ConfusedHippo Posted October 17, 2018 Posted October 17, 2018 Long story short, my boyfriend broke up with me, then came back to me and started treating me like we were still dating. However he would constantly joked that we were just friends and he had told his friends that I was the one to break up with him. When I asked him if we were dating or not, he could not give me an answer, so I stopped all contact for just over a month now. My family has been tremendously generous to him over our 4 year relationship. - We would always invite him out for dinner, or buy him (and his mom) food - My uncle started mentoring him in the real estate business, where my ex made quite a bit of money through that - We would pay for him when we invited him on vacations - My family went over and beyond in helping my ex renovate his house (and we gave them a lot of free appliances, etc) - My mother has taken care of his dog on many occasions When my ex broke up with me, my mother told my uncle and my uncle stopped contacting my ex. My ex seemed very angry and told me "your mom is not a nice person and has a big mouth". He later mentioned he sometimes feels like he wants nothing to do with my family. I was furious after hearing this. I have to see him a couple more times in November and once a week in the new year as we are in the same class. Its a small class of 12 people. How should I act? I am still very angry and feel completely disrespected because of his comments towards my family and the fact that he did not break up with me in a respectful manner. I am trying to put this behind me and accept the apology I will never get, but my blood literally boils when I think about how he handled this breakup. (Note: he does not think he did anything wrong, he literally said "have I ever done anything wrong?" right before no contact). I was thinking of acting happy, polite, and like I don't give a damn anymore when I see him. I want to be the bigger person. I bought a whole bunch of new clothes, dyed my hair, started working everyday before my night classes, started volunteering at a soup kitchen, started investing a lot of time in learning violin, and am very actively looking for a job placement after I graduate. I do want him to see all that I have going on right now. I have no interest in getting back together with him, although it still hurts like hell. I have yet to decide if I want to be friends with him. Besides when I see him in class, should I still continue to ignore him if and when he texts me? Or should I give short and disinterested replies? Thanks for reading and your thoughts!
alphamale Posted October 17, 2018 Posted October 17, 2018 under no circumstances should you remain friends with this man. when you see him just acknowledge his presence by a fake smile or a wave of the hand but do not talk with him.
Zahara Posted October 17, 2018 Posted October 17, 2018 Make friends with people that don’t disrespect you. There’s no need for you to try and appease his feelings. You need to have boundaries. The next time you see him, just be civil. If you make eye contact, nod and smile then move on. There’s no reason why you need to communicate. Not sure why he would be texting you or why you’ve allowed him that access. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 17, 2018 Posted October 17, 2018 You can't be "friends" with him. You will never talk on the phone, confide in each other or spend time together the same way again ever. That doesn't mean you have to be enemies. You can smile & say hello when you bump into each other. If some tragedy happens you can offer condolences. You can offer words of praise if something good happens. But you need to keep some distance because he's not good for you.
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