am i been paranoid

[guest]

i have been currently dating this girl for about 5 weeks now officially boyfriend and girlfriend, we see each other 3-4 times a weeks and when we see each other we have such a good time we are perfect together, im 21 gym instructor reasonable looking and she is 18 and attractive. we both go to the same college but do different courses, i have no reason to think this, but im constantly fearful she will dump me, i think this is due to the fact ive been treated badly in the past and relatively inexperienced with relationships.

 

an example of my paranoia is if i text "she is prob busy at work or something" but sometimes takes ages to reply back i get paranoid that ive done something wrong. i get so worried. i am worried that if i show her that im so insecure she will leave me. i dont think she is the type tho, very innocent and not the type to cheat or treat people badly.

 

 

 

how do i deal with my issues

 

thanks

[BonneChatte]

It's not easy, but you cannot let your past relationships influence how you handle this one. You should talk to her and tell her that you really don't want to get hurt because you've been hurt in the past and ask her to always be honest about her feelings with you. Then let it go...if you keep harping on it or calling every 5 minutes until she picks up the phone, she WILL dump you...and not because she doesn't like you, but because everyone needs a little space. Give yourself some credit...focus on all the great things you bring to the relationship. And give her more credit too; she's with you now because she wants to be.

[Steve S.]

It's not easy, but you cannot let your past relationships influence how you handle this one. You should talk to her and tell her that you really don't want to get hurt because you've been hurt in the past and ask her to always be honest about her feelings with you. Then let it go...if you keep harping on it or calling every 5 minutes until she picks up the phone, she WILL dump you...and not because she doesn't like you, but because everyone needs a little space. Give yourself some credit...focus on all the great things you bring to the relationship. And give her more credit too; she's with you now because she wants to be.

 

I think that's great advice. I can identify with the original poster. Even though is isn't always easy, you just have to remember that every person is different and every experience will be different with them. Past experiences do not set precedents in relationships.