Why do guys try to play it off as if they never wanted you when you don’t want them?

[Linaa]

This guy that I never was attracted to in a romantic/sexual way and that I only wanted to be friends with would always try to get me to change how I felt about him. And change how I saw him. He thought he would be able to get me to be as attracted to him as he was to me. Saying if he got me that’ll be a win. If he got me in bed that’ll be a win. How attractive, sexy and cute I was. Tried to court me and took me out even though every time we vibed mines was on a friendly level and he mistook it for more.

 

Months later he’s like I didn’t really want you. If I wanted you I could have had you. If I had to choose between you or your sister I would have chose her. Then said how I get boring quick all because I choose not to smoke or drink and that my sister is more willing to try new things all because she asked about a certain kind of weed because she was gonna need it to get through one of her work shifts. I said I never Been stressed out enough to smoke.

 

So suddenly because I said that i’m boring and I stay in a shell lol but months before we would talk and laugh about any and everything all day and he legit would say he liked spending time with me. He starts saying how he really wanted my sister, he didn’t even meet my sister until after trying to get at me for months and was still trying to after he met her. Now suddenly it’s different when he couldn’t get me to want him like he wanted me lol.

 

One time he even assumed I was just playing hard to get and When I told him i wasn’t playing and that I legit always wanted to friends despite how many times he tried to change my mind by us going to places like six flags, the mall and out to eat together,and we went half on the bill with most of those outings, he was all mad and upset.

 

Talking about how he wasted his time. He literally talks about how many girls try to get at him. How cougars flirt with him etc so I guess when a girl he wants doesn’t want him his pride/ego is hurt.

Edited October 10, 2018 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[coolheadal]

Why do you bother hanging out with him. He wants you as his girl friend to date and etc. You just want him as a friend to hangout with. But he's upset and mad at you because your not putting out on him. So the best thing to do here just don't hangout with him anymore, because #1 you are not attracted to him #2 you do not want to change your mind about him as a friend only. He has his ego as he said he's wasting his time with you because he want you put out of him, meaning more than friends. You stand-up and say you had enough of his disrespectful wants and needs that you don't to get involved with him.

[PRW]

Well without getting all bogged down in the details which are mostly just a distraction....

 

What you have is just a typical Beta Made Orbiter situation. Not sure what that is then google "Beta Male Orbiter",...it is an actual term.

 

In answer to the real question in the subject:

"Why do guys try to play it off as if they never wanted you when you don’t want them?"

 

They do it for the same reason women do the same thing. In fact Beta Male Orbiters act a lot like woman sometimes, they even use their emotions as a weapon. They get rejected, the ego gets bruised, and they are trying to cover for it. It isn't anymore complicated than that. A more masculine man would shrug it off with a smile and say, "Let me know if you change your mind", and move on to the next woman he finds.

[kendahke]

Why do guys try to play it off as if they never wanted you when you don’t want them?

 

Pride.

 

It goes before destruction.

[PRW]

Pride.

 

It goes before destruction.

Proverbs 16:18

[Logo]

Confident men, who know themselves, have no use nor need for labels to distinguish themselves from others or overcompensate for weaknesses.

 

It's no different than flaunting one's brand name clothes to feel good about one's self; it's a false need to reassert one's image when that image is only propped up by a superficial facade.

 

alpha beta gamma delta epsilon zeta

 

Know Thyself ................

[dispatch3d]

I hope this guy moves on from you, he's being kinda crummy now, but I wouldn't exactly call all the play dates you two had where you had no intentions "good behaviour" on your part either.....

[Chilli]

Yep , exactly.

 

And as for all the labels and male type's , for crying out loud women do all the same stuff , they have pride and egos too.

Matter of fact op's ego seems bothered now that he's decided not to giva shyt anymore .

 

l don't see why you care op , ya got what ya wanted so all should be well now right.

[Larry56]

I personally think you're upset now because he's most likely not paying anymore attention to you anymore... Why else would you come on to a forum like this to talk about ??

[Linaa]

I personally think you're upset now because he's most likely not paying anymore attention to you anymore... Why else would you come on to a forum like this to talk about ??

 

I’m definitely not upset lol I’m attracted to other guys and I talk to other guys the reason I questioned it was because I was curious if every guys ego gets hurt when they’re denied because it’s clear as day that he only said those things because I chose to only be friends. I’m actually still cool with him even after he said those things I’ve never been the type to take situations and words like that personal because I know it’s out of anger at the moment. We still plan on going to the fright frest together with a few other friends. And as for the people who said I lead him on and I was wrong I think you must know I always made it pretty Clear whenever we hung out or talked that I enjoyed how I gained another “friend” not a potential boyfriend he hurt his own feelings by hearing what he wanted to hear and believing what he wanted to believe. In no way did him saying those things make me feel less about myself or insecure.

[Linaa]

Yep , exactly.

 

And as for all the labels and male type's , for crying out loud women do all the same stuff , they have pride and egos too.

Matter of fact op's ego seems bothered now that he's decided not to giva shyt anymore .

 

l don't see why you care op , ya got what ya wanted so all should be well now right.

 

lol my ego isn’t bothered I’ve always been more of a humble type. I only asked because it made me curious if all guys act in that way when they’re turned down. I didn’t take it to heart in any way I actually laughed about it with my sister. All three of us were having a conversation over FaceTime when he said those things he actually could have been joking because we play like that and crack jokes on each other all the time or he could be actually hurt and playing it off as joking either way we’re all silly/goofy people so we say things like that and we move on and continue being friends. If I had known this thread site was so literal and serious about every thread/question posted I would have just left it alone. Like the question of the thread was my general curiosity. I just thought describing the situation would help me get some intriguing answers. It was never as deep/serious as you guys have made it lol.

[PRW]

I always made it pretty Clear whenever we hung out or talked that I enjoyed how I gained another “friend” not a potential boyfriend he hurt his own feelings by hearing what he wanted to hear and believing what he wanted to believe.

 

Understood. This happens daily. It is the biggest problem that insecure guys have with women. It is only going to get worse in our screwed up society we live in.

[Chilli]

lol my ego isn’t bothered I’ve always been more of a humble type. I only asked because it made me curious if all guys act in that way when they’re turned down. I didn’t take it to heart in any way I actually laughed about it with my sister. All three of us were having a conversation over FaceTime when he said those things he actually could have been joking because we play like that and crack jokes on each other all the time or he could be actually hurt and playing it off as joking either way we’re all silly/goofy people so we say things like that and we move on and continue being friends. If I had known this thread site was so literal and serious about every thread/question posted I would have just left it alone. Like the question of the thread was my general curiosity. I just thought describing the situation would help me get some intriguing answers. It was never as deep/serious as you guys have made it lol.

 

 

Don't worry l hardly took it deep and serious didn't even read it all.

l only bothered because of the title and and a guys ego bs thrown in somewhere and then a few comments l glanced at beta guys and all the bs analyzing .

 

But eh , l took a look , maybe he does prefer your sister now, maybe you are a bit dull for him after he gets to know you more, who cares he's off your case right.

Back in my single days l had a switch and if she didn't like me so be it , l'd switch her off and move on , seen plenty of chicks do all the same stuff even get dirty on you later.

But funny actually too sometimes l got similar reactions a few times. Some even turned and started hanging around me after that.

But eh , don't blame a guy for being a guy and trying to get the girl , be flattered , it's a compliment , and some chicks do mess a guy about and wanna make sure she's worth the effort , they can be hard and very mixed signals to read to us guys sometimes .

He shouldn't have said stuff about you though unless it was just in fun .

life goes on , right.

Edited October 10, 2018 by Chilli

[guest569]

I never bother with friendship where the guy wants more. They won't take no for an answer and get bitter jealous and resentful. Why they stick around is pathetic. They think you will change your mind.

[Linaa]

Don't worry l hardly took it deep and serious didn't even read it all.

l only bothered because of the title and and a guys ego bs thrown in somewhere and then a few comments l glanced at beta guys and all the bs analyzing .

 

But eh , l took a look , maybe he does prefer your sister now, maybe you are a bit dull for him after he gets to know you more, who cares he's off your case right.

Back in my single days l had a switch and if she didn't like me so be it , l'd switch her off and move on , seen plenty of chicks do all the same stuff even get dirty on you later.

But funny actually too sometimes l got similar reactions a few times. Some even turned and started hanging around me after that.

But eh , don't blame a guy for being a guy and trying to get the girl , be flattered , it's a compliment , and some chicks do mess a guy about and wanna make sure she's worth the effort , they can be hard and very mixed signals to read to us guys sometimes .

He shouldn't have said stuff about you though unless it was just in fun .

life goes on , right.

 

 

Eh I guess. My sisters personality is about the same as mine. Neither of us like parties, she only wants to smoke to get through a work shift otherwise she doesn’t smoke and neither of us drink. We’re both pretty silly/goofy, she prefers tattoos I’m not big on Them lol and our definition of fun is traveling, eating, amusement parks binge watching, matching outfits with our friends etc lol she knows more about cars and basketball more than me but i don’t think that determines who is more or less dull. That boy even flirts with my mom lol he’s confused at first it was I look better than my sister now it’s my sister looks better than me lol which is why I say I don’t take it to heart/personal one day it’s one thing the next it’s another with him. I just Know I’m cool with being friends and my sister says she doesn’t want him in that way either so he just has to accept it lol.

[Linaa]

Eh I guess. My sisters personality is about the same as mine. Neither of us like parties, she only wants to smoke to get through a work shift otherwise she doesn’t smoke and neither of us drink. We’re both pretty silly/goofy, she prefers tattoos I’m not big on Them lol and our definition of fun is traveling, eating, amusement parks binge watching, matching outfits with our friends etc lol she knows more about cars and basketball more than me but i don’t think that determines who is more or less dull. That boy even flirts with my mom lol he’s confused at first it was I look better than my sister now it’s my sister looks better than me lol which is why I say I don’t take it to heart/personal one day it’s one thing the next it’s another with him. I just Know I’m cool with being friends and my sister says she doesn’t want him in that way either so he just has to accept it lol.

 

It’s like he’s trying to make it competiton with me and my sister and neither of us are like that. To us we’re both just as attractive and fun lol. We have always been Close never against each other.

[Chassit]

Based on the OP alone, he is distorting reality to make himself feel better. He is convincing himself he can have any girl he wants. I say never contact him again.

[dispatch3d]

Why did I decide to read more of this thread. Still have the same thoughts - hopefully this guy just moves on. I guess its just for perspective on my part.