Stopme Posted October 13, 2018 Posted October 13, 2018 Hi, I bumped into a guy I used to work with many years ago. We went for a drink one night to chat about 'old times'. I always quite liked this guy and we got on well. We had a chat, had some fun and kissed goodnight. To be honest, I'm not that attracted to him and I didn't really like the way he kissed. On the other hand, he is not unattractive and we have a lot in common and we are good friends. He wants to catch up again. I'm wondering if I should considering I don't particularly fancy him at this point. I've been separated for over two years but the pain of that is making me very wary. I'm also in my 50s and so is he.
lurker74 Posted October 13, 2018 Posted October 13, 2018 There are two schools of thought on this. The first one says that it is easy to become more attracted to a person as you get to know them and grow closer to them. So someone you find not particularly attractive today could be the hottest piece of meat in your life in a little while if there becomes an emotional connection that jump-starts the physical connection. The second school says that if you aren't attracted to him at the outset, anything that comes after that is likely to be manufactured. Most people, women in particular, will indicate that they knew in the first 30 seconds of meeting somebody if they were inherently attracted to him, or her. I don't know that either school is fully accurate so what I suggest is that you cut the baby in half. Go out with him again if it sounds like fun but take things very slowly and don't advance it to the point where you become overly physical prior to the natural escalation of physicality. And that means you should accept that possibly he will never become physical if that real, base attraction doesn't manifest. 2
RedHead5 Posted October 13, 2018 Posted October 13, 2018 If you have a mental connection, give him another shot. You said he is attractive physically so there's that. Maybe he was just nervous. See if something develops but don't force it. What do you have to lose? 1
Guildford Posted October 13, 2018 Posted October 13, 2018 Stopme - You are in your 50s and you are separated for two years. What have you got to lose? Go for it. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted October 13, 2018 Posted October 13, 2018 Venus (ruling love & relationships) is retrograde till November 15. It's a hallmark of Venus retrograde that former lovers and relationships reappear. It's happening for me as well. One cute little example is this: I parted ways with this amazing guy a while back because he's simply too young for me. A couple days ago I saw he viewed my LinkedIn profile and I was absolutely tickled. I'm not going to contact him, no future, but it brought back a flood of awesome memories and feelings. He's so dreamy!! Go with your intuition. It never lies.
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