josi334 Posted October 10, 2018 Posted October 10, 2018 Hi all I have a silly dilemma - I have a crush in my neighbor - he lives in the building across mine and we pass by each other often - I had noticed him a while ago but was to shy to say hi but then one day he was passing by me smiled and said hi - I said hi back but I couldn't really smile back since I kind froze ( I was caught by surprise by that). So I've been purposely trying to "bump" into him - I try to leave the same time in the mornings but with not much luck and since I am moving out in the end of this month I only have a few weeks to try "meeting" him. Anyway today I was home and saw that he was leaving his building ( I can see it from my kitchen window) but then he went back inside ( it looked like he forgot something) so I got my purse and went outside like I was going somewhere ( we live near some shops) and we got out from our buildings almost the same time - I gave a shy look and said a shy hi and kept walking kind slow so he would pass by me and my plan was to ask him if he could play tennis ( I play tennis and I am trying to find someone close by to play) but then before passing me he crossed the street and continued walking on the other side - I was bummed:( - I thought he was kind flirting with me as well since the other day he was passing by when I was in my car and he turned his head to look at me and smiled but I took his "actions" as he not interest in meeting me. Do you think I should give up or still ask about tennis? thanks in advance!
alphamale Posted October 10, 2018 Posted October 10, 2018 don't ask about the tennis stuff, most men don't play tennis anymore. just ask him out to happy hour for a few drinks after work. keep it casual and low key. make sure you tell him that you're moving in a month 1
ExpatInItaly Posted October 10, 2018 Posted October 10, 2018 I would also forgo the tennis idea. It doesn't leave you with much to go on if he says no, that he doesn't play tennis. I think your better bet would be to strike up conversation with something you both definitely have in common. For example, commiserate about the too-slow repairs in the the building or the friendly but noisy neighbours on the floor above you. As alphamale suggested, I'd also try to work it into the conversation that you are leaving in a month, so he gets that you won't be bumping him casually anymore within the next few weeks (ie. if you're going to get to know each other a little, now is the time to start) Get talking a little first, then suss him out and see if he might be available to continue the conversation over coffee or something. 1
Author josi334 Posted October 10, 2018 Author Posted October 10, 2018 Thanks. Yes, I agree - its better if I can strike a conversation to see his level of interest but not sure what to say and I get very nervous when I see him. Not sure that will happen though since I have only 2 weeks left here. I will be living close by so hopefully I will end up bumping into him somewhere someday.
alphamale Posted October 10, 2018 Posted October 10, 2018 Thanks. Yes, I agree - its better if I can strike a conversation to see his level of interest but not sure what to say and I get very nervous when I see him. Not sure that will happen though since I have only 2 weeks left here. I will be living close by so hopefully I will end up bumping into him somewhere someday. next time you see him tell him that you need help lifting a box (or whatever heavy object). make sure you prep the heavy object beforehand. he'll come over to assist you and after you two are done you can offer him a drink/coffee/beer and then you can sit down and chat. after you chat you give him your phone # and tell him you're moving 1
Gretchen12 Posted October 11, 2018 Posted October 11, 2018 Just say, Hi I've seen you many times and I've been meaning to introduce myself, my name is ---. Then you say that unfortunately you will not be neighbors for much longer because you'll be moving (but not too far, right?). You talk about apartments/houses and you ask how many rooms/sharing/rent/buy etc. to see if he tells you his living situation (girlfriend or no). If he seems receptive, then you say hey! are you free to grab a drink/coffee right now. The right now part makes it seem spontaneous, like you just got the idea, not like you've been eyeing him for a long time. If he cannot (we expect that) he might offer another time. If he leaves it open then give him your number and leave it at that.
SouthernIslander Posted October 11, 2018 Posted October 11, 2018 next time you see him tell him that you need help lifting a box (or whatever heavy object). make sure you prep the heavy object beforehand. he'll come over to assist you and after you two are done you can offer him a drink/coffee/beer and then you can sit down and chat. after you chat you give him your phone # and tell him you're moving ^^ Good idea
Author josi334 Posted October 12, 2018 Author Posted October 12, 2018 I don't feel comfortable asking him that - he already notice I flirt with him. I would ask his help if we had talked before. One thing I was thinking in asking is if he needs any furniture ( I know he moved here this past summer) since I am selling some one of mine. How does that sounds? I don't want to ask him for the coffee in the first time we talk - I feel it will sound a little "too soon". I think the fact the he changed side on the street the other day and avoided passing by me gave me a "not very interested"vibe.
Rocker71 Posted October 12, 2018 Posted October 12, 2018 Hey! This is 2018. Not 1970. Ask him out!! I've never known of any guy caring one bit if the girl seemed 'desperate'. Ask him out!! You'll regret it if you don't.
Recommended Posts