Did my friend with benefits have feelings for me?

[Michelle.Winchester]

Me and a friend weren't that close before my ex broke up with me. Then he was next to me. We hang out, drink a little beer and talked about things.

 

Well after that he proposed me to be his girlfriend but I denied, because I wasn't ready for new relationship and he didn't attracted me. So he told me that he will be then next to me not because he want to be with me, he just want to help me and be my friend. We texted each other. And after I saw my ex at that birthday of a friend, I was very emotional and few days after I accepted to be friends with benefits, with no feelings, just for fun.

 

We tried twice to have sex but he had a problem. But between that we became really close. He texted me, called me, searched for me. We went to school together because we are form the same neighborhood, he carried the heavy bags and he even went with me to the doctor on his choice. I was more passive. And before the second try to have sex, two days before, he kissed me when we were on our way to home after school and he said that I'm beautiful and he asked me "Is it strange my hand holding yours?" and I answered "I don't know".

 

Well the second try didn't happen because he couldn't again (maybe because he is metalhead and he drinks alcohol with painkillers because he had trauma on his leg) and my face raged because he didn't shaved his beard. He gave me cream and calm me down and then he kissed me again, but in a different way.

 

After that, we became distant. And he ended our friendship, because he couldn't be friend with me, because he couldn't do it, it's ****ty for him and he thinks that we can't be friends, it was only sex (I was fine with only that not deepening into the friendship ) and he cared when there was something, don't wanna lose time for something that he don't know what it is and etc.

 

I don't find problem because I don't have feelings.We don't talk anymore and we barely say "hello". So did he liked me?

Edited October 14, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[smackie9]

Oh hell ya.

[PRW]

The LJBF Beta Orbiter

http://en.wikimannia.org/Beta_orbiter

 

Well after that he proposed me to be his girlfriend but I denied, because I wasn't ready for new relationship and he didn't attracted me.

 

He is a typical Orbiter. Google the term.

 

So he told me that he will be then next to me not because he want to be with me, he just want to help me and be my friend.

Typical thing that an Orbiter says

 

We tried twice to have sex but he had a problem.

Orbiter's nerves got to him. Orbiters aren't used to "getting the girl", so when they do they sometimes can't handle it,...can't perform.

 

I'm beautiful and he asked me "Is it strange my hand holding yours?" and I answered "I don't know".

Wacky thing for him to say, but is common with an Orbiter. It is a validation seeking comment. It feels strange to him to be holding your hand. It is no wonder he couldn't perform sexually earlier.

 

Well the second try didn't happen because he couldn't again (maybe because he is metalhead and he drinks alcohol with painkillers

No, it is because of what I said earlier.

 

After that, we became distant. And he ended our friendship, because he couldn't be friend with me, because he couldn't do it, it's ****ty for him and he thinks that we can't be friends

That is just the excuse. He was embarrassed and humiliated by his sexual inability.

 

So did he liked me?

Orbiters by definition are interested in you all along but don't have the skills or the confidence to do anything about it. They stay in your "orbit" while you are involved in another guy waiting till you break up with the guy and hope that you will turn to them. They rely heavily on you being the leader and always making the first move because they don't have the skills and confidence to do it themselves. Edited October 11, 2018 by PRW

[ExpatInItaly]

Yes, he liked you. But you already know that.

[Michelle.Winchester]

So what should I do? I want my friend back, because I have feelings too.

[Ruby Slippers]

You can try to be friends with him, but he may not be able to handle that and you'll have to accept it. Or he may need some time to get over the romantic attachment before being friends.

 

Don't let him do any boyfriend-y things for you. That would be taking advantage of him. Keep it strictly friends only.

[Michelle.Winchester]

You can try to be friends with him, but he may not be able to handle that and you'll have to accept it. Or he may need some time to get over the romantic attachment before being friends.

 

Don't let him do any boyfriend-y things for you. That would be taking advantage of him. Keep it strictly friends only.

 

 

But we don't talk anymore... And I don't know if a big talk about feelings and problems will fix things

[PRW]

I don't know if a big talk about feelings and problems will fix things

 

That is usually what "breaks" things. Just let it go for a while. If you both have the same social circles you will run across each other later after the emotions settle down a bit. Just don't "make a thing" out of anything.

[Michelle.Winchester]

That is usually what "breaks" things. Just let it go for a while. If you both have the same social circles you will run across each other later after the emotions settle down a bit. Just don't "make a thing" out of anything.

 

We are in the same circles... But we barely say "hi".

[PRW]

We are in the same circles... But we barely say "hi".

Just let it go for a while. Don't "make a thing" out of it.

[Michelle.Winchester]

Just let it go for a while. Don't "make a thing" out of it.

 

Well he keeps ignoring me.

[PRW]

Well he keeps ignoring me.

He will "come back around" when he feels comfortable doing so if you leave him alone for a while. If you keep poking the issue with a stick, he will continue to remain uncomfortable and stay away.