Elizabeth Lewis Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 I've been working out at the same gym for the past four years, usually at the same time in the evenings. I had always noticed this gorgeous guy working out as well and, unfortunately, he also has a girlfriend (what he sees in her, I really don't know, but it's not for me to say). They always used to come to the gym together and leave together as well, however, over the past year, I don't see them together as much, they come and go at different times and when they are there, they rarely say that much to one another. They just don't appear to be a happy couple enamored with one another. Well, over the past six to seven months, he always makes it a point to say hello to me everytime he sees me and finds reasons to start conversations and always makes direct eye contact. I'll catch him watching me in the gym and purposely making it a point to be in the same area I am. When he leaves, he almost always says good-bye. We live in the same neighborhood and when I'm out walking the dog and I see him, he makes it a point to stop and say hello and chat for a minute or two. Usually it takes a brick to fall on my head for me to realize that someone is interested in me or flirting with me, but I think he actually is. I can just tell by his body language and the way he looks at me. I am very attracted to this guy and would like to get to know him better, but every time I try to make an attempt, the timing is just bad or sometimes the girlfriend suddenly appears. A trainer at the gym said they've been seeing eachother for four years, are not married or living together. I know that just because people are "together" doesn't mean that they're necessarily happy. I just wonder...is he flirting with me because he has a girlfriend and knows it won't go any further or is he unhappy in his current relationship and looking for someone new? Should I continue to flirt back or be more forward or just let him take the lead? This is just so frustrating...any advice would be greatly appreciated:)
Merin Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 Well not to bust your bubble here but just because he has made a point to say hello to you and chat for a few minutes IMO doesn't mean he is flirting with you, or interested in starting anything more than casual friendlyness... What we see on the outside looking into someone else's relationship isn't always as it is on the inside... for all you know his GF or he may have got a different work schedule so they don't always go to the gym together.. could be anything. My feeling is regardless if you think someone is happy in thier currant relationship unless or until the person that you have an interest in is single then IMO they are off limits... My 2 cent's
Author Elizabeth Lewis Posted September 9, 2005 Author Posted September 9, 2005 Thanks for your candid view -- it's very much appreciated. In addition to me being the only woman he goes out of his way to speak to while he's there, it's just been my experience that guys don't make an special effort unless they want something more than friendship.
Merin Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 Thanks for your candid view -- it's very much appreciated. In addition to me being the only woman he goes out of his way to speak to while he's there, it's just been my experience that guys don't make an special effort unless they want something more than friendship. Sorry didn't mean to offend you. Maybe your right about him... my feeling is still that if he's already in a relationship and still there then he isn't available... but we all have different takes on that as well. Good Luck
She's Come Undone Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 Thanks for your candid view -- it's very much appreciated. In addition to me being the only woman he goes out of his way to speak to while he's there, it's just been my experience that guys don't make an special effort unless they want something more than friendship. That is my concensus as well. However only time will tell his true intentions, whether it's genuine friendship or more. If it beccomes dead-obvious flirting, just ask him "and how is your girlfriend?" Maybe he'll confess something about his relationship.
alphamale Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 , it's just been my experience that guys don't make an special effort unless they want something more than friendship. The above is pretty much true E.L. It is also true that many women are more attracted to a man who is already "taken" than one who is single and available. I think you should be honest and tell him you're interested and see what he does.
Author Elizabeth Lewis Posted September 9, 2005 Author Posted September 9, 2005 Thanks for the response... Coming from a man, that means a lot. I just don't want to be too forward, because don't guys usually like to be the one to pursue? Then, there's always the possibility of rejection, but, I guess nothing ventured, nothing gained, right?
mixwell Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 Then, there's always the possibility of rejection, but, I guess nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Now you know how it is for guys.. That is most of the time too !! Very rare will a girl persue.. Seems like there is more girls persuing lately though.. Thats just my observations from goin to clubs and other places.
imokurnot Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 Man you are still on this site!! I tried to PM you but you can't receive messages for some reason I hope all is well and send me a message.
Author Elizabeth Lewis Posted September 12, 2005 Author Posted September 12, 2005 I'm sorry about not getting messages...my computer at home is being fixed and I only have access at work. I've not seen this guy at the gym all weekend, but he'll most definitely be there tonight. Any words of wisdom? I'm tempted to just thow caution to the wind and get this ball rolling a bit faster. What do you think? EL
Author Elizabeth Lewis Posted September 12, 2005 Author Posted September 12, 2005 Man you are still on this site!! I tried to PM you but you can't receive messages for some reason I hope all is well and send me a message. I've posted a reply to you...not sure how to navigate this site properly to send messages, but if you get a chance, read my response. Hope you're well. EL
Dean3922 Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Your words. Most people, even if they're not interested will appreciate interest. If he tells you the g/f is still around you have put a thought in his head if he may become interested. You might as well find out where you stand. My vote is to push it a little bit and see.
ReluctantRomeo Posted September 12, 2005 Posted September 12, 2005 it's just been my experience that guys don't make an special effort unless they want something more than friendship. There are 2 schools of thought on this. Since one school is already represented in force on this thread, allow me to present the other. It is quite possible he is just being sociable. You may just be a friendly face he has latched onto in the gym context. I have several gym buddies like this, male and female... I just like wherever I am to have some kind of social contact and to make connections. Should I continue to flirt back or be more forward or just let him take the lead? This is just so frustrating...any advice would be greatly appreciated Flirt back if you enjoy flirting for fun. But don't get your hopes up. Even if he left his gf for you, how could you trust that he wouldn't leave you for the next girl he picks up at the gym?
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