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How to stop wife getting jealous of other women at health club?

LoveFiend

By LoveFiend
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

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LoveFiend Established Member

LoveFiend

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My wife gets like insanely jealous of any woman I come even in close proximity to at the local health club we work out at. She will accuse me of having ideas of cheating with any woman I even take a look at over there. They are all really fit and very attractive and dress in very tight fitting clothes that show off their figure and my wife will get incredibly jealous of their looks.

 

She claims I have a problem staring at other women and checking them out when I work out. She makes up stuff all the time and says women have come up to her and asked her why "is your husband starring at me" and also said that women at the health club complain to her that I make them feel uncomfortable. All this is B.S. I think my just makes up because she is jealous of them.

 

I will admit I do briefly have a habit, like all men do, of starring at the behind of very attractive women in very tight fitting clothes when they walk by. It is not like I am starring at them all day only take a brief look when they walk by and don't notice me looking. It is like a reflex reaction I can't control, just happens. My wife will see me do this and get overly mad for no reason. Get overly jealous and ask me why I was checking out that woman and say if your so in love with her why don't you go sleep with her. Then she will cry and say I wish I was as pretty as her.

 

Even women who say "hi" to me and the gym or smile at me or decide to work out next to me while I am working out she will get jealous of. She got so jealous of one woman who works at a gas station for just smiling at me and saying "hi" because she recognized me at the gas station. Later when my wife was busy in the women's room she later came up to me and said she just wanted to say "hi" to me and talk to me longer because she sensed my wife was the jealous type and didn't want to cause any problems.

 

My wife swears up and down that the woman from the gas station was flirting with me and other women too. I tell her that's crazy I am not that attractive and she says it's because your married, women want to cheat with the married guys. I call her nuts and this is insane I tell her they know I am married and some of them are married too. She tells me big deal married people cheat on their spouses with other married people all the time. I tell her that's very rare and she tells me where she is from happens all the time she saw it all the time happening in her family growing up.

 

How can i get my wife to just relax with the jealousy?

elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

Posted
Posted

 

How can i get my wife to just relax with the jealousy?

 

You can't as long as you choose to work out at a place full of fit toned and beautiful woman and you have the "uncontrollable" habit of checking them out...

  • Like 1
basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted (edited)

Lovefiend, a quick look at your history explains a lot of your wife's concerns. Do you not understand why she has reservations about you?

 

As an aside, have you not learned to check women out in a manner which is so discreet that your wife doesn't notice?

Edited by basil67
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Mr. Lucky Established Member

Mr. Lucky

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Lovefiend, a quick look at your history explains a lot of your wife's concerns. Do you not understand why she has reservations about you?

 

Really thought there were two sides to this story, glad you're thorough enough to understand the backstory.

 

I've met very few jealous and insecure spouses who weren't given some legitimate reason for feeling that way...

 

Mr. Lucky

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LoveFiend Established Member

LoveFiend

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But aside from my history her behavior is crazy regardless even if a man never did that in his past her behavior at the gym is crazy for acting that way.

 

She is also crazy with my Facebook friends. I can't have women on Facebook as friends it's insane. She gets so upset just for me having women on Facebook as friends. Even women who are friends of some of my friends. I admitted a couple I dated before, or some I was crazy about earlier in life and I liked before. I told her how hot some of the girls were on Facebook and at one time was crazy about them. I admitted slept with a couple of women on Facebook friends list in past only when was drunk since she got so upset I had sex with them many years ago I took it back and said that wasn't really true just to calm her down. It's silly they are just Facebook friends.

basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted
But aside from my history her behavior is crazy regardless even if a man never did that in his past her behavior at the gym is crazy for acting that way.

 

She is also crazy with my Facebook friends. I can't have women on Facebook as friends it's insane. She gets so upset just for me having women on Facebook as friends. Even women who are friends of some of my friends. I admitted a couple I dated before, or some I was crazy about earlier in life and I liked before. I told her how hot some of the girls were on Facebook and at one time was crazy about them. I admitted slept with a couple of women on Facebook friends list in past only when was drunk since she got so upset I had sex with them many years ago I took it back and said that wasn't really true just to calm her down. It's silly they are just Facebook friends.

 

You're being ridiculous. In your thread How do I tell my wife I had 30 prostitutes in the past you admit to being a sex addict. You don't see what is wrong with rubbing your face in the breasts of strippers and knowing your wife doesn't believe in divorce, you state that you manipulate her.

 

Her current reactions are a DIRECT RESULT of your behaviour. This is your fault.

  • Like 1
misspalmy Established Member

misspalmy

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Its not very heathy for you having her act like that around any woman you talk to. Just keep tell her. you love her and only want her,

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LoveFiend Established Member

LoveFiend

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Its not very heathy for you having her act like that around any woman you talk to. Just keep tell her. you love her and only want her,

 

Yeah thats what her Doctor tells her that all the stress she is having in her life now is causing her to get high blood pressure and that's not good since she has a history of it in her family. My wife blames me for the stress.

 

I tell her a lot of it is her fault she stresses herself out by totally overacting to everything I do instead of just taking a "chill pill" and just relax. Like the other day on Facebook she noticed I was continually looking at one of my female friends Facebook profiles over and over again over the past few days. She totally over reacts just to Facebook and yells at me "why you keep checking out that woman on Facebook and hide from me that your looking at her pictures when I walk in the room?". She is a very attractive girl from my high school and was our prom queen. A lot guys from high school probably just added her to Facebook friends list so they can have a little "eye candy" now and then. My wife doesn't get this. No feelings for the girl and she is way out of my league. I tried explaining this to my wife she had nothing to worry about, but she just gets so irrational and calls me a cheater just because I enjoy starring at pictures of really hot women on Facebook.

 

She also totally reacts to any restaurant where women dress sexy at, it's ridiculous. Like I took her to Hooters where they have really good wings and my wife totally over reacts. We went there because her sister works as a waitress there. Both her sister and me tell her it's a family restaurant, my wife totally over reacts and calls the waitresses whores and calls them filth for dressing in tight fitting clothes. I just joke around and tell my wife what a really nice pair of breasts her sister has and she has a really nice rear end and that I could see how any man would love to hump her. She goes crazy on me "thats my sister *******". I was a little drunk at the time and my wife forgave me for acting that way cause I was drunk.

 

I mean even when I try tell her a compliment about her sister. That I myself find her hot and she has a nice figure, nice size breasts and a nice behind and I find her sister very sexually attractive ... my wife likes totally overreacts and takes it the wrong way. She even gets mad just because I check out her sister and catches me staring at her rear end sometimes... I mean I tell her not to worry about she is family to me now. I would never mess around with her sister she is way out of my league, she has a boyfriend, and way more attractive than my wife. My wife takes this the wrong way and crys and says "thanks a lot so my sister is pretty and I am ugly! Is that what you saying". I tell her no dating and marriage is like economics, not so attractive people hook up together and very hot attractive people hook up together.

BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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She is also crazy with my Facebook friends. I can't have women on Facebook as friends it's insane.

 

I admitted a couple I dated before, or some I was crazy about earlier in life and I liked before. I told her how hot some of the girls were on Facebook and at one time was crazy about them. I admitted slept with a couple of women on Facebook friends list in past only when was drunk.

 

And, are some of these "Facebook friends" also prostitutes?

 

Seriously, you have answered your own question here. She clearly has reason to be concerned. And as has previously been said, her concern is a direct result of your behavior.

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BaileyB Established Member

BaileyB

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I mean even when I try tell her a compliment about her sister. That I myself find her hot and she has a nice figure, nice size breasts and a nice behind and I find her sister very sexually attractive ... my wife likes totally overreacts and takes it the wrong way. She even gets mad just because I check out her sister and catches me staring at her rear end sometimes... I mean I tell her not to worry about she is family to me now.

 

How could one possibly take this the right way?

 

If she didn't run you over with the car, I would say that she took this fairly well... ;)

 

Seriously, you can't possibly be this obtuse.

  • Like 1
elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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Seriously, you can't possibly be this obtuse.

 

 

That is weird, that is exactly what I was just about to post.

Great minds...

 

 

OP, please divorce the poor woman, and put her out of her misery.

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Carpe Diem Member

Carpe Diem

Posted
Posted
OP, please divorce the poor woman, and put her out of her misery.

 

You have admitted that you are a liar, manipulator, sex addict and serial adulterer.

 

You are also trying to manipulate us (other posters) with your cherry picked ‘woe is me, my wife is crazy jealous’ spiel. Most of us are old enough and have lived enough to see through it. That’s why you’re getting the commments you are.

 

Your wife is foolish and naive if she sadly thinks that watching you like a hawk 24/7 and listening to you call her crazy, is somehow going to change your character.

 

Like the above poster said, release her from the hell you’ve put her in and divorce her. She obviously doesn’t have the strength. (That’s of course why you picked her)

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Amethyst68 Established Member

Amethyst68

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Like other posters I find it hard to believe you are so unaware of your own actions.

 

In what scenario is it acceptable to tell your wife how sexually attractive her sister is?

 

I don't know if there is cultural or religious barrier which is preventing your wife from divorcing but you're right about one thing, she needs to chill out the sake of her health, then put some proper boundaries in place for your relationship.

 

One final question - do you have daughters or young female relations? How would you feel about men acting like this around them?

bmh Established Member

bmh

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I for one hope she never gets over the jealousy and makes you just as miserable as you make her with your actions. This is ridiculous.

Lotsgoingon Established Member

Lotsgoingon

Posted
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She also totally reacts to any restaurant where women dress sexy at, it's ridiculous. Like I took her to Hooters where they have really good wings and my wife totally over reacts. We went there because her sister works as a waitress there. Both her sister and me tell her it's a family restaurant, my wife totally over reacts and calls the waitresses whores and calls them filth for dressing in tight fitting clothes. I just joke around and tell my wife what a really nice pair of breasts her sister has and she has a really nice rear end and that I could see how any man would love to hump her. She goes crazy on me "thats my sister *******". I was a little drunk at the time and my wife forgave me for acting that way cause I was drunk.

 

I mean even when I try tell her a compliment about her sister. That I myself find her hot and she has a nice figure, nice size breasts and a nice behind and I find her sister very sexually attractive ... my wife likes totally overreacts and takes it the wrong way. She even gets mad just because I check out her sister and catches me staring at her rear end sometimes... I mean I tell her not to worry about she is family to me now. I would never mess around with her sister she is way out of my league, she has a boyfriend, and way more attractive than my wife. My wife takes this the wrong way and crys and says "thanks a lot so my sister is pretty and I am ugly! Is that what you saying". I tell her no dating and marriage is like economics, not so attractive people hook up together and very hot attractive people hook up together.

 

Hey, you know your wife has jealousy problems about women who look sexy ... and then you tell her you're sexually attracted to her sister.

 

Your judgment is so skewed and reckless here ... that the fair question to ask is whether you actually get a kick out of torturing your wife.

 

Seriously ... you got two issues:

1. A really jealous wife ... insecure about other women ....

 

2. You have your own lack of judgment ... you liked checking on women and amazingly COMMENTING ON their sexiness in front of your wife.

 

You're no doubt thinking #1 is the problem and #2 is no big deal.

 

Actually your #2 behavior is likely triggering more of her #1 insecurity behavior.

 

Now I'm going to surprise you and express some sympathy ... it's likely also the case that her jealous behavior makes looking at other women extra tantalizing and irresistible to you ...

 

I had an ex who was jealous like this and I finally had to realize I could not comment on other women's looks, period! ...

 

Now there's a deeper level ... you may or may not want to go there ... I don't know how long you've been married ... but ... deeper level stuff could be:

 

You actually indicate through your body language and the way you are with her that you ARE NOT thinking she's so sexy and enough to satisfy you ... So your wife could be reacting not so much out of jealousy ... but really to her own real insecurity ... You'll probably say I'm crazy ... but if you deep down just think you had to marry her ... or that you compromised to marry her, that can come through to your wife and trigger her ...

 

Again don't know how long you've been married ... but ... I hate to tell you this ... but sometimes this problem you both have ... (I'm putting the responsibility on YOU AND HER) ... doesn't just go away easily.

HiCrunchy Established Member

HiCrunchy

Posted
Posted (edited)

If I was as religious as your wife, I would divorce you and pray to God to forgive me cuz living with the stress of having a husband like that is not worth it. Even if that meant I could never remarry, I would rather be alone over being with someone that likes to justify their shady behavior have the constant stress of being with someone that doesn't respect me.

 

She isn't being irrationally crazy, this is your fault and you don't seem to understand that. You have shown her you are a liar which is a huge relationship killer.

 

I don't think its wrong to have exes or past lovers as friends on fb BUT with ur history, she doesn't have a reason to trust you won't cheat on her and later try to justify it.

 

The way I see it you can:

 

1. Delete your "friends" that you have had sexual encounters with, mainly the sex workers.

2. Give her your facebook password.

3. Delete your account completely.

 

It should be easy enough, they are "just fb friends" so getting rid of them permanently should be easy enough. Especially since your highest priority should be your wife's peace of mind if you care about her.

 

And don't make excuses about "not being able to control" checking out women. And keep your damn mouth shut about other women you think are hot, it bothers her be respectful of that and don't make her uncomfortable unnecessarily. Take responsibility for your actions.

 

Ur making her sick! Don't you realize that?

Edited by HiCrunchy
tojaz Established Member

tojaz

Posted
Posted

How long have you been married?

sabaton Established Member

sabaton

Posted
Posted (edited)
My wife gets like insanely jealous of any woman I come even in close proximity to at the local health club we work out at. She will accuse me of having ideas of cheating with any woman I even take a look at over there. They are all really fit and very attractive and dress in very tight fitting clothes that show off their figure and my wife will get incredibly jealous of their looks.<snip>

 

 

 

 

How about just building an in-doors gym and working out without the company of dozens upon dozens, even hundreds of hot, fit, young women around you :lmao:

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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