Dericksk Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 Hello, I've been through a breakup, it's been more than 2 months now. We've been together for 5 years, got engaged last year. I caught her lying about where she was with who on her day off. She secretly went out with a guy colleague to a different town not to be seen. She's been texting a lot with him, deleting messages and so. then she told me she still loves me (just not that way anymore) but would be better on her own. She was still insisting he was just a friend even after break up even I know they were constantly texting and she was deleting it. I once seen a flash of message saying how much he cant wait to see her at work and that he loves couple minutes they've got. Why the hell she still kept saying he was just a good friend. So she did broke up with me for another guy, dont you think so? I've been stupid and kept seeing her even after break up. I've showed a doormat behaviour, I feel stupid for that. I guess I did it because I missed her a lot. I didnt feel any form of reconciliation from her, but she seemed she really cared about me. Two weeks ago I told her I think its not a best thing to keep seeing each other. So we didnt talk since. I still miss her as hell. Would like to pick up the phone and tell her that. I hate myself for that, for no self respect & dignity. But its just difficult as thought she's the one for five years. I loved her and cared for her a lot. Think I should tell her how I feel? I know I shouldn't, I should even miss her for (most likely) being cheated on and then dumped. It's been two weeks of NC, some days are good some are bad when I miss the good days. I still feel like I care about her a lot and genuinely want to know how she's doing. Thanks guys for reading.
Zahara Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 I still miss her as hell. Would like to pick up the phone and tell her that. I hate myself for that, for no self respect & dignity. But its just difficult as thought she's the one for five years. I loved her and cared for her a lot. Think I should tell her how I feel? I know I shouldn't, I should even miss her for (most likely) being cheated on and then dumped. It's been two weeks of NC, some days are good some are bad when I miss the good days. I still feel like I care about her a lot and genuinely want to know how she's doing. Thanks guys for reading. It's normal to miss her. You are grieving and feeling a loss. But that is not a reason to open contact. You need to heal your heart on your own. She can't comfort you when she is your source of pain. So, no you should not tell her how you feel. There will be good days and bad days -- you just need to keep pushing forward. Best to focus on your own wellbeing. You can care about her but you need to care about yourself first. She is with another guy so I am sure she's perfectly fine. 1
d0nnivain Posted October 5, 2018 Posted October 5, 2018 No you shouldn't tell her how you feel. She was your FI & she cheated on. There is no coming back from that if she's not remorseful. You are going to miss her for a while. You were deeply connected by time & the planned future you dreamed of before she set that all aflame. Be strong enough to stay away. If you don't you are setting yourself up to be a doormat forever. Are you going to be OK with your wife sneaking off with colleagues & lying to you about it? 1
Author Dericksk Posted October 5, 2018 Author Posted October 5, 2018 Thanks guys for support. I know that. I dont want to be a dormat. It's just hard. Gues I just wanted to vent that out
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