Sky222 Posted October 16, 2018 Posted October 16, 2018 Why do men judge women if they agree to go home after a good first date? Did not have sex. Hooked up in other ways. We hit it off, attracted to each other, lots in common, both grown adults. Not something I typically do, especially coming out of a LTR. Said to hell with it, went home with him and have gone out 8 times in a month. Contact everyday. All of a sudden he’s being weird and questioning why I went home with him on first night since it’s not my usually dating style. Honestly, made me feel as though he was being judgy and doubting me.
basil67 Posted October 16, 2018 Posted October 16, 2018 Not all men do judge women for this. Only the man who are hypocritical do it. Anyway, yes he is being judgy and doubting you. Question is: do you want to continue with a man who's shown himself to be a hypocrite? 1
d0nnivain Posted October 16, 2018 Posted October 16, 2018 Some men do judge others do not. If you find a judgy one, realize he's a hypocrite because he has sex too & get rid of him 2
Grey40 Posted October 16, 2018 Posted October 16, 2018 Yeah there’s nothing with it and guys really don’t care about that as much as women think they do. (Unless they’re religious). Sounds to me like he’s coming up with an excuse to try and end things and he’s resorting to that. 2
stillafool Posted October 16, 2018 Posted October 16, 2018 Why do you care what he thinks? You did what you wanted to do. 1
SevenCity Posted October 16, 2018 Posted October 16, 2018 Because men realize we are not special. They start thinking to themselves how you're a pretty girl, and you likely go on lots of dates. How many of those dudes did you go home with right away? That's why he didn't say anything right away, it likely started eating away at him. Yep. It’s not so much you did it quickly, it’s the fact that he likely figures you do that with everyone. 1
preraph Posted October 16, 2018 Posted October 16, 2018 Yeah, but HE likely does it with everyone, so he's still a hypocrite. 2
elaine567 Posted October 16, 2018 Posted October 16, 2018 Tell him you have had a think about it and you are really not comfortable dating a guy who sleeps with women on the first date, so Good Bye. 2
SevenCity Posted October 16, 2018 Posted October 16, 2018 Yeah, but HE likely does it with everyone, so he's still a hypocrite. When women start approaching men, asking them on dates, paying, asking men to marry, and spending several month’s salary on a ring, I will feel guilty for this double standard. Until then.... It actually goes deeper than that. Most men are motivated by sex We will have sex as our options allow. Typically, women are not motivated by sex in the same way men are. If they were, society could not function as everyone would be having sex with everyone all the time. If she is, you begin to wonder about her. The other side is why didn’t any guy want to keep her around? Additionally, women will often lose interest in you if you don’t take her up on her offer for sex. It’s not easy being a man nowadays. This is one area where we get a pass:D 2
OnlyHonesty Posted October 17, 2018 Posted October 17, 2018 You'd feel the same way if he proclaimed undying love after 1 date and made you his official gf...
Highndry Posted October 17, 2018 Posted October 17, 2018 (edited) Because men figure women who are "easy" do it with all sorts of guys, and therefore are not good relationship material. It's the painful truth. And yeah, we're hypocrites when it comes to that. Edited October 17, 2018 by Highndry
Andy_K Posted October 17, 2018 Posted October 17, 2018 Insecurity. Guy in question doesn't think he's special enough to warrant special treatment, therefore you must be a slutty type who's done the same thing with dozens of guys before. All of a sudden he’s being weird and questioning why I went home with him on first night Pander to his ego... tell him why he made so much better a first impression on you then other first dates. Or just tell him he was lucky enough to be at the right place at the right time. He wants a plausible reason to believe you when you day you don't usually do it. 2
Saracena Posted October 17, 2018 Posted October 17, 2018 Insecurity. Guy in question doesn't think he's special enough to warrant special treatment, therefore you must be a slutty type who's done the same thing with dozens of guys before. Pander to his ego... tell him why he made so much better a first impression on you then other first dates. Or just tell him he was lucky enough to be at the right place at the right time. He wants a plausible reason to believe you when you day you don't usually do it. Actually, this is what I was thinking as well. I'd also like to know his response if you asked him what brought this on all of a sudden...…..
Author Sky222 Posted October 17, 2018 Author Posted October 17, 2018 (edited) Insecurity. Guy in question doesn't think he's special enough to warrant special treatment, therefore you must be a slutty type who's done the same thing with dozens of guys before. Pander to his ego... tell him why he made so much better a first impression on you then other first dates. Or just tell him he was lucky enough to be at the right place at the right time. He wants a plausible reason to believe you when you day you don't usually do it. It has more to do with me and my needs more so than him being special. But I’ll feed his ego I suppose. It’s so funny how there is a double standard. Maybe I don’t feel as though he is good boyfriend material because he was trying to get in my pants starting 2hrs after meeting me. However, I’d like to think I’m just that hot and sexy that it’s just me and not something he try’s on every woman the first time he takes out her out on a fancy date. Edited October 17, 2018 by Sky222
Simple Logic Posted October 18, 2018 Posted October 18, 2018 Could be he just trying to figure out if he was a 1 night stand.
Dis Posted October 18, 2018 Posted October 18, 2018 However, I’d like to think I’m just that hot and sexy that it’s just me and not something he try’s on every woman the first time he takes out her out on a fancy date. He's probably wondering the same about you
mortensorchid Posted October 18, 2018 Posted October 18, 2018 We've all made this mistake at least once in our lives. Sometimes even more depending on our circumstances or motivation. Whatever the case may be, you can chock this up to ships that passed in the night and that's all it was. Move on from this guy, learn your lesson, and that's that. Sad but true.
losangelena Posted October 18, 2018 Posted October 18, 2018 All of a sudden he’s being weird and questioning why I went home with him on first night since it’s not my usually dating style. Honestly, made me feel as though he was being judgy and doubting me. He sounds incredibly insecure. "I dOn't FeEl sPeciAL," yeah well 'cause he's not. Remind him there are a bunch of other d*cks you could be riding on, and to stop holding you to some sort of dumb double standard. 1
snowcones Posted October 18, 2018 Posted October 18, 2018 He's probably the same guy that would be outraged if you said you didn't have sex until after 3 months of dating.
some_username1 Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 (edited) Apologies to the women in this thread because I'm about to say what you don't want to hear: I'm very confident that the vast majority of men when picturing the girl of their dreams do not picture a girl who has sex on the first date. It suggests poor impulse control and a woman with poor impulse control can have had no end of partners as well as be prone to indulging in other risky activities that put their health and personal safety at risk. If you do the maths and think that you will have effectively slept with all the people she may have it gets a bit icky to think about. For the record I at least am not a hypcrite about this- for a guy I am very selective about who I sleep with, I actually do prefer a connection and I expect the women I date to be the same. I have had women literally insist on coming back to my place at the end of a first date and it is maddening because they were great dating material up to that point. So yeah, I am not surprised this guy is going to ask questions of OP if he seriously wants to pursue a relationship with her. OP has every right to tell him to jog on though, of course. Edited October 19, 2018 by some_username1 2
Saracena Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 I'm very confident that the vast majority of men when picturing the girl of their dreams do not picture a girl who has sex on the first date. But OP didn't actually have sex on their first date.
Author Sky222 Posted October 19, 2018 Author Posted October 19, 2018 Apologies to the women in this thread because I'm about to say what you don't want to hear: I'm very confident that the vast majority of men when picturing the girl of their dreams do not picture a girl who has sex on the first date. It suggests poor impulse control and a woman with poor impulse control can have had no end of partners as well as be prone to indulging in other risky activities that put their health and personal safety at risk. If you do the maths and think that you will have effectively slept with all the people she may have it gets a bit icky to think about. For the record I at least am not a hypcrite about this- for a guy I am very selective about who I sleep with, I actually do prefer a connection and I expect the women I date to be the same. I have had women literally insist on coming back to my place at the end of a first date and it is maddening because they were great dating material up to that point. So yeah, I am not surprised this guy is going to ask questions of OP if he seriously wants to pursue a relationship with her. OP has every right to tell him to jog on though, of course. I didn’t sleep with him after our first Datw. I spent the night with Him but. I sex was had.
MaleIntuition Posted October 19, 2018 Posted October 19, 2018 Maybe it has nothing to do with spending the night. Perhaps he simply didn’t like you that much..? It was the first date wasn’t it?
Author Sky222 Posted October 20, 2018 Author Posted October 20, 2018 Maybe it has nothing to do with spending the night. Perhaps he simply didn’t like you that much..? It was the first date wasn’t it? Perhaps. But, why would a man take you out 10 times if he didn’t like you?
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