somuchmusic Posted October 13, 2018 Posted October 13, 2018 So the other day I had a discussion with a friend. She's been kind of MiA from my life for a while, it's super annoying but I got over it since well... if she doesn't care, why should I? So at one point during the discussion she wrote: I hope you understand. I hope you understand..... I know it may seem nice but to me this is such an emotional blackmail sentence. And this is not the first time. When another friend and I were having a discussion about something (a while ago), at one point she wrote: I hope you understand. As in, I just did something which is quite poopy and not very nice, but I did it and I hope you understand (clearly not a direct quote). I feel I am not explaining this very well, but if you know what I'm talking about, please let me know.
Ronni_W Posted October 13, 2018 Posted October 13, 2018 I feel I am not explaining this very well, but if you know what I'm talking about, please let me know. I *think* I understand...but, if not, I hope you understand. . To me, the phrase is not meant as emotional blackmail, but rather, people are appealing to your sense of compassion and forgiveness. Yes, they are acknowledging that they recognize that their action/behaviour was poor, hurtful or non-constructive...but...that is precisely part of a proper apology. A proper response might be, though, "I do understand, but you also need to understand that I also need to hear that you're sorry, and are going to do your best to not let this happen again." 1
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