valval Posted October 10, 2018 Posted October 10, 2018 (edited) Long story short, my ex and I have had MANY issues the last few months. We harbored resentment for things we both did in the past, got in a lot of arguments, etc. etc. We have been together for 2 years. We got into an argument one day after we both drank heavily after my ex told me he didn't want to marry me. My ex told me he didn't mean it, apologized profusely, but I was very hurt by it and was drunk and angry. This was said in front of his friends so I was humiliated; I didn't accept his apology and ended up going home. I broke up with him and told him to basically stay away from me the following day since he didn't see a future with me anyway. I regretted that decision like 2 days later and told him I wanted to get back together. He refused, told me he's tired of me breaking up with him every other week, and that he was willing to consider taking a "break" to work on ourselves (unclear whether this was exclusive or not). He was very rude at this point and basically told me to accept it or it was my loss and by forever. I refused, told him I didn't do breaks and was very hurt, so told him to never contact me again. I blocked him on everything after that. He continued trying to pursue me by calling on private and I pretty much told him to go away and that I couldn't believe he wanted to take a break and that I didn't accept his dumb terms. He told me sorry that he would change his terms but I refused. A few days went by, and I gave in and answered one of his calls. We were talking things out and the first thing I asked was whether or not he did anything while we were broken up. He told me "nothing" happened. I honestly didn't believe this since and had to ask him multiple times and he finally admitted that he went out, got drunk, and hit on one girl and that was it. Naturally I was very angry but I ended up accepting it and we got back together. We got into another huge argument and at the end of it he told me he lied and that he had actually hit on a bunch of girls that weekend. He told me he was hurt, that I pushed him away, and that after all of that all he wanted was to come back to me. I was furious because he lied to me and the whole time we were together I felt like there was more. We set up another time to get together and talk but I cancelled it after he told me "the longer you act like this, the higher chance of something happening." I felt like he was threatening me and basically telling me that if I didn't act right he would go sleep with other women. I blocked him again. I ended up contacting him after the following weekend and the first thing he told me was that he made out with a random girl. I didn't even ask, he just told me he needed to get that off his chest before we talked. He told me it was my fault and that it meant nothing, that he didn't know we would ever talk again since I blocked him. I realized that it was my fault for breaking up with him originally when i knew I wanted to be with him, but now that I know all of these things I'm having a hard time getting over it. The thought of him being with other people has destroyed me and I feel so betrayed. Am I in the wrong for getting mad that he lied? Isn't he in the wrong for lying... After all of this I am extremely hurt that he knew how hurt I was that he talked to other girls and ended up going out and doing more. He keeps telling me that he was single and that I should have never broken up with him, that I brought this thought of being single into his head and made it a reality even though he still loves me very much and wants a fresh start. This all happened over the course of 2 weeks. Edited October 10, 2018 by valval
Malin889 Posted October 10, 2018 Posted October 10, 2018 Are you back together? If so, please break up with him and stop talking to him. He's a disgusting excuse for a boyfriend. You don't need him.
Author valval Posted October 10, 2018 Author Posted October 10, 2018 No, we are supposed to talk later this week.
ExpatInItaly Posted October 10, 2018 Posted October 10, 2018 What he did or didn't do on this "break" is the least of your worries here, really. Your relationship is dysfunctional and isn't going anywhere. It's time to end it for good, rather than dragging out the inevitable. You two don't work together and there won't be a happy ending for you.
PegNosePete Posted October 10, 2018 Posted October 10, 2018 No, we are supposed to talk later this week. What are you going to talk about? There's nothing to say other than look, this relationship is clearly not working and dysfunctional. I don't think there's any point flogging this dead horse any more. I would just text him that and cancel the "talk".
BaileyB Posted October 10, 2018 Posted October 10, 2018 Healthy relationships are not on again-off again, with frequent breakups. That is a huge sign that this relationship is very dysfunctional. It's time for this relationship to end. I would text him and tell him that you have reconsidered, this is over.
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