jeff77waltrip Posted October 11, 2018 Posted October 11, 2018 I have been dating this girl for a few months, getting to know one another. Things are going great and I am ready to advance this to something more serious I texted her last night and said I needed to stop by Saturdya night or sunday morning. She asked why and I told her we needed to talk. She said "Ok, about what?" I said "Well I think we need to decide where this is going , and what we are both feelings about each other" she said "alright" I said to her "its been almost 3 -4 months about, I just think it's time we decided what we want out of this" she then said "true true fair point" Was I wrong to tell her all that? I mean would it have been better to just surprise her with the talk?
basil67 Posted October 11, 2018 Posted October 11, 2018 What has she said to make you question yourself?
Author jeff77waltrip Posted October 11, 2018 Author Posted October 11, 2018 What has she said to make you question yourself? NOthing but did it make me look clingy
MidwestUSA Posted October 11, 2018 Posted October 11, 2018 OMG! Never, ever text something like that! It's the equivalent of your boss telling you he needs to see you in his office - tomorrow. No, just fire me here, now, on the spot. 'We need to talk' is usually a prelude to a break up. And since your intent is just the opposite, yes, it would have been more special in person. Always have important conversations in person. Wouldn't you want to see her face so you can gauge whether she's happy, shocked, pissed off, whatever? Don't you want to see a big smile and get a hug? Or are you afraid that won't be the case? 3
Author jeff77waltrip Posted October 11, 2018 Author Posted October 11, 2018 OMG! Never, ever text something like that! It's the equivalent of your boss telling you he needs to see you in his office - tomorrow. No, just fire me here, now, on the spot. 'We need to talk' is usually a prelude to a break up. And since your intent is just the opposite, yes, it would have been more special in person. Always have important conversations in person. Wouldn't you want to see her face so you can gauge whether she's happy, shocked, pissed off, whatever? Don't you want to see a big smile and get a hug? Or are you afraid that won't be the case? We are going to talk about it in person! I just wanted to giver a heads up about it
MidwestUSA Posted October 11, 2018 Posted October 11, 2018 We are going to talk about it in person! I just wanted to giver a heads up about it Good luck! What do you think her reponse will be?
Author jeff77waltrip Posted October 11, 2018 Author Posted October 11, 2018 I think she will want to be exclusive with me
MidwestUSA Posted October 11, 2018 Posted October 11, 2018 I think she will want to be exclusive with me Awesome. Since you gave her a heads up, think about taking her a small gift, or take her out to dinner. That would be sweet. Congrats!
Author jeff77waltrip Posted October 12, 2018 Author Posted October 12, 2018 anyone else have an opinion?
kendahke Posted October 12, 2018 Posted October 12, 2018 I have been dating this girl for a few months, getting to know one another. Things are going great and I am ready to advance this to something more serious I texted her last night and said I needed to stop by Saturdya night or sunday morning. She asked why and I told her we needed to talk. She said "Ok, about what?" I said "Well I think we need to decide where this is going , and what we are both feelings about each other" she said "alright" I said to her "its been almost 3 -4 months about, I just think it's time we decided what we want out of this" she then said "true true fair point" Was I wrong to tell her all that? I mean would it have been better to just surprise her with the talk? I see nothing wrong with saying this. There's nothing clingy in saying this. She can't read your mind and until you declare your intentions to her, she's not going to know for certain what you think about coupling up. You run less of a risk this way of her agreeing in the moment it's sprung on her and then changing her mind a few days later---she's getting those few days to think so she will be able to tell you on Saturday/Sunday what her answer will be. In fact, I would scale back my communication with her until you talk
RedHead5 Posted October 12, 2018 Posted October 12, 2018 Yeah I wouldn't have put the expectations on it but what's done is done. If you think she will be receptive I wouldn't worry about it at this point. I would have just planned to bring it up in casual conversation myself. But, my talks are much less serious because neither of us like to talk about feelings.
Gaeta Posted October 12, 2018 Posted October 12, 2018 No, nothing cligny, but you took the fun right out of it !! Geez! Why be so serious! it sounded like someone died! It didn't sound like you had fun the past 3 months? did you? It sounded like you're fed up with something and want to give her an ultimatum. 2
smackie9 Posted October 12, 2018 Posted October 12, 2018 No, nothing cligny, but you took the fun right out of it !! Geez! Why be so serious! it sounded like someone died! It didn't sound like you had fun the past 3 months? did you? It sounded like you're fed up with something and want to give her an ultimatum. This I agree with 100% This is the sort of thing you would want to make it romantic. You make it out to be like you don't know where this relationship is going and it has to be discussed....fail. Is this how you would propose to your future wife? Put some thought into it man.....make it special. 4
Versacehottie Posted October 12, 2018 Posted October 12, 2018 OMG! Never, ever text something like that! It's the equivalent of your boss telling you he needs to see you in his office - tomorrow. No, just fire me here, now, on the spot. 'We need to talk' is usually a prelude to a break up. And since your intent is just the opposite, yes, it would have been more special in person. Always have important conversations in person. Wouldn't you want to see her face so you can gauge whether she's happy, shocked, pissed off, whatever? Don't you want to see a big smile and get a hug? Or are you afraid that won't be the case? Agree. This is what people say when something "bad" is coming, not good. She is probably freaking out if she likes you and wants to make things more serious as you do. Good luck though
Kelliousme Posted October 12, 2018 Posted October 12, 2018 That's really scary LOL. Honestly whenever someone says "we need to talk", it NEVER sounds good. She's probably thinking you want to end things XD It's not wrong to let her know lol, but try to do it differently next time you want to talk to her about something romantic.
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