CherryBlossom1980 Posted October 18, 2018 Posted October 18, 2018 Hi everyone, I’ve always stayed away from work relationships for the obvious reasons. But this situation is slightly different in that it’s a guy who I’m working (loosely) with who works for a different company. But we still have to work together hence why I’m being cautious. I’ve met this guy twice in meetings and I quite like him, the second time I met him a few days ago he did a presentation and when I came into the room before he started I definitely got the feeling he was perhaps eyeing me up! But I’m still a bit rubbish at reading signs. So I was just friendly and polite. I sent him a message today just saying thanks for coming to do the prevention and if he got home ok (there was a lot of traffic so he nearly missed his slot). Just polite and friendly really. His response was this: ‘Yes thank you, no problem. Glad it was well relieved and look forward to working with you in the project’ That was it:confused: what the hell am I supposed to do with that?! I’m not sure if he read my message as just being friendly, god knows - any idea? I’m not one for putting myself out there really, but then I don’t want to miss a potential opportunity. I just guess I expected a way for me to continue the conversation and there isn’t one.
Author CherryBlossom1980 Posted October 18, 2018 Author Posted October 18, 2018 Sorry I meant received, not relieved
d0nnivain Posted October 18, 2018 Posted October 18, 2018 It's a polite professional message. You appreciate it for what it is, understanding it's not an invitation to take this to a social place . . . yet. Keep interacting with him on the project, flirt a little, give it time & see if anything develops. Because of the work angle he may be equally cautious & afraid of #MeToo / offending you. He may also have an SO. You just don't know. It will take more time. 1
Author CherryBlossom1980 Posted October 18, 2018 Author Posted October 18, 2018 Thanks that’s the thing, neither of us really know what each other is thinking - are we just being polite/professional. Do either of us have a partner. Caution due to working together. Lots of hurdles. But I’m a firm believer, if it’s meant to be it’ll happen. And hopefully there will be more interaction, though I’m not sure how long I’ll be in that job as I’m not happy there. So it’ll go nowhere anyway. I guess I’m just a bit disappointed he didn’t try and continue to conversation...
d0nnivain Posted October 18, 2018 Posted October 18, 2018 I met my husband at a work thing. It was a business card exchange. I sent him a polite note. He replied. Then he offered to come to my office on a Monday & possible have dinner after. I thought he was trying to sell me something & I was crushed. I tell you that to give you hope & because I do think you are both trying to figure this out without making work awkward & that is the best way to proceed. Hang in there.
Author CherryBlossom1980 Posted October 18, 2018 Author Posted October 18, 2018 Thanks you but at least your husband took the initiative after you contacted him to come to your office. Where as the guy I like I feel has closed down the conversation. Game over!
d0nnivain Posted October 18, 2018 Posted October 18, 2018 Game over! I think it's more like the end of the 1st quarter or inning (depending on your sport / game). Let's see what happens the next time you see each other. I suspect patience may pay off. Given the circumstances, it can't be instant like if you only met socially.
Author CherryBlossom1980 Posted October 18, 2018 Author Posted October 18, 2018 So you don’t get the impression that he was just being polite and just trying to end the conversation with a nice thanks but no thanks? I’m terrible with misreading messages.
d0nnivain Posted October 18, 2018 Posted October 18, 2018 That is a possibility. #metoo makes good guys skittish. I'm willing to entertain the idea that in person you two can assess whether there is mutual interest. Seriously just tread lightly for now.
Author CherryBlossom1980 Posted October 18, 2018 Author Posted October 18, 2018 Ok thank you. One last thing...#me too?! What do you mean? Please explain. Do you mean if I put myself forward then it puts him off? I don’t feel I’ve given that impression, I myself have been just polite and professional I thought.
Author CherryBlossom1980 Posted October 18, 2018 Author Posted October 18, 2018 Ohhhh sexual harassment. Yes I get it. I don’t believe that would be a problem as we don’t work in the same office. This really will be mostly done via email and the very occasional meeting.
Malin889 Posted October 18, 2018 Posted October 18, 2018 Go for it! It’s the perfect way to meet someone. You work together but you don’t work together.
Author CherryBlossom1980 Posted October 19, 2018 Author Posted October 19, 2018 Thank you. I don’t think I’m going to act on anything. After speaking to a few friends they see it as a gentle brush off. Polite, professional thanks but no thanks! It’s funny how we all interpret things differently! So I’ll leave it there, plenty more fish as they say
Eternal Sunshine Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 I would interpret it as a polite rejection and wouldn’t try anymore. He already sensed your interest (nobody really bothers with these messages unless there is some kind of spark). There were many ways he could have responded leaving things open...
Author CherryBlossom1980 Posted October 19, 2018 Author Posted October 19, 2018 My manager actually sent him a thank you message for coming to present because it was out of normal office hours, as I work alongside her I did the same out of politeness too but also to see if there was any interest. Clearly that’s isn’t so yes I’ll leave it there thanks everyone x
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