HURTANDCONFUSED81 Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 I was wondering...generally speaking; do men typically give their first loves a second chance? If he broke up with her and sayign he didnt love her..that they werent compatible? Does this change as you use NC Against him? I dont think he really meant those things...I did some wrong things but I also did some good. what do u guys think
Art_Critic Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 Generally speaking it depends on why it ended and how it was left, But I think that when it is over it is over.. I have alway's given 2 nd chances to my past loves if it was in the cards but only if it ended the right way
Merin Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 I think it's best when someone says they don't love you to believe them....
kscholze Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 but what if they say they do still love you? I would NC until you here from him. got to give it a few chances, but let him decide
Merin Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 but what if they say they do still love you? I would NC until you here from him. got to give it a few chances, but let him decide The OP stated that he said he did NOT love her. and HE isn't the person who should be making decisions for what is best for HER.
Author HURTANDCONFUSED81 Posted September 9, 2005 Author Posted September 9, 2005 Yea..Im holding what he last said to me until the day he proves it otherwise or tells me otherwise. Im not going to go and believe he didnt mean it ...cuz if that isnt true at the end Ill just go back to square one. Itll be 2 weeks exactly tomorrow..and Im doing very well with NC ! Im proud because usually Im the one who calls and tries to fix things..but none of that. After being with someone for that long..(2.5 years) you dont just say you thought u loved me but realized u didnt. Thats messed up.
Merin Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 Yea..Im holding what he last said to me until the day he proves it otherwise or tells me otherwise. Im not going to go and believe he didnt mean it ...cuz if that isnt true at the end Ill just go back to square one. Itll be 2 weeks exactly tomorrow..and Im doing very well with NC ! Im proud because usually Im the one who calls and tries to fix things..but none of that. After being with someone for that long..(2.5 years) you dont just say you thought u loved me but realized u didnt. Thats messed up. Yes it is messed up. Hang in there and good for you in not accepting anything less than someone who does love you and mean it.
lifeispeachy Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 My ex did exactly the same to me. Saying he loves me one minute and then saying he doesnt any feelings for me. And saying we were incompatible. And I did what most often ppl do. Beg and pleaded for him to love me until it came to a point where I just couldnt take it anymore. And it was a 5 yrs relationship. So 3 mths ago, he said he doenst have any feelings for me anymore, I finally said OK. He was surprised bcos I didnt beg him this time. And he went off. I havent made an effort to call him at all. He is always the one calling me and asking how I am. Basically, you cant force a person to love you. Once a person chooses to believe that him and you are incompatible or that he doesnt love you, you cant change what he believes. My friend gave me book on breakups. Interesting enough, when he says he loves you one minute and then he says he doesnt the next usually "means "I think I'm no good and you are an idiot for loving me. How can I love an idiot?" When a person is suffering from low self-esteem, as much as they need someone to love them, to make them feel worthy and lovable, they sometimes subconsciously look down their nose at anybody that would love them. They lose respect for the person who shows an interests in them." I dont know how true is that until I evaluate the person he was. And it was somewhat true. Maybe he suffers from low self-esteem. Most of all, you dont deserve him. You deserve better. So let him go. Leave him with his own screwed up world.
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