fieldoflavender Posted October 8, 2018 Posted October 8, 2018 So I had a crush on this guy from work who I see once a few months. I’m not that glamorous at work since like who has the time to glam up every day for work. I wear glasses at work and sometimes contacts for dates and social stuff. He clicked he liked me on this dating app so I clicked back - like who knows maybe he mis clicked. Then he messaged me first and goes oh I like your profile as if he doesn’t know who I am. I told him my name then he apologized for the awkwardness. I asked three people if my pictures are unrecognizable and they said they’re not. So is he faking it or is he now regretful that he clicked because I’m not nice to look at in real life?
kendahke Posted October 8, 2018 Posted October 8, 2018 So is he faking it or is he now regretful that he clicked because I’m not nice to look at in real life? No one but him knows the answer to that question.
Author fieldoflavender Posted October 8, 2018 Author Posted October 8, 2018 If I like him should I still pursue? Or is him apologizing meaning he regrets?
LauraXX Posted October 9, 2018 Posted October 9, 2018 Who knows. If he's still texting you, why not respond and see where it goes. If he's not, he might either regret matching with you. Or he might just think it's awkward to date somebody from work. 1
kendahke Posted October 9, 2018 Posted October 9, 2018 If I like him should I still pursue? Or is him apologizing meaning he regrets? He might just be apologizing because he didn't recognize you as a work colleague. Yes, if you like him, toss him another bone and see if he'll take it up. If he doesn't, then stop trying to pursue him, re-bait and drop your line back into the pond. He might not date coworkers.
PRW Posted October 9, 2018 Posted October 9, 2018 He could have recognized you and just trying to be respectful and not embarass you by making a big deal that you two work together. If he has the guts to, he will make a date offer. Confident guys don't create drama. If he doesn't have the guts to make a date then he won't, and you should leave it alone. The last thing you need is to get involved with a guy you work with who doesn't have the confidence to make a date. Guys without the confidence and guts to make the date are usually big sources of drama at work (or anywhere), which is not a place you want a bunch of drama. 1
Author fieldoflavender Posted October 10, 2018 Author Posted October 10, 2018 Thanks guys - so he didn't pick up the bone so I guess he isn't actually interested in me. The reason I guess isn't so important - maybe of the work thing, maybe he thinks I'm ugly in real life (ouch), he is playing around and would rather not play with a work colleague - who even knows. But yes I will move on. I don't see him that often anyways. A bit of bruise on the ego, but I guess at least my pictures are pretty? *rolls eyes*
PRW Posted October 10, 2018 Posted October 10, 2018 Thanks guys - so he didn't pick up the bone so I guess he isn't actually interested in me. Well he could very well be interested but just doesn't have the guts to do anything about it,...which actually is a worse situation,...as I was describing concerning the drama they create. In the end the result is the same I suppose, but it is important for you to understand the difference because you are going to run into this kind of stuff all the time if you are trying to date.
Author fieldoflavender Posted October 10, 2018 Author Posted October 10, 2018 Well to be honest, I didn't really think it would actually work out. I mean he's a great catch but I think he's still playing around and I'm looking for something long term. I guess it was flattering he clicked me and told me he liked my portfolio but now it's quite insulting that he's implying that he couldn't even recognize me because I'm like what - too ugly at work or something? Lol I know I shouldn't take it personally. Yeah no time for this drama.
preraph Posted October 10, 2018 Posted October 10, 2018 You know what? I think he knew he worked with you and was just messing with you to see if you liked him, i.e., I think he's a cowardly weasel.
PRW Posted October 11, 2018 Posted October 11, 2018 I mean he's a great catch but I think he's still playing around and I'm looking for something long term. Him aside,...everyone is, or at least should be "playing around" at first. You have to do the "play around" to get to the long term,...that's why it's long term. If you only date people you think you will immediately get LTR, you'll just scare them all away. "A few dates does not a boyfriend make". In a good well balanced situation the average time to get to Excusivity is around 7-8 weeks. If it happens sooner than that, one, or maybe both, might be a little desperate or at least inexperienced,...but if longer than then that, one, or both, has been making mistakes to cause the other to hold back. Bottom line is you have to work your way through the casual non-committal part of dating to get to the "good stuff".
Author fieldoflavender Posted October 11, 2018 Author Posted October 11, 2018 I’m okay with casual dating then if the right person to be exclusive. I mean he may be simply sleeping around. He also lied about his age on there which is a red flag. Yeah whole thing reeks drama bye bye bye. Now hopefully it’s not awkward next time I run into him. Gonna look good though ha!
dispatch3d Posted October 11, 2018 Posted October 11, 2018 Well to be honest, I didn't really think it would actually work out. I mean he's a great catch but I think he's still playing around and I'm looking for something long term. I guess it was flattering he clicked me and told me he liked my portfolio but now it's quite insulting that he's implying that he couldn't even recognize me because I'm like what - too ugly at work or something? Lol I know I shouldn't take it personally. Yeah no time for this drama. Get off the ugly thing - lots of people don't want to date colleagues.
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