New to casual dating - is he interested?

[zoe82]

Helloooo

 

I'm totally new to this casual dating thing in the usa. I'm a german girl and our dating is totally different. We dont really date like this. If we meet someone we like, we go on some activities together or dinner dates and if it works- fine. If not we move on. We don't date multiple people. That explained, i like to excuse my imperfect engl. Im doing my best, tho.

 

So i met this guy 4 weeks ago online. He's from the states- i live in Germany. Due to his job situation, it was obvious from the beginning of our virtual flirt, that he would be in Germany 4 weeks later. So we decide to plan a date and since then we texted or called us on a daily basis. We both counted down the days until we would finally meet in real life. We both were so excited!!

 

In those 4 weeks virtual contact, there hasn't been a day without him so far. And then we finally met in person and had a lovely evening together. We went for dinner, talked ongoing like we knew each other since long times. He made some very nice compliments about some little details on me and he was very thoughtful. He also said he like very much what he sees and what he hears.

 

While dinner he already asked me, if it would be possible to travel in nearby countries to meet up and if so, what would be the most uncomplicated destinations (due to his job he's a lot in my neck of the woods). I thought this was very nice of him and a way of showing me interest in continuing dating me.

 

After dinner we had a walk through my hometown and sat down beside a river. It was a romantic situation and the was like:" I gotta kiss you now..." and kissed me.

 

From this point on we couldn't stop kissing and smiling the rest of the evening. We strolled back to his hotel and he was grabbing and holding my hand until we ended up in his hotel room and made a bit out. But we didn't have sex. He said:"I wasn't expecting anything. It would have been totally fine, just the two of us for dinner...So now we have something to look forward for the next time..."

 

At the end of this evening he called me a cab home, kissed me good bye, said we will do this again soon and said i should text him, when i got home safe. And i did so.

 

Next early morning he was on his way back to the states and texted me from his flight, as always. Since then we still had contact every day, but only 1-2 times a day. He still text me every day but not as much as before.

 

So my question is now: Is he still interested?? Its been 4 days now since our date and he hasn't asked me out for the next date. I mean, i know its much more difficult for us, because our dating situation depends on where and when he needs to travel to. But he knows his plan one month ahead, so i guess he should already know when he will be in my corner, right?

 

I read a lot of articles and forums to understand the american way of dating, but i need your valued advice:

 

Is his interest in me slipping, because he dont text as much as before? Sometimes he takes like 12 hrs to reply (which happened also sometimes before our date, to be fair). Im just confused. And yes, i really like him! And i don't date casually. I concentrate on him and want to give him a fair shot to see where this is going.

 

I want to add, that im not desperate. I really want to understand your dating culture. Thats why im asking.

 

Thanks,

Zoe

[zoe82]

He is not the "usual" dating guy given he travels a lot. Regarding taking 12 hours to reply, some men (well, most of us do) like to take our time before replying a message even if we know you've sent us one. If we reply inmediatly, it'll may become like a chat and that doesn't last for long. If he keeps on texting you on his own, it means he is interested. What I try to say is that if he tries to start a conversation with you instead of just replying your messages then it means he is interested. However, take into account that if you didn't agree with him to be exclusive, he may be dating other women in the States.

 

Yes, i'm aware of that he could possibly date multiple ppl. Although he told me from the beginning, he's not casual dating any more like in his twenties. But...to be honest...talk is cheap, cuz he's still on this dating app

 

I just gave him a text that i just thought of him and asked about his day and he replied within 15 min and asked me questions back about me. So i think thats ok, right?

 

Since the date, it has been him who started the convos. Before it was balanced out and this is what i prefer. No games at all. I mean, i'm a grown woman and know what i want and am not afraid to show it I just dont want to take the lead for the next date to ask for.

 

So you think, everything is ok till now?

[zoe82]

Oh, and i forgot to tell some very important things:

 

1. i met him on a dating site, where i located myself in his area. The reason why is simple: i will move to the states next year and he knows this. I was on this dating site to make some contacts/friends in advance. So he knows i will be available some day on his continent. Currently he’s trying to convince me about his state, though. :-)

2. he made a little film for me to show me his place. There was no female vibe in. Not even in the bathroom and he showed me even inside the bathroom cabinet. Nada. So i know. Also he’s working really crazy schedule which makes it hard for him to get a relationship going.

 

But anyway… maybe he just wants an easy hookup for travels. Anything is possible. How will i know?

 

Don’t get me wrong: im a happy single and therefore not easy to drag into a relationship, unless its really the best person for me. I just really start to like him.