chocolate_boy Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 Hi guys, I'll try and be brief.. Been dating a girl for 7 months, however recently she's been working every hour of the day, as have I and we haven't really had time to spend "quality time" together... I work evenings and she works day times so she likes to be in bed early, I'm a nightowl though and am often up til 5am. So in the week, I only see when she comes to my apartment and usually falls straight asleep. We've also only made love about 3 times in the last 3 months! Recently she's also become quite clingy on weekends, if I decide I want a night out with my friends, she'll get upset about it, cos we don't have much time together during week.. but I feel I also need time with my friends.. and I invite her along, but she doesn't drink and likes to be in bed early, so I always end up leaving early and cutting my night short.. not good with my friends. She's been quite down a lot recently (maybe cos of her work, but she volunteers to do it all), and she's a fitness fanatic so spends hours in the gymn every day. Final straw was today, one of my best friends who lives a long way away, decided she was gonna come and see me tonight with one of our other friends, it was out of the blue, phone call at 8am this morning asking if I'd join them. This girl has been a close friend for 4 years... then my girlfriend goes off on one, cos we had plans for this afternoon and she wanted to spend the night with me... Again I invited her, and she tells me she doesn't like my friend (she's only met her once) and she gets jealous cos we're close... and that makes her feel like ****.... I got annoyed and apologies for sort of breaking our plans tonight, but I will see her tommorrow and sunday, and we're going away on vacation on tuesday for 2 weeks together... I said, these things happen in life sometimes, and she should understand that I haven't seen my friend since February and wanted to see her. I would totally understand, but she just starts crying and getting angry and storms out of my apartment.. that was two hours ago, we haven't spoke since... To be honest I'm considering ending it now... I don't feel happy. Any advice?
LucreziaBorgia Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 I think you already know in your heart what you want to do, and it sounds to me like it would be the best for all parties involved in the long run.
kscholze Posted September 9, 2005 Posted September 9, 2005 My ex and I had the same problems and she would get off work late and I would be in bed, (always woke up for sex). Then I would work all day and she would work all night. Eventually she left saying she wasn't getting enough attention. So I sacraficed and gave her more attention and would stay out late with her. About a month later she left for other reasons.
Zoey Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 It totally sucks when your boyfriend has other really good girlfriends. It's natural to be jealous. Girls are generally really suspicious of other girls. AND, I'll bet that your good girlfriend isn't making it very easy for she and your real girlfriend to be friends. Honestly, once you commit to a girlfriend, you have to cool it with the opposite-sex friends a little. I would be pretty pissed if my boyfriend blew a date with me to hang with a good opposite-sex friend. Meet your "friend" for dinner, and then hang out with your girlfriend. Which one do you want to have sex with?? That's the one that you should be making time for.
suegail Posted September 10, 2005 Posted September 10, 2005 It seems to me you have offered to always take her with you when you go out and you have now told her she is certainly welcome to be with you when you see your friend. It's not as if you're trying to exclude her in any way. I guess I'd let her know that she has a decision to make. She can either join you when you offer to take her with you or she can allow you the time you want to spend with friends and put forth no complaints whatsoever. Let her know that your mind is made up regarding this matter and if she can not accept either option, there may be very little left to discuss which has to do with your relationship. That is my advice anyway. It's what I would do. I don't consider it cruel or unfair in any way - - just honest.
Author chocolate_boy Posted September 11, 2005 Author Posted September 11, 2005 I'm going to meet her tommorrow evening for a talk. She wanted to make it tonight, but I think a couple of days to cool off a bit is a good idea. Thanks for all your advice, I'll let you know how I get on! x
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