Harry03 Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 Basically, about 3 months ago I asked out my crush. Though she initially agreed on a date, she eventually decided against the idea, claiming she wasn’t ready. After getting this response, I thought she’s just trying to let me down gently and was not interested. So, I moved on thinking I won’t be hearing from her again. However, a few weeks ago she followed me on IG and shortly after initiated a conversation. Initially we chatted about each other’s IG posts, but after a while she started flirting. Then after about a week of flirting I was confident she was interested in me and thought I should ask her out again. So, last week I asked her out for a coffee, thinking I would get a quick positive reply. But this did not happen, she didn’t actually respond at all. A week went by, so yesterday I sent her a final message. I tried to make the situation light and friendly, but also say it’s ok if she was not interested but to let me know. Again she didn’t respond to this and a few hours later she unfollowed me. So, realising that’s probably the end with her, I decided to unfollow her, which resulted in her blocking me. Now, I’m so confused about the whole situation. Why would she initiate a conversation with me and be really flirty to only go quiet when I ask her out. Regarding her blocking me, I don’t really care that much, but I just find it baffling considering the interest she was showing. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 She sent you a certain set of signals to which you responded. She then got all pi$$y & blocked you. It's her poor communications skills that caused this not you. Let her be. She's a bad prospect anyway. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 I'm curious about why she wasn't ready for a date the first time you asked her out. Had she recently come out of a relationship? It appears that she got in touch to get some attention, but that's about it. It's unfortunate and not fair to you. It's better that she's out of your hair so she can't play games again. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 Let go and move on ... If people want to go out on a date with us, they will go out of their way--make it totally obvious, make themselves totally available--to go out on a date with us. Mixed signals are "no" signals--signals to stop pursuing the other person. Here's what's confusing ... yes, there is sometimes evidence the other person is interested ... but you want to judge the responses as a whole. In this case, this person disappeared, didn't respond, contacted you out of the blue ... then when you asked them out, went silent again. Overall, that's a no. Tip: don't worry about WHY people are inconsistent. Just notice THAT they are inconsistent and let them go. Analogy: think of an employer. The employer hires someone who shows up for a few days and then misses. Or the employee shows up and does the work well for a few days and then is terrible on other days. The employer doesn't ask "why". The employer simply concludes this person is not reliable. I need to let them go and hire someone who is reliable. Link to post Share on other sites
Marc878 Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 Well you know she's not relationship material. No harm done. Just don't linger Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 Basically, about 3 months ago I asked out my crush. Though she initially agreed on a date, she eventually decided against the idea, claiming she wasn’t ready. After getting this response, I thought she’s just trying to let me down gently and was not interested. So, I moved on thinking I won’t be hearing from her again. However, a few weeks ago she followed me on IG and shortly after initiated a conversation. Initially we chatted about each other’s IG posts, but after a while she started flirting. Then after about a week of flirting I was confident she was interested in me and thought I should ask her out again. So, last week I asked her out for a coffee, thinking I would get a quick positive reply. But this did not happen, she didn’t actually respond at all. A week went by, so yesterday I sent her a final message. I tried to make the situation light and friendly, but also say it’s ok if she was not interested but to let me know. Again she didn’t respond to this and a few hours later she unfollowed me. So, realising that’s probably the end with her, I decided to unfollow her, which resulted in her blocking me. Now, I’m so confused about the whole situation. Why would she initiate a conversation with me and be really flirty to only go quiet when I ask her out. Regarding her blocking me, I don’t really care that much, but I just find it baffling considering the interest she was showing. She just sounds like someone who is not actually dating. How old is she? Maybe she's not allowed to date or already has a boyfriend so she just sits and flirts with guys online to kill time and gratify herself that she's pretty. It's always possible she's looking for $$ to date and is a prostitute. It's also possible it's a catfish, like some dude using someone else's photos and getting his rocks off or a 55 year old women. It's on Instagram, so I assume that means you're seeing lots of photos of her, but isn't it still possible to fake that? Anyway, why try to make sense of it? She blocked you and it is over. If she unblocks you, it should still be over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Harry03 Posted October 14, 2018 Author Share Posted October 14, 2018 The reason she didn't want to date initially was because she wasn't quite over a break up that happened a couple of months prior. The thing is I know it does look like she was attention seeking, but as I've known her for quite a while, she's honestly not that sort of person, which is why I'm so confused. Usually she is very honest and will be polite about things like this. So, her ignoring and blocking me has came at a massive surprise, especially as I didn't do anything wrong. Link to post Share on other sites
Gretchen12 Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 She was feeling lonely and sad from the break up that's why she contacted you to sooth herself and use you to distract herself from thinking about her ex. Probably blocked you because she's back with the ex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Harry03 Posted October 14, 2018 Author Share Posted October 14, 2018 Maybe you're right, but her blocking me because she has got back with her ex is unlikely. As I do know her ex, he is happily in another relationship with another girl, and the sort of person she usually is I don't think she would ruin that. She probably just found someone she's more interested in. But I'm just surprised she just completely ignored me, which is against her usual character. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted October 14, 2018 Share Posted October 14, 2018 The reason she didn't want to date initially was because she wasn't quite over a break up that happened a couple of months prior. The thing is I know it does look like she was attention seeking, but as I've known her for quite a while, she's honestly not that sort of person, which is why I'm so confused. Usually she is very honest and will be polite about things like this. So, her ignoring and blocking me has came at a massive surprise, especially as I didn't do anything wrong. Perhaps she is dating someone else or got back together with her ex, and doesn't want them to know she's been flirting with you. You've known her quite a while, but you're surprised she's done something seemingly out of character by blocking you. Therefore, it should come as no surprise either that she might have been looking for a little attention from you too. Evidently, you don't know her as well as you thought. Link to post Share on other sites
CollinW Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 She just wanted attention and you were more forward than she was expecting. Count your blessings, better to be at this point than being stung along and used emotionally. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 Why would she initiate a conversation with me and be really flirty to only go quiet when I ask her out. Because she really wasn't serious about going out with you. She was probably there to get attention from men with no intention on going out with anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
Williamjacob Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 Basically, about 3 months ago I asked out my crush. Though she initially agreed on a date, she eventually decided against the idea, claiming she wasn’t ready. After getting this response, I thought she’s just trying to let me down gently and was not interested. So, I moved on thinking I won’t be hearing from her again. However, a few weeks ago she followed me on IG and shortly after initiated a conversation. Initially we chatted about each other’s IG posts, but after a while she started flirting. Then after about a week of flirting I was confident she was interested in me and thought I should ask her out again. So, last week I asked her out for a coffee, thinking I would get a quick positive reply. But this did not happen, she didn’t actually respond at all. A week went by, so yesterday I sent her a final message. I tried to make the situation light and friendly, but also say it’s ok if she was not interested but to let me know. Again she didn’t respond to this and a few hours later she unfollowed me. So, realising that’s probably the end with her, I decided to unfollow her, which resulted in her blocking me. Now, I’m so confused about the whole situation. Why would she initiate a conversation with me and be really flirty to only go quiet when I ask her out. Regarding her blocking me, I don’t really care that much, but I just find it baffling considering the interest she was showing. She was toying with you from the beginning. Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 Listen Harry you can do better she's not the type to date. Best you found on now then sooner. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted October 15, 2018 Share Posted October 15, 2018 I think she probably wasn't that interested, as she recently had a break up, She initially said yes as she felt a bit obligated or she didn't want to disappoint you, thought better of it so said, "No". Then still a bit lonely, she hits you up again, but despite the flirting she now has you firmly in the friend zone. You get revved up again and ask her out. She goes "Ugh! what is it with men? I already said no, can't he take the hint and just be friends... Unfollow, BLOCK. Link to post Share on other sites
Purrrfect Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 How old are you? Does anyone over 17 use the term “ crush”? You both sound immature and not ready to date. Link to post Share on other sites
Zippy2000 Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 Harry, girls do like attention and throughout my life whenever Ive given a girl a ton of attention but later faded when they weren't interested. The would have a habit or reappearing back again to get attention. When I gave any more interest again they would fade or ghost. I think some people just like attention. The want to be affirmed or validated. Its very rare any of these girls I got together with in the end. What I do now is I try to get the girls out instead of messaging. I ve found out girls who were interested would make and keep dates. the ones who didn't want to come out were timewasters. Don't read into this too much. It could be in her point in her life she had no one to talk to so decided to speak to you as you were available. next time talk to them for a day or two but make a point of going out in real life than just messaging. Link to post Share on other sites
sabaton Posted October 16, 2018 Share Posted October 16, 2018 Basically, about 3 months ago I asked out my crush. Though she initially agreed on a date, she eventually decided against the idea, claiming she wasn’t ready. After getting this response, I thought she’s just trying to let me down gently and was not interested. So, I moved on thinking I won’t be hearing from her again. However, a few weeks ago she followed me on IG and shortly after initiated a conversation. Initially we chatted about each other’s IG posts, but after a while she started flirting. Then after about a week of flirting I was confident she was interested in me and thought I should ask her out again. So, last week I asked her out for a coffee, thinking I would get a quick positive reply. But this did not happen, she didn’t actually respond at all. A week went by, so yesterday I sent her a final message. I tried to make the situation light and friendly, but also say it’s ok if she was not interested but to let me know. Again she didn’t respond to this and a few hours later she unfollowed me. So, realising that’s probably the end with her, I decided to unfollow her, which resulted in her blocking me. Now, I’m so confused about the whole situation. Why would she initiate a conversation with me and be really flirty to only go quiet when I ask her out. Regarding her blocking me, I don’t really care that much, but I just find it baffling considering the interest she was showing. Some people just want attention and will flirt with people they aren't attacted to. Link to post Share on other sites
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