Author dancingintherain12 Posted September 24, 2018 Author Posted September 24, 2018 So because they're dating loosely it's ok for him to blow off plans? If you tell someone, whether that person is your wife or your FWB that you'll see them on X night, it's not ok to blow them off It's also not ok to keep seeing someone who blows you off. It let's that person know you don't care about yourself enough to set standards The guy in question knows if he wants to stand OP up again, she'll do nothing but b*tch a little then sweep it under the rug Also I’ve blown off guys I wanted to see before to. Things come up. I have felt bad but respected them much more when they were able to be cool about it. If I have plans with a friend and she/he bails I’m not gonna stop being friends with them, unless they do it constantly. Anyways he didn’t blow me off. I did see a red flag and I’ll keep an eye on that flag. Discussion over . You don’t know me, you don’t know every little thing that goes on and what type of standards I have.
MaleIntuition Posted September 24, 2018 Posted September 24, 2018 So because they're dating loosely it's ok for him to blow off plans? If you tell someone, whether that person is your wife or your FWB that you'll see them on X night, it's not ok to blow them off It's also not ok to keep seeing someone who blows you off. It let's that person know you don't care about yourself enough to set standards The guy in question knows if he wants to stand OP up again, she'll do nothing but b*tch a little then sweep it under the rug Alright, you have a no tolerance for flaking policy, that’s okey. I’m more laid back and flexible and can understand that sometimes people flake and I would deal with each situation accordingly. 1
Author dancingintherain12 Posted October 12, 2018 Author Posted October 12, 2018 You guys were right. I’m so pissed. F him
Author dancingintherain12 Posted October 12, 2018 Author Posted October 12, 2018 So because they're dating loosely it's ok for him to blow off plans? If you tell someone, whether that person is your wife or your FWB that you'll see them on X night, it's not ok to blow them off It's also not ok to keep seeing someone who blows you off. It let's that person know you don't care about yourself enough to set standards The guy in question knows if he wants to stand OP up again, she'll do nothing but b*tch a little then sweep it under the rug Guess you were right
Dis Posted October 12, 2018 Posted October 12, 2018 Guess you were right I've made the same mistake as you in the past It's not a problem as long as you learn from it and don't repeat the pattern in the future Be glad it's over...but be sure to block/delete
Author dancingintherain12 Posted October 12, 2018 Author Posted October 12, 2018 Mentioned the guy who was on the verge of bailing on me in my previous post, even though he did end up seeing me. He doesnt follow through on his word. Saw this as a red flag but decided to give it the benefit of the doubt. So, last friday, he said if he is in the city on saturday we should do something. Texted him saturday, he told me hes in the city and now his boys want to go out but hes sooo tired. didnt mention seeing me at all. I told him im going out and he said well im on the verge of passing out but if i get some energy ill meet you. I told him no thanks and have a nice night.. We made plans for wednesday, he told me he might need to work late. didnt give me a "i cant make it" so i asked him how late and he said hopefully not so late, i'm so sorry etc i will let you know. he kinda kept me hanging the whole night. he texted at 12 am saying im so so sorry, i feel so bad. i didnt respond till the next morning. we talked that morning and he said hes going to a giants game tonight and he has a flight to LA in the next morning (today) hence why he had to work so late (to finish everything up) at that point, i was fed up and told him i'd like to speak to him over the phone. i was going to tell him i feel like hes flakey, our priorities are different and just tell him how i feel. he said he would call me, but he did not. now he is in LA and i havent heard from him. i guess im more so venting, but its just so disrespectful. i was prepared to tell him how i feel. did i scare him away? i know it shouldnt matter because hes a jerk.. my friend said he knew i was going to end it and hes post poning it until he gets back..
Author dancingintherain12 Posted October 12, 2018 Author Posted October 12, 2018 I've made the same mistake as you in the past It's not a problem as long as you learn from it and don't repeat the pattern in the future Be glad it's over...but be sure to block/delete Thanks. I made a thread about it explaining in detail. I'd appreciate it if you could check it out. 1
Dis Posted October 12, 2018 Posted October 12, 2018 Live and learn I made the same mistake some years back You teach people how to treat you. When he flaked on you the first time, you tolerated it. Which is why he did it again. Once it gets to a point, you just need to take your power back and block/delete. He was dragging you through the mud and instead of allowing him to, you should've cut that cord, got on your feet and never looked back. Guys like this usually get annoyed/upset when they learn their plan B has moved on. So move on. Block/delete. You're in control. Be in control Say to yourself, never again...and mean it 1
Author dancingintherain12 Posted October 12, 2018 Author Posted October 12, 2018 (edited) I wanted to be in control by letting him know this over the phone: "Hey, to be honest, I feel like you’ve been flaking a lot and reliability is something that’s important to me. I get things come up but you didn’t reschedule a plan after you couldn’t make it. And you kind of left me hanging all night and didn’t give me a definite yes or no which I felt was disrespectful to me and my time.. I’ve noticed it’s a pattern and something I’m not looking for right now. I just feel like our priorities are different and it’s not something Im going to allow to continue to happen." I just wanna call him out so friggen bad and say that. But I can't because the ball is in his court and ill look crazy if i say that Edited October 12, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Dis Posted October 12, 2018 Posted October 12, 2018 (edited) You're voicing your opinions and concerns to someone who doesn't care about them. If he did, he wouldn't have done what he did. I've learned, when we come to the end of the road with people who have treated us unfairly, we give ourselves closure. We don't look to the person who hasn't treated us with kindness to suddenly show kindness or give us answers. Plus, people like this guy think you'll never get "over him". You'll want to talk, you'll want answers (all of which do nothing but feed his ego) so surprise him by blocking him. Never speaking a word again to him. When I did this to one of my ex's (super arrogant dude) he was shocked I completely stopped talking to him. Show this guy you don't need him. You don't care what he has to say. You're done. Show him your new found sense of self respect and strength...and standards that no longer serve to feed his ego but serve to show him you're better than him. Silence speaks louder than words in situation like this...trust me Edited October 12, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator 1
Author dancingintherain12 Posted October 12, 2018 Author Posted October 12, 2018 (edited) You're right. I will not respond to him.. Hoping he texts me, so i can ignore his ass like he disrespected mine. Do you think he will reach out? I'm so hoping he will, so i can ignore him. Sorry, thats my evil ego talking. lol Edited October 12, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Dis Posted October 12, 2018 Posted October 12, 2018 You're right. F HIM! I will not respond to him.. Hoping he texts me, so i can ignore his ass like he disrespected mine. Do you think he will reach out? I'm so hoping he will, so i can ignore him. Sorry, thats my evil ego talking. lol Lol! We've all been there He probably will reach out so unless you're 100% sure you will NOT text him back, you should block him Just think of it this way, every time you're silent...his ego gets knocked down a few pegs. But every time you say something, even one word....his ego gets boosted up again So zip it 1
Recommended Posts