 

But when a man can't see you it's because he doesn't have you as a priority.

 

Busy men MAKE time to see someone they are interested in.

 

This guy was a dud.

 

But the way I saw it he was the one who did all the driving and made all the plans and also intiated 90% of the contact. I felt like that equalled effort?

 

Also I only have 1 night a week and a weekend every other week free to see people. So plans very often have to be made around my free time and he was pretty acocmodating around that driving back from work for me. He'd have seen me sooner but I don't like to break up the tiem I have with my daughter so don't tend to make plans. He has a son so understood, and the night he invited me over for dinner was because he didn't have anyone to look after his son. He could have cancelled and said he felt crazy because I've never met his son, but really wanted to see me.

 

These are reasons I thought would show he was making the effort. This is why I'm clearly a hopeless case and getting it wrong

 

The photo was on his messaging, not his dating profile. I deleted him as soon as I had his number so I don't know if he's been dating or not.

[weeble78]

Welcome to dating in 2018.

 

Arbitrary dating rituals and rules are only going to get worse.

 

 

Here are a couple to get you started:

 

 

If a man asks you to go out on a date later that same day, he’s only interested in sex. That covers the world’s entire 4 billion male population.

 

 

If a man calls you before the 72 hour (3day) cutoff time, ghost him or make up an excuse not to go out with him.

 

 

Do not be natural or be yourself. Adhere to these strict arbitrary rules and you’ll find someone mature and relationship worthy.

 

Hello Logo - is this serious?!

 

1. I understand and understand the principle of value. Got it.

2. Do you mean to cancel? /I've cancelled day before or day of due to emergency before, this seems a little harsh! But I understand if it's realy necessary to weed out d!ckheads.

3. Wow. Seriously really truly? Do not be natural or yourself? I'm absolutely lost then.

 

In other news, I'm definitely interested in hearin gany other dating rules you have.

 

Thank you

[Logo]

I’m kind of expressing my frustrations but also including some of the most arbitrary and annoying behaviors I’ve come across.

 

It’s serious enough that I hear it often in the real world and it drives me up the wall trying to figure out if there are any sane and mature people out there. Ok, it’s not that bad. But it’s frustrating.

 

Each gender has developed for itself a set of dating rules. So it seems.

 

 

I want to be myself. If I like someone I’ve just met, I don’t want to sit around for 3 days waiting to ask her out nor do I want to have to wait a week if we both happen to have the rest of the day free and it’s a beautiful day. Why not take advantage of it and enjoy it?

 

 

I guess what I’m saying, in today’s dating world, you’re going to have to grow very thick skin. Have the resilience and tenacity of an ant and be sure to drink your protein shake before the date because you’re going to be taking a Personality Aptitude Test by the other person — not simply enjoying the date or getting to know the other person— and you better pass it or else your date will be back catalogue shopping.

 

 

Ok. I’m finished. That was cathartic.

 

 

 

To be candid, I’ve learned a lot about other people’s relationship problems on LS, but at the same time I’m getting a glimpse into the mindsets of other people’s significant others, those who’ve wronged them, or played games with them or lied to them. All that, in addition to my own experiences. {Deep breath} lol

[Redhead14]

Interest demonstrated was nice in terms of how much he said he wanted to see me again but not much other communication inbetween. Usually guys tend to keep up the messaging. Noted you say until stabilised and consistent I shall add this to my dating rules list thank you

 

Don't think of it as a rule, per se. Just a little more insight about how to handle certain situations. Rule is too rigid a word, it doesn't allow for instinct and/or observation of the merits of each circumstance.