Brewgirl1234 Posted October 7, 2018 Posted October 7, 2018 Posts: 1 Unhappy Dating coworker Opinions on dating a coworker.... I was asked out by a fellow teach from the school I work at. We work in different departments, but both coach sports teams, so we see each other often due to practices, gym time and games. We are definitely both attracted to each other. But I am concerned over potential backlash should we not work out or if we were to get together but then break up. I think I’m maybe over analyzing the situation? I love my job and the school that I teach at! Am I crazy to put a guy in front of that? He’s asked me on a date and I’ve said yes, but we haven’t made a plan yet. So I could still back out if it’s a bad idea. -Sam
linym Posted October 7, 2018 Posted October 7, 2018 So I say go for it, but think about it long and hard before you do. I was in a similar situation as you last year, but same dept and we saw each other almost daily. If you can both be mature about it and not let negative feelings get the best of you, if it doesn’t work out, then fine. Also, make sure to not gossip or talk about your dates with him to other co workers. You don’t want rumors spreading. As long as you can be mature and civil about things, I don’t see why not. I get the whole “don’t s*** where you eat” thing, trust me, but... sometimes ya just gotta go for it. 1
smackie9 Posted October 7, 2018 Posted October 7, 2018 It can workout if you let it. I agree with the above poster. I think in the event of things not working out that you have an honest conversation about how to keep things professional, and set boundaries out of respect during the healing process.
LifeBeginsAt40 Posted October 7, 2018 Posted October 7, 2018 Currently just over 6 months into going out with a co-worker, and we are moving in together next month. Working wonderfully for us. Go for it. Maybe you are each others forever afters? Will you be forever wondering if you don't give it a chance?
Author Brewgirl1234 Posted October 7, 2018 Author Posted October 7, 2018 I really think I would. From what a can tell watching him coach and interacting with students and other faculty, he’s a good guy. We have quite a bit in common too, and I’m sure we’d have fun together.
mortensorchid Posted October 8, 2018 Posted October 8, 2018 I would not get involved with coworkers no matter what, be they romantic relationships or friendships. Coworkers are not friends, they are coworkers. It's easy to think that coworkers are friends because you spend more time with them than you will anyone else, but they are NOT FRIENDS. They will take things about you and use them against you, even trivial things like what your favorite color is or what your favorite move is. As another poster said, don't s*** where you eat. Be nice to coworkers but not too nice. Don't share a lot of things about yourself with them. Remember, just because you work together you think that they are your friends but they are not really. Especially in the world we live in today - everyone is very critical and narcissistic and blow things out of proportion and are social justice warriors. I have to remind myself of this fact all the time and it's been proven to me over and over again. STAY AWAY FROM COWORKERS AS FRIENDS.
Author Brewgirl1234 Posted October 8, 2018 Author Posted October 8, 2018 Oh my @mortensorchid! Where the heck do you meet someone then??
Scarlett.O'hara Posted October 8, 2018 Posted October 8, 2018 Honestly, I think it is something you need to think over carefully, especially if you love your job and have limited options if you had to leave. When things go right, it can be amazing. However, when things go wrong, it can make working together impossible. I've seen both scenarios play out. If you are seriously considering it, you need to be confident that you are dealing with a mature, calm, level headed person. How well do you know him? If you have any doubts whatsoever, don't do it. However, if you decide it is worth the risk, my advice would be to take things slowly, and set work boundaries with each other.
ar1489 Posted October 16, 2018 Posted October 16, 2018 Posts: 1 Unhappy Dating coworker Opinions on dating a coworker.... I was asked out by a fellow teach from the school I work at. We work in different departments, but both coach sports teams, so we see each other often due to practices, gym time and games. We are definitely both attracted to each other. But I am concerned over potential backlash should we not work out or if we were to get together but then break up. I think I’m maybe over analyzing the situation? I love my job and the school that I teach at! Am I crazy to put a guy in front of that? He’s asked me on a date and I’ve said yes, but we haven’t made a plan yet. So I could still back out if it’s a bad idea. -Sam It depends, and you won't really know until you go out with him. You could be safe, and say no because you don't want to ruin your potential to work together. But TBH, going back on the date will probably make things awkward regardless. You should really think hard about what you want. If you are interested in this guy and you would feel regretful not going out with him, then I would go for it. If you aren't really that interested, it might be worth a little bit of awkwardness now rather than hurt feelings and awkwardness later.
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