Ranagazoo Posted October 11, 2018 Posted October 11, 2018 Hi, My girlfriend and I had been boyfriend and girlfriend for around 8 months. Things were great and probably the best relationship I’ve had, there was loads of mutual feelings, always something to talk about and just generally enjoying the company of each other. We both got on with each other’s families and have been out socialising a couple of times. Things gradually got serious and we were both on the same page, no arguments and nothing about her that annoyed me. It felt like it was a very open and honest relationship. All in all just a very good relationship and one I was proud to be a part of. Over the past few months I have had some uncertainty surrounding my job and had a lot of setbacks. She was there for me during this time just like I have been there previously to support her with difficult periods in her job. During my period of uncertainty I found myself being upset out of frustration more than anything but still never taking it out on her just turning to her for some help and guidance. She was really good during this period and reassured me things would be ok. This uncertainty was then over when I secured myself a new job on a better wage and things were looking up. We were continuously planning out future together with regular talks and excitement about this. We were looking at houses online etc and she would send me houses she had found online regularly, most recently just last week. We were also looking at holidays and other future trips. We had a city break of 5 days booked for the end of this month and a Christmas trip for a couple of days in December. Everything seemed great and I was in my happy place. We went out on Thursday last week for food and a few drinks. Everything was good and she text me that evening to tell me she had had a great night and couldn’t wait for Saturday. We went out on Saturday with her mother and again had a great day although she was quiet due to feeling under the weather and had lost her voice. On Sunday we had food in her parents (where she lives) and she did some work on her laptop. We then watched a film in the evening with her parents and went to bed and cuddled in as normal. We were up early on Monday and I went home and she went to work. I travelled back to work on Monday (I work away from home for 9 days at a time) and in the evening after she finished work she text me to say she hoped I got there safely and that she had just got home. I arrived there at around the same time. Then my whole world felt like it fell apart, she rang me on FaceTime and said that all of a sudden her feelings for me had gone and they’d gone for around a month and that she didn’t feel the same anymore. Yet she couldn’t explain how or why or when exactly they had gone and didn’t give me a full reason just said she couldn’t be with me anymore. This would be sort of fair enough but what is baffling me is the fact that from the way she had been with me never gave me any cause for alarm, she still talked of our future, still said she loved me etc. It has came as quiete a shock and it has destroyed me. I text her mum and her mum was also in shock that what had happened. She has since went about removing me from all her social media and removed and blocked all my family. I really don’t know what has happened! Anyone any idea of what has happened so I can take some closure?
SouthernIslander Posted October 11, 2018 Posted October 11, 2018 Do you think she may be seeing someone else or something else is going on in her life that you weren’t aware of? I am a cut all ties person when I end a relationship, but it still seems a little drastic/sudden, unless there were other problems that you hadn’t mentioned.
SouthernIslander Posted October 11, 2018 Posted October 11, 2018 Do you think she may be seeing someone else or something else is going on in her life that you weren’t aware of? I am a cut all ties person when I end a relationship, but it still seems a little drastic/sudden, unless there were other problems that you hadn’t mentioned. Sorry you are going through this. :-(
SouthernIslander Posted October 11, 2018 Posted October 11, 2018 Sorry for the double post! Tried to edit and double posted by mistake!
Author Ranagazoo Posted October 11, 2018 Author Posted October 11, 2018 Do you think she may be seeing someone else or something else is going on in her life that you weren’t aware of? I am a cut all ties person when I end a relationship, but it still seems a little drastic/sudden, unless there were other problems that you hadn’t mentioned. Sorry you are going through this. :-( It has been a thought going through my head that she maybe is seeing someone else but not sure that is the case. She was always open with her phone however she did remain friends with her ex’s sister and socialised with her and her friends from time to time. She also used to mention her ex a lot but mainly comparing me to Him and me being made to feel better than he was. There were no problems that I am aware of. There was no budging her when I asked to talk things over to see what the issues may have been she just said there’s no point in talking things over as for her there’s nothing there anymore. This has come very suddenly and is something I am struggling to understand.
Author Ranagazoo Posted October 11, 2018 Author Posted October 11, 2018 For context, how old are you both, OP? I’m 28 and she is 27
Gretchen12 Posted October 12, 2018 Posted October 12, 2018 Hmm... 27. Did she ever tell you what's her longest relationship?
ExpatInItaly Posted October 12, 2018 Posted October 12, 2018 I’m 28 and she is 27 I had wondered if maybe she is just too young for a serious commitment, but that doesn't appear to be the case. I admit that I too would not be totally surprised if she has someone else on her radar.
SevenCity Posted October 12, 2018 Posted October 12, 2018 From what I’ve read here and seen myself, a quick sudden turnaround and extreme blocking of anyone associated with you are often signs of another dude. She likely feels guilty and doesn’t want to face what she is doing or did to you. In any case, it doesn’t matter. The only thing you need to know is that she left you.
Hrting Posted October 12, 2018 Posted October 12, 2018 Ranagazoo, this sounds pretty identical to my situation... we had an 8 month relationship and everything was pretty amazing. We started looking for houses together and I told her I loved her, then... 2 weeks later her feelings changed and she said she didn’t know if she was in love with me and said she didn’t want to be with me anymore.. I think maybe in both our situations they either started talking to someone new who gave them that excitement of a new thing, or the talk of commitment and settling with someone scared them off as they weren’t ready for it yet.. Either way it hurts and is very painful. I’m at 1.5 months of no contact and still miss her everyday. All I can say is trying to answer the question why is painful and a waste of our energy.. give her time and don’t communicate. Let her figure it out with space between you two. I’m still hoping that she will come around soon and reach out to me, but In the mean time I’m working on myself to try and be happy and fit again. So if she does come back around to me she will see a new improved me.
SouthernIslander Posted October 12, 2018 Posted October 12, 2018 It has been a thought going through my head that she maybe is seeing someone else but not sure that is the case. She was always open with her phone however she did remain friends with her exÂ’s sister and socialised with her and her friends from time to time. She also used to mention her ex a lot but mainly comparing me to Him and me being made to feel better than he was. There were no problems that I am aware of. There was no budging her when I asked to talk things over to see what the issues may have been she just said thereÂ’s no point in talking things over as for her thereÂ’s nothing there anymore. This has come very suddenly and is something I am struggling to understand. Maybe someone else, it may not be. Whatever it is normally eventually comes out, just may not be as soon as you'd like for it to be. I had a few long term relationships that ended for various reasons and no matter what happened...the break up sucked and it took time to get over it. I found it was best for me to detach emotionally from them and I couldn't do that if I depended on them for answers to move on. So, as I got older "closure" from an ex was nice but not a necessity. Work on you, things you could have done better and letting go of things that wasn't your fault. Good luck to you and hope that you feel better.
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