dancingintherain12 Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 Assuming you guys have been dating two months, slept together, etc.
basil67 Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 Assuming you guys have been dating two months, slept together, etc. What is the context of his comment? Had you asked him about exclusivity? Or did he just say it out of the blue? And for the record, you do know it's OK to respond to a comment such as this with "could you clarify what that means to you?"
Mrin Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 That's he's not ready to commit or get serious and just likes casually dating you
alphamale Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 That's he's not ready to commit or get serious and just likes casually dating you ^^this, and I would add that he probably wants to see other people 2
carhill Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 Not interested in an exclusive relationship. Sex and dating is fine. 1
Author dancingintherain12 Posted October 19, 2018 Author Posted October 19, 2018 I'm not financially ready or mentally ready for a relationship right now either. Although I would really love to be a part of one right now, I have a lot of things to get together first before I am happy with another guy. But in context he said that he is busy, doesnt mean he doesnt like me, or is interested. He said he wants to take it slow to learn more about me but also that doesn't mean it wont/cant change in the future.
Art_Critic Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 Every time I used that line I was sizing up another girl and making room for her in my dating pool... Not meaning he is doing that, only that is why I was up to when I said it... 1
Lotsgoingon Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 Means he's not ready to seriously date (they don't go from "slow" to "fast") ... and/or that he's not that into you. Might mean also that his life and confidence are messed up right now.
alphamale Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 it could also mean that he's trying to quit heroin for the 4th time and is going into inpatient suboxone treatment for a couple of weeks 2
kendahke Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 (edited) What does a guy mean when he says he wants to take it slow?... Assuming you guys have been dating two months, slept together, etc. It means to not expect devotion out of him because he's either not there or not interested in getting that deep in it. It also means for you to not make this guy the only person you're seeing if he's more into dragging his feet and seeing where things go. That makes as much sense in setting out to go somewhere and not taking/using a map and saying "I just want to see what it's like to get there, I don't need to know where it is..." Edited October 19, 2018 by kendahke 1
BC1980 Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 It's used when a person isn't overly interested in dating you long term but still enjoys the benefits of keeping you around for awhile. It keeps you at arm's length. In this case, the benefit for him is obvious. You're sleeping with him with no expectation of commitment in return.
Hopeful30 Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 It means he doesn't see you as gf material, but wants you to stick around anyway. 1
Dis Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 Saying he wants to take it slow = He wants to casually date you, have sex and do the same with other women Saying he's busy = He's not that interested. Even busy guys have time for the right woman OP, you said you've been dating this guy for 2 months? Is this the guy from your last thread that was blowing you off frequently, or someone else? Either way, you need to up your standards. These guys sound like tools.
Chilli Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 Same thing a girl usually means. Usually he's still unsure about things as yet or feeling half hearted over all already. Why you asking here though, 2mths , you should be talking to him .
smackie9 Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 He's keeping his options open for something better, but you will do for now because you give him sex. 1
dream of me Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 Don't be afraid to bring it up again and ask 'you know, I was wondering what you meant'. It doesn't sound like good news, but you never know. Everyone's different so listen to his story. If he says he's not ready for anything serious, then ask him what does that mean... If you're interested don't be afraid to probe. If he tells excuses say that this answer won't do and insist that he's be honest. Talking about these things will either make it clear you don't want the same things or it will bring you closer.
carhill Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 I'm not financially ready or mentally ready for a relationship right now either. Although I would really love to be a part of one right now, I have a lot of things to get together first before I am happy with another guy. Cool, sounds compatible for now. Date him as you desire and other men as the fancy strikes. No rush, no one is exclusive. To turn the title around, when you've said you want to take things slow with a man, what did you mean by that? Often we perceive the words and actions of others through the lens of our own standards and meanings. How does it go for you? 1
Rotn'roses Posted October 20, 2018 Posted October 20, 2018 It means he is dating more than 1 woman, probably multiple women and wont be able to attend to you often, except on his schedule. I found this one out the hard way. Dont get attached to quickly to this one.
Versacehottie Posted October 21, 2018 Posted October 21, 2018 Cool, sounds compatible for now. Date him as you desire and other men as the fancy strikes. No rush, no one is exclusive. To turn the title around, when you've said you want to take things slow with a man, what did you mean by that? Often we perceive the words and actions of others through the lens of our own standards and meanings. How does it go for you? Great insight! And OP you have gotten a lot of great explanations for all the possible reasons why the guy you're interested in might be saying this to you. Those are most of the common reasons. Another one is work for guys (either not going as well as he hopes/wants to improve or so all-encompassing that he doesn't have time for expectations of a relationship). Needless to say, I wouldn't continue to "invest" or think about a guy like this as part of your future (even week to week) since inherent in that is expectations and hopes that go along with that. Also typically the more you back off, the more you will get his true answer out of him. A lot of guys need space to realize what they want or see that they miss you or will miss an opportunity with you. It's not game-playing when he has said what he said to you--it's living YOUR life. I tend to think that being here asking this question or even that it is on your mind means you care more than you say you do and already have expectations so tread carefully. To answer carhill's question, as a girl, when I have said that i usually have meant one of the following: a) don't want to move too fast physically (either because I like the guy or just because that's what makes sense to me) b) don't want to create unnecessary pressure for either of us, especially a guy, since they tend to assume we want a relationship in general. As soon as something like this is said by me or my friends, the guy, if generally interested, seems to be more into it (probably because without the pressure-real or imagined they can just see you as you are). c) have either already been newly dating or talking to someone else and want to give each a fair chance or don't know enough about either to have a clear favorite or both are really good so far. Don't really want to say all this to either new person so "take it slow" means that basically because you know in time it will sort itself out. So I would assume some guys have some similar reasons--well at least b/c and maybe the rarer guy a. As a generalization, i think guys are more comfortable continuing to see someone that they like but don't really see going anywhere serious for the ego boost or companionship than girls. So I think you have to be really careful of being strung along. That's not a reason on my list but I do think it happens frequently and would give a high probability that could be what's going on with your guy. In your shoes, I would continue to date others, don't make a ton of room for this guy in your life/schedule, i.e. only if it works for you, and back off considerably. If your reasons for not wanting a relationship are to get your life in order, than by all means do that so that when the right guy comes along, you will be ready. Otherwise i think you might be fooling yourself and are bound to be disappointed in the long run.
David33 Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 He means you're somewhere in his priority list, just not #1.
MaleIntuition Posted October 22, 2018 Posted October 22, 2018 Assuming you guys have been dating two months, slept together, etc. It depends on the context. If you want quality advice you have to provide quality information. When you split up the information in bits and pieces it’s quite hard to follow. When people now answer this question they will give you different answers depending on what they think the context is. 1
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