Jas72 Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 Been dating (long distance 2 hours away) a man for 7 months. It’s been beautiful. So compatible and in love. We are older (50). He is very successful in management. But has been having problems at work where he may lose his job. Lawyers are involved and he is looking for a retirement package if forced to leave. He loves his work and it is a big part of him. He also has a daughter who has a lot of anxieties and some big stuff going on in her life. The last weekend we were together he introduced me to his other daughter. He said I have captured a special place in his heart and we were finally a couple. It seemed real. Nothing besides him being stressed with other stuff indicated we were ending it. If anything we were building and strengthening and talking about the future. There was no doubt we would be together in the years to come. Life partners. Then out of the blue he said he was overwhelmed and needs to be alone for the rest of the month. I’ve obliged. I have tried to make some noninvasive contact but receive nothing but ‘life changes and decisions are too overwhelming, you’ve done nothing wrong, it’s all me and nothing about you and I’m sorry’. Then nothing. To me this feels like more of a breakup. Is this normal? I haven’t sent him anything since I didn’t receive a response two weeks ago. I sent a really positive email today but nothing. I think he is gone for good.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 I think this is a break-up, OP. He is dealing with a lot, to be fair. However, someone who wants to be your partner isn't going to jump ship altogether and leave you hanging. Any chance his other daughter didn't like you for some reason, and put the pressure on Dad to let this go?
d0nnivain Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 The only difference between a break & a break up is the character of the person saying the words. They are the same thing but people who suggest "taking a break" are cowards with poor communications skills who can't tell you hard truths. They want out but are trying to soften the blow & leading you on by giving you false hope. This guy has a lot going on & his life sounds stressful. However in times of trouble most people turn towards those they love for support He turned away from you. Thus he is not invested & wants out. Leave him be. Sorry.
elaine567 Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 I guess the other daughter or maybe both daughters had a "word" with him and he then "decided" to let you go... Of course introducing you further into his life may have just been too much and he decided to bail. He may be ill??? He may have met someone else, or his ex is back in the picture... Who knows? Hard to say why, but I think it is done.
nodramallama Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 Taking a break and breaking up are the same thing. One just sounds better and "gentler" to the one wanting the break, usually done to try and not hurt the other person's feelings. Sadly, it does just the opposite. It leaves the person in limbo with false hope that the break is only temporary. 1
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