TheBathWater Posted October 18, 2018 Posted October 18, 2018 I met a woman through social dancing recently (e.g. tango). I don't normally date women from the dance community since I frequent there often, but after seeing her and dancing several nights in a couple of weeks, I felt there might be a connection worth following up on. We were flirting a lot, and I was able to get her number after telling her I wanted to learn more about her outside of dance and see if there's a connection. We texted a little to make plans. She suggested we meet before dancing one night, but I'm usually busy before dancing, so I suggested we skip a night of dancing for once so we can meet or just find a different night. She never texted back. I saw her last night at dancing and she was being flirty and teasing me again. She asked why I didn't approach her first. I told her I was waiting to hear back from her and was respecting her space in the meantime. She kept teasing and flirting. I needed a ride home after dance, and she agreed. On the ride home she kept saying "so how are you going to pay me back, huh?" being real flirty, and I would tease and say stuff like "we'll see how good you are" and she'd laugh and hit me on the arm and say "you're kinda a bad boy, huh?". The energy felt great. I tried to kiss her but she actually pulled away and seemed surprised, played dumb and was like "what is this?" I think I just said something like "I think we both feel a connection and I want to see what's there" or whatever. She got quiet and just sorta smiled and stared at me until I got out of the car and walked into my apartment alone. Anyway, I feel like I'm being led on and don't want to dance with this person anymore. I don't like rejection, but I can deal with it when it's honest. I feel like she has been giving me very mixed messages and I don't understand why and feel angry about it to be honest. I feel misled. Am I being led on? Is it okay to feel this way?
Mardelis Posted October 18, 2018 Posted October 18, 2018 She was clearly not expecting you to kiss her. Too much, too soon. Possibly there was some interest on her part but you made the moves on her while she was doing you a favor by bringing you home. It wasn't even from a date! Not only do you not see why you were completely out of line but you take it a step further and make it appear to be her fault in some way. That's rather disturbing.
Kellens Posted October 18, 2018 Posted October 18, 2018 You did nothing wrong OP, she is definitely leading you on. There is nothing "disturbing" about what you did and I don't think you were out of line. I am a woman and I wouldn't invite a man in my car and flirt with him unless I was interested. I would also be mortified at getting that reaction if I tried to kiss someone. Some people are just flirts. I wouldn't dance with her anymore.
Author TheBathWater Posted October 19, 2018 Author Posted October 19, 2018 She was clearly not expecting you to kiss her. Too much, too soon. Possibly there was some interest on her part but you made the moves on her while she was doing you a favor by bringing you home. It wasn't even from a date! Not only do you not see why you were completely out of line but you take it a step further and make it appear to be her fault in some way. That's rather disturbing. So because it wasn't a date, I am "disturbed" and "completely out of line" to make a move on a woman who was flirting with me, touching me, and texting me? That as a very insensitive and aggressive response.
BaileyB Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 If a woman continues to flirt with me after I’ve asked her out and she hasn’t replied to my text... well, I would be done with her. I don’t play those games. And, I’m a woman who loves to flirt.
Gretchen12 Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 She's not necessarily leading you on. It's possible you are just faster than her. A woman normally wouldn't flirt like that with a man who turns her off. That would be crazy. Usually it's with a man that has some potential. But the idea needs to mature in her mind before she's receptive to kissing. There was no date, so it's just a preliminary idea at this point. Don't be upset. False starts happen. Just act normal but dial back. And if she flirts some more, you can ask her whatever happened to getting together (that is if you're still interested).
Lotsgoingon Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 Sounds like this woman really just loves to flirt ... and doesn't seem to want to do anything else ... Let her go ... dance with her if you want ... but something's off about her energy ... she's deliberately messing with you ... she might be someone who just wants the guy to jump through hoops ... but I'd leave her alone.
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